to want the school to admit some responsibility

[Justforlaughs]

Phonecall from school last night. 14yo DD "stormed" away from PE lesson after minor altercation with teacher, didn't return to lesson, an hour later a pupil asks DD something and DD hits her. School want to put DD in isolation for a day. All sounds reasonable, penalty for bad behaviour - and I am not condoning it at all. HOWEVER, DD is by nature the kindest, gentlest, quietest 14 yr old you could ever imagine (won't even put up her hand to answer a question in class because she is too shy) and the ONLY time I can remember her lashing out in the last 4 years or so is when her blood sugars have dropped suddenly - you see she is a Diabetic. To me, the whole incident is typically symptomatic of a moderate/ severe hypo, and I feel strongly that the teacher should have flagged that her "storming" away from the lesson was not "normal" behaviour for DD, she should have followed her/ got first aider to find her and check that she was ok. She sat alone for an hour in corridor, where no-one knew she was before the incident with the other pupil. Not being dramatic, she could have fallen into a coma. The school now want a meeting to discuss her behaviour, so AIBU to raise my concerns. I am honestly, not trying to belittle the fact that she hit another girl, but I don't want either my DD or anyone else getting hurt because of another incident like this. I am worried that it sounds like I am excusing her behaviour, and I suppose I am in a way. WWYD?

Not random at all

Strumpetron apart from the fact that I have no wish to 'bare' anything with you, wtaf?

Holy crap im going to have to hide a thread I think for the first time ever!

If this is the level of compassion and understanding of adults on the net no wonder your dd doesnt want to go for her tests/injs at school where other teenagers may notice. And if she is of that mindset and is trying to downplay or hide her diabetes she is hardly likely to use it as an 'exvuse' now is she.

*excuse

I was making a point about behavioural issues being linked to underlying medical problems if it wasn't obvious, something that evidently from this thread needs to be addressed. I was just adding that water infections can also be a cause?

if this is so problematic for you then I do apologise.

Strumpetron, have you even read any of this thread?

Yes I have.

As I've said, I was just pointing out that it's something we should look out for as parents too. I'm not trying to say the OP's daughter is suffering from this because it seems obvious it was her diabetes that caused her to act differently, it was a general comment to people discussing teachers being aware of things that can cause children/teens to act differently.

Agree with Poppyhat

I have taught in secondary schools fir 20 years and 200 students is the average number I would see each week.

I would expect and be expected to know by name each and every student with a medical need.

I would be expected to report immediately any student who left the class without permission.

If a student is not in class and the school is not dealing with it the school is legally responsible for any all consequences.

I would be expected to know and respond to any symptoms of hyper or hypo blood sugar.

From what you have written the school was not meeting any of these expectations, which are standard and required. Even if the teacher was a supply teacher who didn't know your dd the school still has a duty of care which they failed to meet. As a result your daughter's medical needs were unmet and another student was hurt. That is the school's fault.

A student being out of class for an hour is unacceptable. Check that they were dealing with it or not but it sounds like they weren't, which makes them fully responsible. At that point the office should have been informed and they should have been looking for her, with some urgency given her medical needs.

My tutor was diabetic. He used to start every half term by explaining that if he started getting aggressive or shouty we had to get him to eat something. He had a special biscuit stash just in case. He was in his 50s and had beeb diabetic all his life and couldn't always tell when a hypo was coming. Some people just don't seem to understand at all

Strumpetron I think the point here is that a water infection, whilst very unpleasant & quite serious, takes time to come on & is not a medical emergency which can kill if not dealt with - the bottom line is a hypo has the potential to do exactly that - every year we hear of diabetics dying in their sleep ('dead in bed' syndrome) due to not waking during hypos - given that many parents of diabetic kids get up to check their kids levels every night (& if they are wrong correct, set the alarm to wake later & do the wole cycle again ) I'm afraid even with the best intentions it's an emotive comparison.

whole cycle...If there's such a thing as a diabetic 'wole ' cycle I've never heard of it!

There is a lot of ignorance about diabetes on this thread.

OP YANBU. It sounds as if the staff and probably fellow students at the school need educating about the signs and symptoms of an acute hypo.

It is entirely probable that your dd had no inkling of what was happening and certainly no time to do anything about it.

Maybe you could get her consultant, diabetes nurse, GP on board to work with the school nurse and first aiders to get support in place.

It is horrible when your child has a serious illness and you have to send them to school knowing that they are not safe.

I think its time for the op to get angry,the outcome of the lack of care and attention from school staff resulted in a girl getting hit ..this time
The school are lucky they don't have a 14 year old girl in hospital (or worse) recovering from dangerously low blood sugars.
This is a serious condition ,and must be treated as such .
It can ,very sadly ,be a killer.
And while a child is in the school system ,responsibility lies with the school and education department to keep that child safe .
Yes a girl got hit , but consider the very real possibility that a child could die .i don't even like to write that ,but sadly it is a reality that people with diabetes face.and parents of children with diabetes know .

