to want the school to admit some responsibility

[Justforlaughs]

Phonecall from school last night. 14yo DD "stormed" away from PE lesson after minor altercation with teacher, didn't return to lesson, an hour later a pupil asks DD something and DD hits her. School want to put DD in isolation for a day. All sounds reasonable, penalty for bad behaviour - and I am not condoning it at all. HOWEVER, DD is by nature the kindest, gentlest, quietest 14 yr old you could ever imagine (won't even put up her hand to answer a question in class because she is too shy) and the ONLY time I can remember her lashing out in the last 4 years or so is when her blood sugars have dropped suddenly - you see she is a Diabetic. To me, the whole incident is typically symptomatic of a moderate/ severe hypo, and I feel strongly that the teacher should have flagged that her "storming" away from the lesson was not "normal" behaviour for DD, she should have followed her/ got first aider to find her and check that she was ok. She sat alone for an hour in corridor, where no-one knew she was before the incident with the other pupil. Not being dramatic, she could have fallen into a coma. The school now want a meeting to discuss her behaviour, so AIBU to raise my concerns. I am honestly, not trying to belittle the fact that she hit another girl, but I don't want either my DD or anyone else getting hurt because of another incident like this. I am worried that it sounds like I am excusing her behaviour, and I suppose I am in a way. WWYD?

Oh- and while I understand the reasoning behind sharps being kept in the school office, her testing kit should always be available, she is old enough to understand about correct disposal of used test strips/lancets, she could have a suitable container in her bag and empty it as soon as it is convenient.

I agree it sounds like the school needs more training. Given her age does she have any friends she is close enough to and who are sensible enough to point out to your dd/teachers that the behaviour change may mean she is ill?

In Educating Yorkshire, isolation means that the children face into little booths in a room, with staff behind them, so she wouldn't be on her own if it was the same in her school. I used to think isolation meant on their own in a room, but after seeing an isolation room in Educating Yorkshire, it occurred to me that most schools probably wouldn't have the space for each child in isolation to have their own room!

I am very saddened to read some people's responses.
I would even go as far as saying that the op herself is not being very fair to her daughter .
I would be livid if this happened to my child .
Livid at the PE teacher ,and the rest of the staff who failed to notice that something was going badly wrong my dd.
I am sorry but I feel that this was wholly down to the adults and professionals around your dd ,
Their failure to spot that your dds out of character,bad behaviour may have been down to low blood sugars, could have led to her becoming seriously ill ,or worse.
She is a child.
Even adults have hypos out of nowhere ,
With the best will in the world ,even the best controlled blood sugars can throw you an unexpected low.
You have to trust the professionals around Your dd to have an understanding of her condition ,and know when to assist her . I think they have failed in this instance.
It can't be allowed to happen again .
One incident led to the other ,it should never have reached that point.
I would not be agreeing to her being punished for this.
As her parent you should be backing her up.
She did nothing intentionally ,it was due to a medical condition,something she had no control over,
And for anyone who reckons she should have her blood sugars under control ,and should know when a hypo is coming on?? I can only shake my head in disbelief..and hope that they or no-one they care for develops this disease have a bit of compassion for a young girl who now has a nasty life long condition .

Difficult one and I think you've had some fab input on this thread.

It's nice to see you using this situation to get the message out there to DD and the school about diabetes management.

Blood sugars being off can cause huge behavioural impact and often the person doesn't realise or can't control it even if they want too. Your right that both your DD and the school need to act when things like this happen as being alone could be disasterous.

I'm sure this has been said up thread but I had to add, I'm certain a lot of diabetic teenagers go through a phase of rebellion against their diabetes and go a bit off the rails regarding diet and monitoring. I work with a diabetic grown up who is very well controlled but every so often he acts a bit out of character and we simply tell him to check his blood sugars. If a wellcontrolled adult needs promping then any 14 year old will do sometimes also.
My profession brings me into contact with diabetics often and it's a fact that increased exercise can trigger a hypo. There should be system in place that the PE teacher is well aware of your DD and should have picked up on this behaviour even if it was to send another pupil after her or to get another member of staff

I think you need to raise your concerns about sugar levels in order for you, DD and the school to work out how she can avoid such a situation again.

She needs to take responsibility for her behaviour bat the end of the day she hit someone and that's unacceptable.

