to be concerned about my friend giving birth in the USA?

[YoniGetAnOohWithTyphoo]

My friend 'P' got pregnant by an american citizen (unplanned, on holiday kind of thing...) anyway, cut a long story short: he has said that whilst he isn't interested in her (and much less in coming over to the UK to play happy families), he, and moreover his mother, seem very keen for P to come over and give birth in the US, all expenses paid.

Whilst this seems like a nice gesture on the face of it, i'm a bit worried. Notwithstanding the fact that P seems to honestly think she's gonna fly to the USA alone at about 35 weeks pregnant (don't they have rules about this sort of thing?) with all the suitcases in tow, if a baby is born in the USA i'm worried it will be an 'american citizen' and as such, won't just be allowed to fly back to the UK. Do any mumsnetters know about this?

I'm haven't said much yet because I don't want to hurt her feelings or scare her, I know at the end of the day it's her choice... but I can't help thinking she hasn't thought this through. What do you guys think?

Yes, there is lots of misinformation on here.

Also, be aware that legal advice about this sort of thing costs a fortune. It is difficult to find lawyers who are qualified to advise on international family issues - it is a very specialist area and they will charge a fee for initial consultation. About 7 years ago, that was about £400 - £500. After that, you may be looking at tens of thousands of pounds if there is anything that needs to be sorted out. The American legal system is very different & imhe they will always side with the US citizen regardless of what is best for the child.

But, tbh, the whole notion is madness & I am finding it very hard to believe that anyone would even consider this.

Sorry that other people have first hand experience of this type of thing

Maternal mortality rates are shitbecause uninsured pregnant women have shit prenatal care here . Nit because they try and save premiebabies.

Revolting i suggest doing a google search of the new tax laws. You're wrong and you'll. Be surprised to know Americans are giving up tgeir citizenship

Also pregnancy Medicaid can not be given to foreign nationals now. I'm being denied it on basis of foreign husband, change in laws. They're asking for his sponsor information, this isn't misinformation this is what I'm dealing with now.

I'm now receiing no prenatal care. With ds they did let me have it and I still would never do it again here even with Medicaid. I was physically held down they were trying to force an epidural so they could induce, majority of women get potossin here. I'm not making this up its true and im scared

I'm glad some of yiu had better experiences but you either had great insurance or had medicaid, ops friend will not be eligible

I second the lack of medical care - a non-citizen visiting will be expected to be covered by travel insurance - she will not be covered by Medicaid/medicare and yes, prenatal care is appalling unless you have excellent medical insurance - which I did but was still unimpressed with what was on offer.

Sorry that looks like I was physically forced in to epidural. I was forced down for monitoring and held so I couldn't walk around nit to stick the epidural. I was being verbally bullied about having thatrr

Would a travel insurer even insure a woman at 35 weeks? Sh

you do Get better food and views though. Swings and roundabouts I guess. off to nc after outing myself totally anyway

I honestly have no idea. Was not something I had to look into - the Ex H was DoD Blue Cross Blue Shield when I flew.

Lol Colder, I already did - knew I'd be outing myself left right and centre on this thread.

OP - I really really hope you can get through to your friend - she's likely setting herself up for year and years and years of misery. :(

If the op outs her self and shows her the thread I'm pretty sure that'll do the trick lol.

Imagine if this was a mil thread. My mil wants me to travel halfway round the world to have my baby on another continent, is she being unreasonable?

What a nightmare!

Incredible to think that she is even considering it tbh.

Also, would their medical insurance even cover any of her medical treatment?

Diddl - not bloody likely.

No way, they'd have to be independently wealthy

Wasn't there a thread a few years ago about someone who unexpectedly gave birth while in the US?

Yes. She'd gone on holiday and ended up with complications so couldnt fly.Travel insurance covered her but there were hoops. At 35 weeks I don't even know shed gettravel insurance....let alone if shed be allowed in when immigration noted her position and open return ticket...not to mention she's incredibly short-sighted considering this. I really hope OP gets through to her.

I wouldn't want to give birth over there because it is much more unsafe, they pressure you into induction and c sections because it is easier for the doctors. Watch the documentary 'the business of being born' it is about child birth on America and is scary.
I think the dad wants custody and thinks the baby being born in the USA will help that. She needs to be in the uk for safety and security.

Colder...I got virtually no pre-natal care in the UK because there was a shortage of staff in my area (West London). I would have loved someone to shove an epidural down my back! I couldn't get one when I desperately needed it (for an emergency cs because baby's heart was in distress), because there was a shortage of anesthetists. I'm not sure why you are having trouble receiving Medi-Cal. My dc's receive it without trouble and their father is not legal to live in the USA.

In any case, I agree with OP...this is not a smart idea for her friend.