Q: "Wwyd?"

A: I would make sure the school understands the severity of the situation that took place, with regards to your daughters low blood sugars and possible hypo. I would also make sure that they understand that they would be fully responsible for anything that happened to your daughter with regards to her medical condition.

i find it ridiculous the school wants a meeting regarding her behaviour, I'd be very angry if it was my child. I would be angry at the school! I'd be going to the meeting with a lot of questions for them

Cross post poppyhat ; )

My husband had been diabetic for nearly 20 years the last time he had a really serious hypo. By 'really serious' I mean a fractured skull that happened in the ensuing diabetic fit and 5 days in intensive care.

But surely he should have been able to see the signs / take responsibility for his own blood sugar readings etc?

Lots of things can have an impact on blood sugar. Exercise. Being ill. Food combinations. Stress. Relaxation. Hormonal changes. And many more. And the shit thing about being diabetic is that you can do it all right 99.9% of the time but the 0.01% of the time you make a mistake can have serious consequences.

The OPs daughter has been diagnosed type 1 for a year. That is really not a lot of time at all to get to grips with all the potential impacts on blood sugar and all the nuances of how you feel to detect a problem. Diabetes information given out by health professionals is still severely lacking....I've lost count of the amount of times DH has been told a certain food or certain action WILL do X to his blood sugar, when it is in direct contradiction to his experience of 25+ years of type 1 diabetes.

I do think the OPs daughter has to accept the punishment in this instance, due to lack of proof about the cause of her outburst. But I also think the school need to be more understanding, more supportive, and more careful of her health.

Well, it seems that the people who DO know anything about Diabetes don't think I'm being unreasonable to voice my concerns anyway, so thanks for that!

If I knew, beyond any shadow of doubt, that the incident was due to low blood sugars then I would be fighting the isolation, but as I don't (merely, strongly suspect) I don't feel that it would be right to try to get her excused. However, the school may suggest it themselves after our conversation (and pigs might fly!).

Isolation, is not isolation as such, just the day is spent away from friends and classes, always teachers present though, and as I said earlier, it will be time spent with those who spend their working lives listening to kids problems and concerns so might be good for her anyway.

I do realise that testing blood sugars regularly won't always avoid hypos, however she is struggling with doing them at all, tbh, and is quite likely to make them up completely (very worrying) rather than actually doing them. I can only be sure what her levels are if I actually watch her testing - which she absolutely hates, or check back on her monitor - which is obviously too late. I am going to raise the possibility of a continuous monitor at the hospital on Monday, even if I have to pay for it myself. I don;t really know how the pump works, but they haven't suggested one as yet. I assumed that she needed to get good control before she was considered for one. Will have to find that out as well.

Thanks Again

Yes, the school needs to be fully aware that they are and were responsible in this case. I am sorry that another child was hurt, but do think that on the balance of probability this was indeed a hypo, it so clearly fits my dad's behaviours.

I find it amazing they didn't check on the OP's DD, that it wasn't properly followed up. I've had to call an ambulance to my dad and it happened so fast; the OP's DD could easily have been in a worse situation right now.

OP I'm just mulling over the possibility of your DD talking to other diabetics of the same age; this may help her feel less "different" and also impress on her the need to be so careful in testing etc.

I mentioned earlier that I know a 13 yr old who is diabetic, but having just looked at your profile, we are nowhere near to you so couldn't suggest a meet up with DD's friend.

But maybe your diabetic nurse may be able to suggest someone or some people for your DD to talk this through with, of about her own age.

Does anyone remember the asthmatic child who died in a corridor in his primary school having been sent out of the classroom by the teacher for "innappropriate behaviour".

The other children were begging the teacher to help him but she insisted they ignore him.

Schools have to recognise that they have a responsibility to educate staff and support staff when there are students with potentially life threateneing conditions in their care.

To those people who "don't get it"
Everytime she goes out with friends, to the shops, to the cinema, to a birthday party I worry every minute. I check that all her friends have my mobile number on them, I check that she is wearing her medical bracelet to alert emergency services. Every morning I go to wake her up I worry that she won't wake. (We've had 2 incidents where she didn't, the second time she ended up in hospital and took 24 hours to come round). I assumed, obviously wrongly, that when she was in school she was watched over and safe, that if there was a problem they would ring me. I was wrong!
I'm not making excuses for bad behaviour, I want her safe!

Fryone we tried that but nurses said there were no girls of her age in the area. I wonder if the girl you know is on facebook or something like that.

Just wanted to get comment 200!

OP get a doctor to explain to your DD in words of one syllable what the long term consequences of allowing her blood sugar levels to fluctuate could be (let alone short term). On the plus side, with a stable glucose level her life expectancy should be completely normal. Sigh, it must be tough for her