to be concerned about my friend giving birth in the USA?

[YoniGetAnOohWithTyphoo]

My friend 'P' got pregnant by an american citizen (unplanned, on holiday kind of thing...) anyway, cut a long story short: he has said that whilst he isn't interested in her (and much less in coming over to the UK to play happy families), he, and moreover his mother, seem very keen for P to come over and give birth in the US, all expenses paid.

Whilst this seems like a nice gesture on the face of it, i'm a bit worried. Notwithstanding the fact that P seems to honestly think she's gonna fly to the USA alone at about 35 weeks pregnant (don't they have rules about this sort of thing?) with all the suitcases in tow, if a baby is born in the USA i'm worried it will be an 'american citizen' and as such, won't just be allowed to fly back to the UK. Do any mumsnetters know about this?

I'm haven't said much yet because I don't want to hurt her feelings or scare her, I know at the end of the day it's her choice... but I can't help thinking she hasn't thought this through. What do you guys think?

5 hours of labor after they had decided my baby was in distress...an anesthetist finally showed up to do the epidural...and then another 5 hours after that...a surgeon finally showed up (completely covered in someone else's blood!!!!!) to do the c-section (this was, by the way, a full 40 hours after I had started my labor...and when I finally got my notes after a year of demanding them....it turns out that they wrote that I was only in labor for 1.5 hours total - shows you can't quite always believe the statistics).

No, you are wrong. It is correct that all American citizens regardless of where they live are subject to the tax laws of America. However, those laws say that if your income is below the thresholds (they vary from approx $9700 - $16000 depending on the size of the household) and you are not self-employed (there are a few other rare exceptions), you DO NOT need to file a tax return. Most children will fit into this category of having no income. Once they are adults and starting to earn income, then they can choose to renounce their citizenship if they intend to not return to live in the USA. But it seems silly to me to not take advantage of the opportunity to have American citizenship in case the child might want it - it's much easier to give it up than to get it.
By the way, there are businesses which facilitate the travel arrangements for people coming from all sorts of countries specifically to have their babies in the USA. There are no current immigration laws against it. There is some conversation about making some laws against it, but currently there are none.

But, going back to the original issue. I think that the trip that the OP's friend is considering is not a wise one, because of the potential custody issues and that it's not fun giving birth without your family and friends around you for support.

Apologies if I've missed it Op, but how far gone is 'p'? How long left in terms of time do you have left to make her see sense?

Op your friend must be on glue

You need to talk her our of it OP.

I had a friend from uni who was in a similar situation, she went along with it and it ended very badly for her.

Would the US Army provide the medical care? Not that it matters - going out there alone would be a terrible idea.

Sorry, reason I mention that is that you need to be prepared for all possible lines this man and his mother will spin.

Tricare

Basically agree with everyone else. Apart from anything else, why on earth would she want to do it? I know the NHS has its faults, but you'd at least have the continuity of care of being treated by the same midwife/team of midwives throughout your pregnancy - I would find giving birth in another country terrifying.

As for the motives of the father - who doesn't want to support her - and his mother, it smells very fishy indeed.

Sofia, the IRS disagrees with you. I don't think it's likely that you are right and the IRS is wrong. Most likely it is you who is wrong. So many people have tried to fight with the IRS about this, going to court citing the US constitution and they always lose. There was a Swiss guy the other day, left the US when he was a baby and never went back, lived all his life in Switzerland, and the IRS finally caught up with him (you can google his case). Obviously they went after him because he became very wealthy: they have no incentive to chase after you for not filing if you earn below the threshholds and therefore owe them nothing. That does not mean you have no legal obligation to file, it just means nothing will happen to you if you never file (and if you never become notably wealthy).

This thread is terrifying. Please don't let your friend do this. I think a previous poster's idea of tipping off US immigration is a good idea, should she be crazy enough to get on the plane.

I'll third that about tipping off US immigration!

