Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to be offended that a friend is selling my Christmas gift on Facebook?

57 replies

leelteloo · 14/10/2013 19:53

This is not a best friend but still someone i consider a friend & I buy Christmas presents for her children. We don't have much money for presents, so the gifts are simple but thoughtful. I just saw last years Christmas gift for sale on her fb. I feel upset: Aibu?

OP posts:
fairy1303 · 14/10/2013 19:56

YANBU - I have been known to regift occasionally - if it something generic like soap etc but I know it's not really ok and I would never be so insensitive as to post it on FB where it is obvious you would see it.

comedycentral · 14/10/2013 19:56

Maybe she's super skint

MrsCakesPremonition · 14/10/2013 19:56

I think you are BU. She (or her DCs) have had a years enjoyment from your present and now they are passing it along to someone else to free up some cash and space for this Christmas.

Gileswithachainsaw · 14/10/2013 20:00

It could be a duplicate or she's skint too and needs money.

It sucks but once it's theirs they are free to do as they please with it.

Original poster
leelteloo · 14/10/2013 20:07

It's not the re-gifting or selling; I sometimes to the same if its a duplicate. It's the fb thing and knowing I would see but I am probably being over sensitive.

OP posts:
bellablot · 14/10/2013 20:09

Why is it not okay? If she doesn't like it/need it/want it, whatever, are you saying she better keep it because YOU got it for her?

Why is this re-packing thing frowned upon so much? I couldn't give a flying monkeys fuck if I saw this on FB, I'd probably think, good, at least they are getting something from my obviously crap gift, next time ill try harder to get something she will use/might want/need etc etc

Nanny0gg · 14/10/2013 20:13

I don't think you're oversensitive.

You've put care and thought (as well as money) into a gift. Yes. it's possible it was a duplicate, or your friend is hard up, but it still makes you feel bad that your gift doesn't appear to be 'good enough'.

Tactless friend, imo.

ITCouldBeWorse · 14/10/2013 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 14/10/2013 20:15

It's been 10 month since last christmas, how long do you expect some one to hold on to a gift.

MarmaladeBatkins · 14/10/2013 20:15

God bellablot, that was harsh, unnecessarily so. Hmm

YANBU to feel a little hurt initially but when you think about it. it's been 10 months almost, we all pass on/sell/donate things we've had our use of. We have to do it every year at christmas time or else we literally wouldn't have room for anything else.

Coupon · 14/10/2013 20:15

YANBU. It's rude to re-gift or sell a present in front of the person who gave it to you. It's unappreciative of the effort and thought the giver has put into trying to choose something you'd like. Obviously everyone receives things they don't actually need sometimes, but you give things away discreetly.

Justforlaughs · 14/10/2013 20:16

Offer to buy it "for someone who will appreciate it!"

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 14/10/2013 20:19

So what should you do with things people have bought for you when you no longer want it.

Facebook selling pages are better than eBay, no listing cost and people normally pick it up so no postage.

I really can't see the issue.

Original poster
leelteloo · 14/10/2013 20:19

It was not for her but for her child. I can't afford to buy presents for adults other than immediate family.

OP posts:
FortyDoorsToNowhere · 14/10/2013 20:22

When I sell DC toys the money goes on them. I don't profit from them

NicknameIncomplete · 14/10/2013 20:24

What was the gift? As i think that can change things.

Coupon · 14/10/2013 20:30

So what should you do with things people have bought for you when you no longer want it.

Give them to a charity shop (not the nearest one to the person who gave it to you!)
Sell on eBay and say "collection only" (as long as your friend doesn't know your eBay ID)
Re-gift by post to someone in another town

TheGlovesAreOrf · 14/10/2013 20:33

YABU.

And its probably me.

Im doing exactly that right now, we have too many toys winter Christmas is coming. It will look like Toys R Us has shat in my house and I need to make room.

Toys dont last years and years they just dont.

Out with the old, in with the new.

MrWottingersbitontheside · 14/10/2013 20:33

YABU.

They've had a years worth of play out of the gift and she's probably clearing out all toys that don't get used anymore to make way for Christmas.

Original poster
leelteloo · 14/10/2013 20:36

It wasn't a toy and she was selling it as 'new'.

OP posts:
bellablot · 14/10/2013 20:36

Okay my comments may have come across a little harsh, i apologise for that, but really, I don't see the issue with this re-gifting scenario. I also don't like buying adults gifts because its such hit and miss and if your going to be a sensitive Sarah when the gift has to go then the best thing to do is not buy anything at all and save your own feelings. However, I think it would be good to bare in mind that the gift might be a duplicate or she could be skint.

I've got a perfume box set for my birthday last December, never been opened, never will be opened, not something I would buy someone or even re-gift since perfume is quite a personal gift, what do I do with it, sell it or give it away...

chicaguapa · 14/10/2013 20:38

I have a friend who would've done that and I'd have felt the same way as you. Once she told me that a particular toy her DS had was a load of crap and forgot that I was the one who'd bought it for him. Confused

Sometimes you have to just accept people for who they are. There's a difference between being deliberately cruel and being thoughtlessly insensitive. It's up to you where you draw that line, but I doubt you'll change her. Some people are just like that unfortunately. Sad

scarletforya · 14/10/2013 20:39

Was it clothes OP?

It's a bit thoughtless of her to do it when she knows you can see it. But otoh maybe she's broke and desperate for the money.

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 14/10/2013 20:40

I would sell it.

I may be still in the mind set that if it's not getting used or will never be used declutter, sell, charity shop or chuck.

YellowCanary1 · 14/10/2013 20:40

Regardless of all logical arguments, I would have felt hurt too!