WORST customer care ever - Am I being unreasonable?

[dollybird1000]

Hello fellow MumsNetters,

I rarely post on her but I have experienced the most most outrageous customer care from a cafe. I'm still in disbelief.

Bear with me - its a long one -

Scenario:
So I regularly visited X cafe as lovely coffee/food and quiet ( so you'd think they would want to keep customers ) either just before I collect my 3yr daughter or after I drop her at nursery school.

So I would imagine I have spent at least £100 in there since the beginning of Term. Visting 2 to 3 times a week.

Yesterday I collected my daughter and 3 year olds being as they are .. as we got to the top of the road - near the cafe - she announced she needed a wee and was desperate.

I thought - no worries " quick we will just nip in my fav cafe and you can go and then maybe we will stay for a treat "

I went into the cafe and just happened to say " oo do you mind if she quickly nips to the toilet"

For the sake of clarity - I will be DD and the cafe BH:

The member of Staff I asked turned and said bluntly
BH: " No you have to be a customer"

DD: " But I am a customer , I come here regularly .. pls can she just go to the toilet shes desperate"

BH: " Well you will have to buy something then "

DD: " Are you serious ?"

BH: " Yes you have to buy something the toilet is only for customers now " again - NO sorry our any notion of understanding..

DD: " Are you telling me my 3 year old cannot use the toilet .. really ??.. I think your attitude is disgusting, I am shocked .. I am a customer.... er"

By the time I had to leave as my daughter HAD to go. I left saying

DD: " I want to speak to the manager"

BH: " Hes not here, he will be in the morning"

DD: " I am totally disgusted by your attitude and I will be back to complain"

BH : " you do that "

The staff was rude, blunt and totally got my back up - I was so so so angry on behalf of my daughter.

I had to take her out to wee on the street ( which is ok as Im not uptight about those things ) and would have just done that in the first place.

SO I went back this morning and spoke to the manager. I AM ASTOUNDED this place has ANY customers still- really-

me DD: " Hi , Im sure you have heard about an incident that happened yesterday regarding my daughter needing to use the toilet quickly - and the response I got and gave "

BH Manger : Bluntly " Its not a public toilet and yes I heard about it "

DD : shocked " um seriously you treat your cutomers like this ? Also this lady was quite rude in her mannner .. instead of saying " im really sorry my manager has told us strictly we cant allow non-current customers to use the toilet "

BH Manager : " well apparently YOU were rude and aggressive "

DD: " Yes I said the attitude was disgusting as I was furious , and your member of staffs manner was so abrasive "

BH Manager : " well its your word against hers "

DD: " I cant believe it, well you have definitely lost a customer "

Where upon the Manager just shrugged..

I am SO shocked. I have never in my life experienced such appalling attitudes towards customers or children.

If they had a sign up stating toilets for customers only OR if I kept going in after school and letting my daughter use the toilet and not buying anything OR if I had never been/use the cafe. Or if it was for me.. not a 3 year old.
I might ( might ) feel differently.

I am also very sad as I loved going there and was planning to take my mum there today to show how fab I thought it was.

I would also like to add - they only take cash , I had none on me but had planned to go to a cash point and return for a treat... although the staff did not know this.

I am posting on here for many reasons :

1. Am I going mad ? Was I wrong to think I could nip in for my daughter to use the toilet??
2. Has anyone else experienced this in cafes - and how did you feel ??

Comments / Replys Please .. !!

She wasn't posting a "review"! Good grief.

oh, oh, that's like that one about a pregnant lady being allowed to pee in a policeman's hat

Oh yes, probably, it was 20 odd years ago I worked there.

that would never work here, their hats just aren't the right shape

? Her response to her experience will be a review will it not? Let's not split hairs...besides which I was making a general point.

Nobody said the Op was abused and sworn at.

But bluntly saying " No you have to be a customer", aint exactly the milk of human kindness.

vaiumredhead, what is your address?Just in case any of us are caught short in your area so we can march straight in and use your loo without asking.

And no , it's not different. A café, shop, pub or restaurant is a public place. They are private property,

damn phone, café etc are NOT public places. They invite customers but as long as they don't discriminate illegally they set the rules.