Thirdly, a teacher should always stay with his/her class. The teacher could have sent a good friend after DD or informed management if the situation.

I would like to point out to those who think people cannot comment unless they have experienced a form of Diabetes, that my father had type 2 diabetes and had to test himself every morning until I was 10. He did eventually die of kidney failure in 1991 (aged 10) after one year on dialysis but I did experience from birth, his way of dealing with it. On a forum, how can you judge experiences so out right? Is that enough to have an opinion on it, OP, because I keep reading your posts about "people of those within a position of trust" not writing what you think is right and ignoring it. Have you considered an individual medical plan or do you already have one? It is not clear from your posts.

14 year olds do 'flip' sometimes, whether they have a condition or not and I think it's important that you instil it in your DD that she can't use the condition as an excuse to do so - I'm sure she won't she sounds intelligent and I do have empathy for her but just gotta make sure!

Would be good to let the teachers know that it may cause her to act strangely, unfortunately teachers can't be expected to know the signs, symptoms and ins and outs of all medical conditions -otherwise they'd have to be quite in depth medically trained!

If you're absolutely sure it was the blood sugar and not just her flipping out (its easy as parents to try and find excuses sometimes) then I'd just tell her what she did wasn't right, and try and speak to her about how she can start to recognise the signs, maybe help her with talking to people who also have diabetes and see if there's anything they can help her with?

Sorry but comments about your daughters awareness make me laugh and have obviously not had to deal with a hypo. One of my relatives had diabetes for fifty years. Diabetic nurses asked if she would mentor other diabetics because she managed her illness so well. However she could go into hypo very quickly indeed and would not always recognise it. Sometimes you had to make her eat something and she could be very nasty although perfectly lovely when not in hypo. The school definately needed to take the storming off seriously.

retroformica
Of course its unacceptable that someone got hit.
But let's make sure its the correct person/persons who are responsible for that.
The people who are trusted to look after all the children in their care .not a young girl who was most likely having a hypo ,and was unable to control her behaviour in the way she normally would ... Because of her medical emergency that was occurring ...
Where is the sense of making her feel worse about something that happened that was out with her control, what good does that do ,it will only make her feel worse than she probably does now.
It won't stop the same happening again If the same circumstances occur,
Because she can't help it .
Therefor the adults have to take a much bigger part in all this,being more aware,watching for signs ,behaviour etc.so that the hypo could be dealt with .
She didnt intentionally set out to hit someone that day .

Blissx I would say that living with a diabetic counts as having experience of diabetes. It's just that there seem to be a lot of people on this thread who are very quick to dismiss the diabetes as a major factor in this, which is not helpful. DH and I have both seen people go into hypo and my father has type 2 so we've been there and we know how unpredictable a beast diabetes can be even with the best monitoring possible.

I haven't read every post, sorry. But I do think that you and the school need a completely honest conversation with your DD. On the side of the school, if it is a large comprehensive, sometimes, especially if you have a cover teacher/supply teacher/someone who doesn't know all the kids very well, it would be difficult for them to know that your DD has diabetes. In an ideal world it would be common knowledge throughout the school, but I am afraid that we are never going to live in that world. This will also happen when your DD leaves school.

I have a close friend with DM1 and she instinctively knows when she is going into a hypo - but she's had it for 50 years. I'm pretty sure that she didn't cope well when she was first diagnosed....but your DD will learn to recognise the signs. Like all of you, she just needs to get used to the changes that are happening in her body.
Which brings me onto the school. YEs, they acted harshly and as an ex-teacher I would not punish her for something that is not under her control - as long as I understood what caused it and that her actions were uncharacteristic and due to an illness.
It is difficult for people who are not medically aware to understand what is going on when someone has a hypo. I am afraid that it is your responsibility and, to some extent, that of your daughter's to educate people about diabetes - it shouldn't be, but it is and I am sorry for that.
Your DD's friends also have a very powerful role because they will be able to see what's happening more clearly than she can and will then be able to tell the teacher, or get your DD to go to the school nurse/check her glucose levels - they are your allies and you should make sure that they know how to help her. The diabetic nurse can give your DD advice and then there's Diabetes UK who could give her support. It would also be useful if the school did, say an assembly on diabetes/epilepsy/first aid...kids love the fact that they can be armed with the knowledge to help their friends.
The school is guilty of ignorance and that could have adversely affected your child's health, so you are right to be angry....but you now all have a chance to educate everyone and increase awareness of a chronic condition. Good luck.

