To expect when my dh has said he has been doing housework all that day that includes, making beds, hovering, polishing, fuming!!!

[Allthreerolledintoone]

I now work full-time and I am really struggling with work and running a home I feel like I do everything. Dh does most of the ironing, DIY occasionally tea and dishes sometimes pack lunches I do every thing else plus the above maybe not so much ironing but I will if needed.
Anyway kids have been home with dh today because of the strike. I come home from work and ask what they have been doing thinking dh may have taken them out and he said he bathed the kids, did all the housework and baking and washing three loads apparently( the basket was half empty yesterday so I doubt it unless he's emptied his work bag today instead of 2moro. Baking was 8 plain buns :-/ so hardly an afternoon.
Oh and he went to the shop I wrote a list of 8 items. I've come home and the house hasn't been polished or hoovered the beds haven't even been made, the bathroom is a mess and I am failing to see what house work he has actually done. I am livid because he could of made the beds at least and took the children out but no the kids look bored, my house looks exactly the same as I left it. Tbh it's tipped me over the edge I've had enough.
Yesterday he had an orange, peeled it and left the peel on the table. I left if for 2 days and no one put it in the bin only my mum did when she came around. I am sick to death of picking up after him to the point even these tiny tedious things irritate me. But apparently I am nagging, I am stressed and tired and irritated by his thoughtlessness. His excuses are I forgot, i I was going to do it, I didn't see it or il do it later but never actually does. Honestly I've been sat for the last hour in tears thinking I want him to leave. I cannot bear to be in the same room any more I do admit it's my time of the month if I seem extreme but it's all building up.

I think my house just is a dust attraction. I have to polish every other day (I can just about leave it 3/4 days at a push) because the surfaces get so dusty

FWIW....to me polishing is dusting and then using Mr Sheen, but to others it means just dusting.

I dust.

pianodoodle

Fuck off! The average man expects to do housework. On the other hand, woe betide the man who says he does more than his fair share, for he will be assumed to be a whinging prick who believes women's place is in the home.

As for the OP, you are working full-time and doing more household chores than he does, unless you have omitted things like the garden, the car, sorting out broken-down appliances, ferrying children, and other home-related things that have to be done. Where I part company from many posters is the idea of provoking a chores war, ie, refusing to do chores unless OH comes to the party, or alternatively the plastic bag treatment. That is a great way to end up with a) a filthy, messy house b) smelly clothes c) daily takeaway and, more importantly d) furious spouses. I have considered doing the same thing myself, but the truth is that it would probably end my marriage, and I don't think that is a good idea for any member of my family, me included.

Toad

I am a lone parent who Home Educates one of my children. Both have Autism.

Somehow I manage to do all the general cleaning daily, that involves, hoovering, tidying, polishing - though not all items of furniture just the obvious ones! washing dishes, washing clothes, hanging them out. Caring and cooking for my children, one of whom is at school so with school run to do twice a day. Once a week I mop floors, clean the bathroom, tidy children's rooms, they usually do it themselves but I will do a more in depth one.

I also manage to sit on my arse for hours, reading or MNetting! I think your DH sounds lazy OP.

Although I do agree when kids are tiny, babies and toddler age, all bets are off and ALL "housework" is childcare, caring for small children is a full time job and nothing else should be expected. But OP's kids are 10 and 5.

'Oh and Still Speaking Spike, perhaps if you have actually put your rubbish in the bin then your ex wouldnt have felt justified in leaving your crap out to see exactly how long you would take to get off your arse and deal with it. No wonder he is your ex.'

Since this is also the man who shat his trousers and then left them on the bathroom floor for me to pick up because he 'couldn't work the washing machine', and who wouldn't do the washing up because 'it was the most demeaning thing you could ask a man to do'- I'm not exactly crying my eyes out he's my ex. So wind your neck in with your personal attacks.

Polishing is rubbing with a cloth with polish surely

I get rid of dust by using an adapter on a vacuum

Occasionally I polish as well but I don't believe them to be synonymous

Slightly ot though

I think beds should be made every day.

In my house beds are made every day, pillows plumped, bottom sheet straightened, and duvet smoothed down.

For those of you who say you never polish, do you wipe tables, ornaments, window sills etc down ?

If so thats very similar to polishing, just using a damp cloth instead of polish.

Stillseeking

I have read it through several times and still cant see where the personal attack is. I simply pointed out that if you had put your rubbish in the bin then it wouldnt have become an issue. And given that I didnt know about your ex's behaviour because you didnt mention it, I fail to see how on earth I should have been expected to use that information in mitigation.

Baking?! Baking isn't housework, it's an entirely non-essential activity.

Re the orange - how about "Please could you put that orange in the bin, it's bugging me?" Polite but direct

Baking?! Baking isn't housework, it's an entirely non-essential activity.

Who said it was?

OP listed baking as a chore-like activity.

pianodoodle

Fuck off! The average man expects to do housework. On the other hand, woe betide the man who says he does more than his fair share, for he will be assumed to be a whinging prick who believes women's place is in the home

Oh ffs. Touched a nerve?

Making beds? Is that a thing?

Surely most people make the bed and polish

Polish what?

I sometimes make the beds, not often though.

I make the bed nearly every day (I have occasionally not got round to it at the weekend.)

I also polish, but that probably happens about once a year, with dusting being far more frequent, at at least 3 times a year.

(I live alone. I'm the only person who suffers from me not cleaning as frequently as I would have happen if I wasn't the one doing it.)

I don't remember the last time I polished.

Surely 'making the bed' nowadays is pulling the duvet straight as you walk past.... maybe a 1 or 2 second "job"
Polish - nope - I never polish - seem to have managed being a home owner for 23 yrs now without ever needing to do that

As for the opening post, if I'd taken a day off to have the dc at home, and done all the OP's dh had done, I'd consider that a fairly balanced amount of work / relaxing tbh. I'd not be very appreciative if my dh then started questioning the amount I'd done when he got in.