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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to post a photo of my own child taken at a school assembly on FB?

91 replies

Tinklewinkle · 14/10/2013 09:22

I'm not the world's most prolific Facebook user, I've got about 40 friends on there at most, I live away from my family so I mainly use it so my parents can keep up with what my children up to

I took DD to school this morning and got a telling off as it had been reported to the head that I had posted a picture on Facebook that was taken at school. I couldn't think of any pics that I had on FB that they could possibly be talking about but apologised and said I'd take it down.

Since getting back home I've trawled through my pics, and DH's pics to remove the photo but there's only 1 that we have on there that was taken at school and it is only of my own daughter.

My youngest daughter won an award at school a couple of weeks ago and I took a photo of her with the award at school. I cropped it before posting it so there was no one else in it - you can just about make out a bit of the shoulder of the child she's standing next to in one corner and you can see the wall of the school hall behind her (just a plain brick wall). No faces or anything, you can't even see the uniform logo on her jumper as she's holding up her certificate in front of her and it covers the logo

Now, I have never, and would never post pics with other children in on FB, but my own child?

OP posts:
Crawling · 14/10/2013 09:24

Yanbu

Ghostlygirl · 14/10/2013 09:24

If it's only your child, then the school is being ridiculous.

Aeroaddict · 14/10/2013 09:24

YABNU. I find it quite bizarre that anyone would have a problem with that!

friday16 · 14/10/2013 09:25

Now, I have never, and would never post pics with other children in on FB, but my own child?

You're not asking the "OMG there's a photo of a child it's like an open invitation for abuse won't you think of poor Maddy hun you can't be too careful can you luv xxx" brigade to be rational, are you?

Chunkamatic · 14/10/2013 09:25

It suggests the head hasn't actually seen the photo, maybe you can call and explain?

londonmum14 · 14/10/2013 09:26

Could it be a case of mistaken identity?
Can't see why someone would have a problem if it's only your child in the picture. If they do then I'd tell them politely that it's not coming down anyway.

WorraLiberty · 14/10/2013 09:26

YANBU

But you need to set your album so that friends only can see it.

If you've already done that, you need to go through your friend list and guess which miserable, shit stirring bastard spoke to the Head.

Not that it's any of the Head's business.

MissBattleaxe · 14/10/2013 09:27

YANBU. If no other child is involved, then it should be entirely up to you whether you post a photo of your child on FB, not up to the school.

42notTrendy · 14/10/2013 09:28

Yanbu. We found that the head at ds's infant school was a bit naive about social media and had a similar approach. The problem is that without a blanket approach to it, the less responsible users of social networking may well post something that could have serious repercussions for a child or their family/carers. Perhaps ask if the school can offer clearer guidelines?

perceptionreality · 14/10/2013 09:30

YANBU - the school (and whoever reported you) is being pathetic.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 14/10/2013 09:30

Tbh, I wouldn't remove the photo - it sounds entirely innocent, and I can see no reason why the school should object to it.

Actually, I would leave it up, and would put in a comment saying that you wish that whoever objected to the picture had had the decency to contact you directly with their concerns, rather than tattling to the school!

PervCat · 14/10/2013 09:31

the whole child preotection argument is flawed

there was a guardian thing on it here
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/jun/23/photos-children-school-ban

MadeOfStarDust · 14/10/2013 09:33

We get a letter round every year telling us that if we take photos on the school premises, we MUST NOT post them on ANY social networking sites or offer them for publication by any media organisation.

The choice was - agree to this and stand by your agreement, or we ban parents from being able to take pictures at all...

Hardly a difficult compromise to meet... most schools round here either ban cameras altogether or have a similar agreement with parents...

PervCat · 14/10/2013 09:33

read hte article below then!

TheBigJessie · 14/10/2013 09:34

Just your child?! I was fully expecting this to be a thread about a photo of your daughter's entire year group!

YANBU

Original poster
Tinklewinkle · 14/10/2013 09:36

Thanks.

I've just checked my settings and they're private, DH tagged himself so I think it's someone off his list - he has a couple of TAs and some parents on his list so I've removed his tag.

The head's problem is that it was taken on school grounds, however there's no identifying features in the photo - no school name, no uniform logos - all that is visible is a bit of navy blue jumper and plain brick wall. If you've been in the school hall you'd recognise it but to anyone else, it's a plain brick wall.

They remind us every time there is an event that photos are for private use only as there are children in school with child protection issues. I know this, which is why I cropped the pic so it was only my child in the pic

OP posts:
AtiaoftheJulii · 14/10/2013 09:37

But it's ok for schools to put photos of their pupils on their websites?

YANBU, the school is.

TheBigJessie · 14/10/2013 09:38

pervCat that article is a strawman. School photography policies are not solely about paedophiles and photoshop.

They are also about protecting children from abusive family members and children in witness-protection programmes.

BeerTricksPotter · 14/10/2013 09:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JanuaryMadness · 14/10/2013 09:42

In this case yanbu.

I would not be bothered if my child were in that picture either.

However, I do understand a ban on publishing photos of other peoples children. There are adopted children in my family and bloody good reason why the birth families should not have any idea where they are or what school they go to. The risk, although small, of them being identified is a risk not worth taking and it is certainly not anyone elses decision to make.

YoureBeingADick · 14/10/2013 09:45

if you have made an agreement with the school then I think YABU whether the school is identifiable or not.

send the photo to family as a private message if you want them to see it but remove it from your facebook page.

friday16 · 14/10/2013 09:46

They are also about protecting children from abusive family members and children in witness-protection programmes.

Presumably the child's mother is in a reasonable position to know that her child isn't in witness-protection or being abused? Alternatively, if she's wrong in assuming neither of these things are happening, aren't there bigger problems than a photograph on Facebook?

It's also remarkable how many schools function without these policies. In my experience, they are pretty much the sole preserve of primaries: I've not heard of a secondary trying to enforce such a policy, nor can I see how such a policy could even begin to be enforced (I gather than young people often have portable telephones which incorporate some sort of Polaroid camera). Do photographs that are scary and dangerous when children are in Y6 become safer when they are in Y7? Or is this another example of the irrational "safety" concerns of PFB primary parents that everyone grows out of?

AngryGnome · 14/10/2013 09:49

The school is being over the top on this particular case - but on the other hand it us much easier for the school to issue a blanket ban than it would be up look at each parents photo uploads individually and determine whether or not it is contravening their guidelines. So on the whole, although it is annoying and heavy handed in this particular case, I think the school are not being unreasonable.

You say you use fb to keep your parents up to date with your dd - could you just email them photos taken on school grounds?

MadeOfStarDust · 14/10/2013 09:49

They remind us every time there is an event that photos are for private use only

This sentence says EXACTLY why the head was upset then.....

they remind you the photos are for private use, but you are posting on facebook - doesn't matter how well cropped the pic is.. you chose to ignore the school's seemingly well known request.

you have cropped, others may not - it is one rule for ALL , not pick and choose surely.... don't be surprised when the use of cameras gets banned....

moldingsunbeams · 14/10/2013 09:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.