A council in France tore down its public loos and offered (small) rates rebates to shops, bars, restaurants and supermarkets which would allow the public to use their loos with no obligation to buy anything.
The public got free loos. The Council saved 50% on the cost of running public facilities. The businesses got a rates rebate and a few "impulse buys" from loo users.

The girl in the cafe was really mean not to let your DD use the loo and it sounds like she was rude too, possibly because you we're obviously angry with her. The manager just sounds like a total tool. Fuck them. Find another cafe and forget about it.

I think a lot of people are missing the point. No, cafés are not legally required to let members of the public use their toilet.' But, they can, if they choose to. It wouldn't have hurt them to let a three year old child use it. And they didn't have to be rude about it. It's as simple as that.

As far as I know, cafés aren't legally required to let people shelter inside if it's raining unless they are a customer. How about if an elderly person walked into a cafe in a sudden downpour just to wait for a few moments, and the staff said 'you're not allowed to wait in here unless you buy something'. Wouldn't that be harsh? Doesn't seem any different to me.

I'm sorry I missed the previous thread

OP was BU

Cafe was not "mean". Poster are not being "nasty"

Where is this lovely little cafe with nice food and coffee. I'll go. Heck, I'll even buy something

A cafe is not the same as a private house and you know it. They were daft to turn away a potential customer. As I said I would have just popped in, used the loo quickly and left just like every other person in Rl would have

Name and shame the rude bastards so I never go there!

Crikey.

The child is 3. Of course the café were unreasonable.

As for this: treaclesoda Wed 16-Oct-13 12:48:15
she couldn't wait ten minutes? I thought you were going to say that the nearest toilet was an hour away! Ten minutes is not a very long time for a child to wait for the toilet.

The child is 3! Neither my 2 nor my 4 year old can wait 10 minutes when they need the loo. Is this not normal?

grovel, we have the same scheme in South London...

Flipping heck, I can't wait ten mins sometimes let alone a 3 year old!

katese11 , it seems eminently sensible to me. I wonder why more councils don't do it?

YANBU. you are a regular customer. I'm sure there must have been many times you have been in buying coffees and cakes and you haven't used the facilities. They are a business dealing with the public and it's awful to turn away a young child who needs the toilet. I'm sure had they let you use their facilities on this occasion you would have been an even more loyal customer and maybe even been generous with a tip for the kind waitress the next time you were in. It's their loss.

No idea grovel - but it's a rare moment of sensible thinking for Lambeth Council!

I think I was totally justified in using the term "total bitch". There's a nice way and a wrong way to treat people. Some people have absolutely no empathy for others and this cafe assistant sounded like one of these. This cafe assistant could so easily have said something like " we'll we're not really supposed unless your buying food but seeing as your daughters only 3" or something like that. What kind of world would it be if we all stuck so diligently to the rules. Common sense and a bit of compassion was needed here...the assistant was told that she was a regular so she should have acted more reasonably, instead she took the confrontational route and managed to cause a big upset(and also a possible loss of trade). Was it really worth all the upset rather than let a little girl use the toilet.

I didn't see the first thread so maybe I'm missing something here, but I have a small village cafe/shop in my village which would never refuse a young child the toilet. She also has a book when I'm not carrying enough money or forgotten my card which I pay the next time I go in.
Surely that's how you treat your regular customers.
If the reason is she named and shamed on the internet over one small incident then I agree with the others, that's just spiteful, otherwise I don't see the problem.

i had a coffee in costa coffee last week so i must be entitled to use their loo whenever i want :-) i dont think id want op as a paying customer aa she sounds like a fruit loop!

The thing is moanalot - what about empathy the other way. If the manager has told staff that they don't let non-customers use the loo under any circumstance, what would you have her do?

"Where is this lovely little cafe with nice food and coffee. I'll go. Heck, I'll even buy something"

If you are a regular customer are you really meant to buy a drink and some empty calories merely so that your small child can avoid wetting him/herself?

I have often ducked into a café I use regularly if I need the loo. No one has ever challenged me or batted an eyelid. And I am a grown up. I have done it with my children too. I just don't get the issue. What is the cost of a loo trip? Maybe a few pence of cleaning materials (they have to clean the loo anyway).