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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To refuse to host Xmas dinner for 16 when I will be 40wks pregnant?

138 replies

pinkjumper1 · 13/10/2013 18:45

I discovered today that all the in-laws were planning to come to us for Xmas dinner. DH is horrified that I said no. I had invited my dad, sister and her boyfriend (a chef!) as we will need someone to look after DCs if the baby is born that day but I don't think I'll be up to entertaining a huge crowd. Am I just being hormonal or is this not a good idea when I'll either have a newborn or be due to give birth? I do like hosting big Christmas dinners normally. Any other year...

OP posts:

Strumpetron · 13/10/2013 18:46

You aren't unreasonable at all!!

Bloody hell I couldn't cope with that and I'm not pregnant

They should be looking after you.

Get a ready cooked chicken, put your feet up and eat toblerone.

shoppingbagsundereyes · 13/10/2013 18:47

I think this may be the least unreasonable Aibu I've ever read. Your dh must be bonkers if he thinks this is a good idea. Unless he is going to organise a rota so that all you have to do all day is slob on the sofa I think he needs to rethink Christmas Day pretty quickly.

AnyFucker · 13/10/2013 18:49

Is this a joke thread ?

OwlinaTree · 13/10/2013 18:49

hosting 16!!!!!

i don't even have 16 plates let alone 16 chairs!!

YANBU!!!!

CeliaLytton · 13/10/2013 18:50

YANBU because a 40 week pregnant woman can make any decision she wants and woe betide those who go against her

However I can understand why they thought it would not be a problem if you have invited people from your side, especially someone who is not technically family. Maybe they thought more hands make light work and that you were up for entertaining as you had invited people anyway?

Good luck!

dementedma · 13/10/2013 18:50

Seriously? You are being very reasonable not to string your dh up by the nuts for even suggesting it and your in laws sounds like insensitive twats. I was 36 weeks pg with Ds one Christmas and didn't do anything other than sit around and eat my body weight in chocolate!

hiddenhome · 13/10/2013 18:50

Erm, I would tell him you'll be leaving them all to it and you'll be spending the day in bed eating chocolate and watching tv if you haven't already had the nipper. If you have had him/her, then there is no way all those people can come around because you'll be wanting to spend time with just your dh and your dcs.

Strumpetron · 13/10/2013 18:51

Tis the season for nut crackers..

BasilBabyEater · 13/10/2013 18:51

Sounds like they think your sister's boyf - the chef- is going to do the dinner.

Have you told him he is?

Beamur · 13/10/2013 18:52

YANBU. But from your DH's POV you have invited your family, so why not his?

IneedAsockamnesty · 13/10/2013 18:55

Has he had a nasty bump on the head?

BasilBabyEater · 13/10/2013 18:56

Why can't your DH cook the dinner if he wants 16 people to come?

Strumpetron · 13/10/2013 18:56

Has he had a nasty bump on the head?

I suspect he'll have one soon.

kelda · 13/10/2013 18:58

YANBU. It's also a big risk - if you are expected to host everyone and you go into labour that day or the day before, the Christmas plans will be ruined.

nennypops · 13/10/2013 19:00

Tell DH that's fine, but he will be totally in charge of getting the house ready, cooking, washing up, laying the table, and entertaining all the guests, because you intend to do nothing other than sitting around being pregnant or looking after the baby. Also remind him he will need to plan for what happens if you are in labour. Then ask him whether he's still keen on 16 people schlepping round.

comingalongnicely · 13/10/2013 19:00

I'm sure you'd have a lovely day with your feet up while DH cooks the dinner. Luckily if he gets stuck or needs help his parents will be there!

If he can't/won't then why not? Plenty of time to "train" him...

thursdaysgirls · 13/10/2013 19:01

Let them come round. Then, if you're still pregnant, fake your waters breaking (see Modern Family for a brilliant example of this) at around 10am. Dash to hospital and spend a few hours there. Leaving them with no hosts and no food.

That'll learn 'em.

YADNBU.

sarascompact · 13/10/2013 19:01

Tell him it's a wonderful idea but that you're a little concerned as to how he's going to manage to prepare and cook dinner, serve, entertain, wash up, prepare and serve high tea for 16 and look after the children at the same time.

Because you won't be lifting a finger, will you? gives the OP a hard stare

specialsubject · 13/10/2013 19:03

as this isn't the first one, how come your husband doesn't realise that you will either be very tired, in labour or with a newborn on that day, and none of these are compatible with dinner for 16?

hope the cluelessness isn't hereditary!

Maria33 · 13/10/2013 19:03

Yanbu

breatheslowly · 13/10/2013 19:05

Is he usually like this?

tracypenisbeaker · 13/10/2013 19:05

Get some Iceland nasties in the oven and be done with it.

Facebaffle · 13/10/2013 19:06

YANBU.

What if your baby arrives early?

missmargot · 13/10/2013 19:08

YANBU! I will be 38 weeks pregnant on Christmas Day and my parents are invited because they will do all the work and insist I put my feet up they are great guests. My FIL is not invited as despite being a lovely man he won't even offer to make a cup of tea.

Your husband needs to understand that there are different types of guests and at 40 weeks pregnant you get to invite only the sort that will make your life easier or none at all, entirely your prerogative.

MissStrawberry · 13/10/2013 19:09

"hope the cluelessness isn't hereditary!"

Must be as the in-laws seem unaware this is a terrible idea!

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