I think it's important that you instil it in your DD that she can't use the condition as an excuse to do so

Good grief! MNers are really excelling themselves today!

Yes MNers are excelling at telling the truth whilst some people don't like it!

Teenagers play on all sorts, me and my mates did! not saying she WILL, just that she COULD.

But ah, if a teenager has a condition they all become holier than thou don't they

whispers
me and my friends used our asthma and tachycardia to get out of PE

I have already commented on this thread(type 1 myself) but Honestly some of the comments upset me so no idea how your feeling.No matter how hard a diabetic tries or how well controlled a hypo can happen quickly especially when exercising. At 18 a year after my diagnosis I was not well controlled I was rebelling against my diagnosis just wanted to be 'normal' so feel for your dd.

some people have mentioned a pump(id like one but dont qualify) but that should also be a choice your dd makes. It seems ridiculous that she cant have her testing kit with her! So if she has a hypo she has to go to first aid?! Not that shevshould have to but you can also get continuous glucose monitor(again would love one but no funding) maybe considering the schools restrictions on her testing she could get funding for one? But again only if she wants one. To all other diabetics and their families

Its diabolic she isn't allowed her testing kit, I hadn't read that part. It's no worse than wearing a badge, it's a tiny pin prick!

School should take full responsibility and all staff who teach/care for your daughter at school should be trained and have an understanding of her medical condition and any additional needs. Contact Diabetes UK if you need any further information as to what the school's legal obligations are. From the information you have given the school and adults have treated your daughter appallingly. I have a close family member with type 1 diabetes and hypos happen even to the most sensible adult let alone a teenage girl. I have witnessed the complete change in personality due to a hypo that can come on very quickly with little warning. A meeting with all involved is necessary and make sure the focus is on what the school are going to change and improve rather than blaming your daughter.

The OP's DD hasn't tried to use her condition as an excuse for anything!

She's accepted her punishment with good grace.

Her mother is concerned that the school are failing in their duty of care towards her!

I worked with a colleague who could have severe hypos without noticing if they came on suddenly and which showed in abruptly uncharacteristic behaviour - usually sharpness or rudeness when she was the gentlest person ordinarily. If a middle aged adult can rely on colleagues to know when to pass her a snack and drink and prompt her to check her sugar then a teacher definitely should be doing this for a child! Quote the Equality Act. Reasonable Adjustments.

^The OP's DD hasn't tried to use her condition as an excuse for anything!

She's accepted her punishment with good grace.

Her mother is concerned that the school are failing in their duty of care towards her!^
I didn't say she did, I mean for future reference.

This thread got me thinking about water infections (not even nearly as serious I know but bare with me)

Water infections can change people's behaviour - predominantly the elderly and teens - astonishingly, making them more volatile, irritable and impatient. Particular in the elderly they can have a complete personality change. Not many people are aware of that, something to consider when quite a lot of teen girls get them.

Well thank you for the completely random thought Strumpetron

As yet another person with a diabetic relative, in this case it's my dad, I'll add my voice to those who say that even when it's well under control, a hypo can still take a diabetic unawares.

Dad is 69, has been dx for 22 years and recognises the signs most of the time. Yet still has the occasional hypo without warning, he's had similar to the person whose DH had one while sleeping. I've had to gently nudge him into testing his sugar the odd time too, when he got stroppy.

DD is in Yr 9, and has a friend who was dx at the age of 4. A cold can really cause a problem. Or a sickness bug, that can really wreck your sugar control, the poor girl has ended up in hospital at least once a year on a drip because the sickness, etc has made it impossible for the girl to keep even fluids down. And it happens so fast.

People are just so unaware of the issues around diabetes and actually some people try to avoid it. DD's friend missed out on some playdates, etc when little because other parents didn't want to take any risk of a problem while she was at their house. Her mum taught me to inject the girl and we even had sleepovers. (Obviously she can inject herself now, this was when they were younger.)

OP I still don't like the idea of having to go to the first aid room to test/inject. I think that your DD, and any other person with diabetes, should have their kit on them all the time. I am aware that sharps may worry some people, but not all injections are carried out with a traditional syringe with a big needle these days; DD's friend has something that has a needle around 1cm long and looks rather like a pen.