We were all born in the US and even though we're not subject to US income tax we still have to file a tax return every year.

Have you spoken to to her yet OP?

Fourthing the advice to tip off US immigration! God, this thread doesn't get any less scary.

Hi everyone, haven't forgotten about you, just catching up with the thread. I haven't spoken to P yet because she lives some distance away and is still working currently. Me and a few other friends are hatching a plan to lure her to a meeting point either this weekend or next. We haven't managed to get the sisters on board - I think they really don't understand the seriousness of the situation...or are too scared to think about it.

More updates/answers when i've finished catching up...

If your friend was my friend I would (if I couldn't change her mind)

1. Find out the airline and dates of travel and make absolutely certain that they know that she will be x weeks pregnant if she tries to pretend she is less. They won't risk letting her on the plane
2. Notify US immigration
3. Notify Social Services. They might not be able to do anything but they might so worth a call
4. Do everything in my power to get her passport.
5. And in case all those things didn't work, offer to take her to the airport and go somewhere else/have breakdown/minor accident/anything to stop her getting on that plane

There was a story on BBC NI a few years ago where the mom was sent back home but he got custody of kids because they had US citizenship....awful story. My heart broke for that girl.

In answer to Runwayqueen, she is 33 weeks gone now, so we don't have much time (she only disclosed a lot of the details at her baby shower which was a few days before I posted this thread - also where I tried to talk to the mother and sisters about it whilst P was dealing with some guests outside and they just looked uncomfortable and found excuses to busy themselves in the next room...)

She flies at the beginning of November and I can only hope to god that if all else fails you guys are right about US immigration and she gets sent straight back on the first plane to the UK- that is our one safety net at this point. only problem is her bump is quite small (she basically concealed it until she was 6 months from all but close friends, for example) so i hope she isn't planning any concealment tricks...

My other friend has suggested trapping her on the pretence of a 'girly goodbye weekend' some distance away and offering to drive since 'of course she won't want to in her condition'...I think this could be a good idea as long car journey = captive audience, not easy for her to get away... mean but necessary perhaps?

DS was born at 36 weeks.

Just saying...

No way would I go to a foreign country to give birth, even tho DS' dad was from there...

You want to be "home" and secure. Not in a totally alien place.

OP Do it. Do whatever it takes.

I a, the poster who said I would hide my sibling's passport if she was even thinking about thia. It sounds like P has already booked her flight? I have spoken to my American husband about this thread and for once, he didn't dismiss this as women's chat. He was horrified.

This is serious stuff, mostly for the unborn baby. The money and IRS filings are one thing - one way or another they will get sorted out. A baby/ toddler / young child / teenager etc being raised without its mother.... These things leave lifelong scars, for many, many people. Hoping everything turns out well just isn't good enough.

Don't do it for the thanks which you may or may not get down the lone. Do it as a christening present for the baby.

P will not be eligible for Tricare. That is a big deal because Tricare covers all pre/post natal care and the birth. It is free. This is the insurance I have & it is very good.

But again. She is not eligible unless they get married. The baby would be eligible for 60 days after birth.

I currently live in VA and am familiar with the military, though not the army specifically.

I'd want to know where the soldier lives - she couldn't stay in barracks with him. He may live off base & it wouldn't be an issue.

He will also qualify for free legal advice through his base legal office. They may not be experts in this field of law but she will not be eligible for the service because they're not married.

Honestly tax implications are the least of her worries at this point.

Having US citizenship might be helpful at some point but at this stage I'd want to stay with what I know. And as someone who had to move at 30 weeks into a different country w/unknown everything I would STAY PUT!

Another idea: ask her to have baby's father sign the necessary forms allowing her to come back to the UK with the baby now, before she leaves the UK. They can all be filled in except the baby's name/dob.

If she hesitates to ask him to do this, ask her why. If she asks and he refuses, ask her why. Either way, her response should be telling.