Medi-cal is just in California. In my state (at least) I have asked to apply for pregnancy Medicaid and been told that the receiver of pregnancy Medicaid (which is different from normal Medicaid) has to be a US citizen which the OP's friend won't be.

I didn't think this would affect me as I am a US citizen and didn't seem to be an issue 2 years ago when I was last pregnant.

But when i went to the Medicaid office I had to show my husbands wages and because we were asking for a "handout" we were also asked to give his sponsors information, when you come in on a visa it says you have no recourse to public funds or your sponsor will be billed. Also are you married? If you aren't they won't be using your partners wages to declare eligibility.

DH was insured through work (we were dropped from insurance by employer in October) I thought we would be fine.

Maybe because your partner isn't legal there they are only using you to declare worthiness for benefits?

More likely medi-cal is more set up for immigrants. Medicaid varies by state

Also my state is one of the ones that has chosen to make life difficult for medicaid users and anyone going to for Obama care, so there may have been additional changes (only in my state) and not on a fed level, but I can't see her signing up to medicaid and getting approved on a 90 day visa in any state. It just isnt going to happen in a million years.

And if this family have the kind of cash that means they can spend out tens of thousands of dollars for a private birth, they will have lawyers that will make her life very difficult.

From my state:

For pregnant women who do not meet the citizenship requirements for Medicaid, see the information below about Emergency Medicaid for Aliens.

Emergency Medical Assistance (EMA) For Nohat n-Citizens

Noncitizens, who are Medicaid eligible except for their citizenship status, may be eligible for Medicaid to cover a serious medical emergency. This includes the emergency labor and delivery of a child. Before Medicaid may be authorized, applicants must provide proof from a medical professional stating the treatment was due to an emergency condition. The proof also must include the dates of the emergency

Giving birth at 40 weeks probably won't count as an unforeseen medical emergency

Also the state I am a judge gave permission to hold a woman against her will in hospital because she wanted to leave against medical advice to go to a different hospital other than MH issues I can't think of any reason why a pregnant woman shouldn't be allowed to decide what they do with their body. Rights of the fetus are IMO better than they are for the mother in many states.

She's crazy to consider going, she has no legal right to stay past 90 days on the Visa waiver program, her baby will be a US citizen at birth, he can stop her removing the child from the county as well as the state or country, sounds like they want to let her be booted out and take the baby for themselves.

She nuts to consider going. Why does she think he is offering to spend thousands for her to give birth in the US if he is not interested in her? He would only do it if it gave him some massive advantage (e.g. custody of the child).

If your friend is insistent about going even after she has heard all the points in this thread, then I think she should ask for the dad and his mum to sign a contract, drawn up at their expense, before she goes out there. This would need to cover:

• they will cover all medical expenses incurred by her and the baby for the duration of their stay
• they will cover all her legal fees
• they will cover all day to day living expenses for the duration of her/their stay and provide somewhere reasonable, suitable, etc plus transport as required
• they will give up all rights to put in a claim on the child and will sign the passport form immediately the child is born (or before if possible) to enable the baby to return home with the mother as soon as she needs to return to the unfit the first time
• to guarantee minimum levels of care to be provided for you and the baby - you don't want to get there and discover they're going to lock you in a room to have the baby with no medical help because they don't care about you or your experience, if there's anything wrong with the baby they can whisk it to hospital to be covered on dad's insurance but if anything happens to the mum then hey ho how tragic and that's even better for us as we get to keep the baby without any interference.
• that you won't be forced into getting married to the man in order to benefit from his health insurance which is how they are planning on financing it.
• etc etc with as many points as possible

I have no idea if such a document would be legally binding after the birth of the child. But just asking them to sign something to confirm what they have said isn't unreasonable given the large sums involved and the amounts she could end up being liable for.

If somebody said to her to go to uni and they would pay all her fees and everything, would she just go and do it or would she get it all confirmed in writing or would she do the course and risk getting to the end and being liable for the costs and having the qualification withheld? IRS not like buying a house and having an asset to sell afterwards to recoup the cost. This is the same but with her child at stake - is she prepared to never see it again if the dad/mil contrive to keep the child themselves?

If the dad/mil are not prepared to even think about sorting out such a document or sign it (having been assured that it would stand) then hopefully it would act as a massive warning flag to your friend that they do not have her best interests at heart and would be happy to take the baby whilst saddling her with huge debts and causing her longterm problems getting back into the country.

It might also be a more gentle way to broach things with your friend - then you're not saying to her 'don't go' and thus putting yourself on a collision course with her. You're saying 'if you're determined to go then because we love you and the baby we want to make sure you're protected and that the baby is going to have the best possible start if we're not around in person to look after you'. Hopefully when everything is laid out she will be able to see the risks and come to her own conclusions about not going...