regarding MIL and DS's party

[catgirl1976]

MIL is a massive PITA in general. Total narcissist PITA. I could fill a whole board with tales of her shennanigans. However.........

DS is going to be 2 in a few weeks time. A big deal for me, he is my only PFB and this is the first birthday he will be really interactive IYSWIM. We are having a party for him at my DPs. Buffet, bouncy castle, music etc.

MIL lives 300 miles away and has only been to see DS once.

I asked her if she would like to come up for his birthday (more fool me but a) she is is GM and b) thought it might get me out of any Xmas obligations to go down to her.

She would love to.

She then decided she would come up on the train. The mainline station is a good 45 minutes drive away from my DP's so 1.5 hours round trip to get and get her.

Then she decided she would stay in a B&B in a near by town, rather than "put anybody out". Fair enough, but the 1.5 hour round trip now incorporates going to this town, getting her checked etc. So lets call it minimum 2 hours.

Then she decides, instead of coming up on the Friday, she will come up on the Saturday. On DS's actual birthday. I was not happy as obviously we will be doing things with him, getting ready for the party and enjoying the day so a 2 hour hole in that was annoying.

I told her the party was starting at half past two so she needed to be at the station for around 11am ideally.

She has texted me today to say she has got her tickets. ARRIVING AT 13:50.

So, DH will have to go and pick her up and miss DS's entire party? I don't fecking think so.

I am just so angry. I am certain it is deliberate.

I don't know whether to

a)change his party to the Sunday to accomodate her or

b) tell her to change her effing tickets or

c) tell her "That's fine but we won't be able to pick you up from XX at that time and you will have to get 2 connecting trains to where my parents live. Oh. And you will probably miss his party."

I am sorry that's long. I just want to scream

It's a wonder your DH has turned out so well.

God, your poor DH. Poor you. Just keep going with the broken record approach.

Yup. Exorcised.

His dad had walked out not sure I blame him and DH was playing up and wouldn't go to school. One day he jumped in the garden pond so he wouldn't have to go to school because he was wet.

So, she called a church friend who exorcised him, as clearly this was a demon at work.

Instead of just putting him in some dry clothes and taking him to school and understanding it was pretty normal to play up after a parental split like everyone else.

Flying monkeys will definitely be being unleashed soon.

But by the power of Mumsnet, I will NOT back down

Wow, good luck! We haven't spoken to MIL for the last 8 years apart from at a family funeral. Similar sounding sorts of behaviours from her. You have my sympathy!

Can I also be a member of BSCMILs? And when is the party??!!

catgirl are you me?

Not because of the MIL issue but because we live 30-45 mins from Preston station and I originally am from and have family in London approx 30mins from London Bridge and I have to make that trip from home>Preston>Euston>London office a couple of times a month...

Oh and YANBU.

And yes,,,all can join the league and the party will feature a large amount of drinking :)

I've just realise that I was born in 1976 (assuming you were too) and I have a cat...

I'm now questioning my own existence and whether can, in fact, a sockpuppet without realising it

I'm not in Lytham though nor from Tonbridge but I don't want to spoil the illusion

*I am not can

Good for you, standing up to her like this. She's clearly found herself a worthy opponent in this battle.

Just make sure you go through party plans well in advance and allocate your DH some very important jobs during the hour before so he knows he can't cave in and leave you in the lurch.

at her telling you to have a proper discussion with your parents. Cheeky mare! How old does she think you are?

Oh wow! This is getting spooky WingDefence.

Goldrama she thinks I am about 3 I think :)

Before the train times kerfuffle she wanted a phone call with me about meals whilst she was visiting, no doubt so she could dictate when and what I would be cooking

This is a woman, who one Christmas went out and bought presents from me and DH for herself, DSIL1, DSIL2, DBIL, and DNephews and then sent me the bill. Her grounds were she knew what people wanted and it would save me the "trouble" of Christmas shopping.

I know I shouldn't laugh..
But seriously? Too much!

She's off the batshit scale!

What I reckon you should do now is move the party to the week before, not tell her, and then when she turns up a week late, insist you told her when it was and that she's losing her marbles...

See if SHE'D benefit from an exorcism...

Have just emailed DSIL who lives near her. She's confirmed she didn't bother to see her DGD on her 2nd birthday the other week as she had the Bishop over from Africa and was therefore far too busy.

She hates DSIL slightly more than she hates me. Apparantly DSIL has a personality disorder and has poisoned DBIL against her :(

Sometimes I feel sorry for her - she just turns everyone away so she can play the victim but she ends up hurting herself by missing out on her grandchildren and family.

She is the polar opposite of my lovely DM who adores DS and would do anything (and frequently does) to make life easier for me and has been a huge support without ever interfering since I had him.

This thread makes me see how lucky I am with my in laws. It's not always easy as there are lots of cultural differences but they would never try to cause problems.

Marking place for updates, well done catgirl!

Nothing to add but your mil sounds scary!

Keep us updated.

I will

I think I will be having a nice bubble bath when DH makes the call

Just read your thread - totally shocking behaviour, especially the exorcism

Good luck standing your ground!

I hope I don't offend you by stating that I can't wait for the next update to see what your batshit MIL comes out with...

Shame she didn't get eaten by a lion whilst busting her ass round Africa!

Which town is your MIL staying in? There must be loads of hotels and B&Bs in Lytham, especially off season!

A bath sounds like a good idea. My mil is 300 miles away, dh is an only child, we have an only child the last time she never ever rings/emails us unless to tell s what te neighbours have done. I'm soooo pleased she hates me and stays well away. Dh rings birthday/Xmas/mothers day .....

As luck would have it catgirl we are actually in your neck of the woods this weekend for a gourmet break (psyched) but I think DP would more than understand if I explained our plans had changed slightly and we were picking up your MIL from the station and taking her to the party, en route giving her a little bit of objective advice about, you know, being a normal human being.

In the meantime, I think any MNer worth her salt would get DH to conduct the conversation on speakerphone tonight, record it, and then post it here for our edification. Looking forward to it...