To be upset about my wedding venue?

[IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow]

Name changed
Basically have a tiny budget. We were going to cut our guest list but we don't want to. We love everyone on it.
Have been offered The British Legion as a venue for free. Best man works evenings there.
We have decided to take it so we can afford to give everyone a nice time. Its bloody ugly inside. Has lovely big field though/n pretty outside etc.
I know I chose this, and I am not wanting to save up for few years as I just want to marry dp and have all our friends and family there. And would be stupid to not accept such a generous offer.
Just venting I guess... and wondering what to do about the fading carpet, chipped paint, arcade machine...

Could you talk to your vicar about the costs and see if they can be reduced at all or if you can do a payment plan for it?

Most vicars I know would rather people got married in the church if it is important to them and will do whatever they can to help.

I'd look into a chapel. Its so much cheaper!

Ok, so quite a bit to add today.

On the advice of pp & upthread, I spent the day extensively nlooking for chapels in a wider area. We have found one. The pastor said we would need to have a registrar present and no fee for the service, just asked for a donation. It is perfect. The only thing being is that he would have to do it on a Sunday and I cant have the legion on that day. Also its still near where we used to live, just the other way, so 25mins from each other (chapel & legion)

What to do?

The next bit of news is that I have some beautiful decorations from a very lovely MNetter. First time I have met up with anyone on here, and she was just fab. Thanks so much to you if you're still reading the thread .

Lastly, I have been seriously thinking about our honeymoon. I'm not sure what we will do on wedding night, however honeymoon is too much for us I think. If anyone has any ideas then that would be great. I'm really not sure its possible though, so was thinking of sp3nding the next few months ruthlessly decluttering and making our place beautiful and spotless. See if family can have the dc for a few days and stocking up on groupon deals, meals etc. Then have our honeymoon at home. Picnics, late night meals , lay ins, any other ideas? Its not ideal, however the whole point is that we spend a few days just relaxing and doing nice things out, surely? So if it has to be at home, so be it. Will have to have the place looking immaculate though.

Meant to say, having the registrar come to the chapel and oversee the pastor marrying us costs just £88

Do you have any family coming from another place who would be willing to house swap and look after the dc after the wedding?

I don't know if anyone would do that, maybe worth an ask though.

Good news (although I suggested it three months ago under different name!!)

You've inspired me to get married too on a shoestring.

Are you sure register will only be £88? I thought it would be more

Yes, its £88 because the registrar wouldnt be marrying us. He would just watching in to the pastor doing it. Not sure whyvthis is the case, apparently vitvisnthough. Im sure for hotelvweddings etc it is alot more than this.

Congratulations to you btw!

Umm. Apologies for my many typos there .

Is the legion registered for weddings? Could you have the wedding there & get the pastor to give you a blessing ?

No, unfortunately its not registered.

Its such a shame because the chapel would of meant church oversight at an affordable price.

This is all getting rather tangled, I feel. The whole thing was planned perfectly. Church ceremony and tea followed by legion and ploughmans etc. Now its getting rather complicated and I worry whether the important things we originally wanted (celebrating & sharing with all the most important people to us) is getting lost.

Ok, so was thinking taken up the chapel offer, just have a little ceremony, us, dc, parents and possibly brothers/ sisters.

Week later have our wedding reception at the legion. Still have our ploughmens meal, games etc.

Does that sound ok?

ploughman's

Sounds like a good idea OP. I haven't looked in on your thread for a while. I think your honeymoon idea sounds good too!

I think it sounds ideal. The actual marrying bit must be right.

That sounds fab. The actual ceremony is the important bit so that must be right for you both.

I would let all family & close friends know the plan so if thy want to come to the ceremony then they can (& you can all go to the pub for a drink afterwards), then have the celebration party later.

And the honeymoon idea sounds brilliant. If you have someone you trust, could they pop into your house while you are at the party and decorate the bedroom with petals/fairy lights etc?

Ahh I'm so pleased that it sound's good. I just dont want to let the chapel go for the sake of it all being on 1 day.

I'm also glad that my honeymoon idea seems ok. Cant wait now. Any other ideas for things to do on honeymoon would be great( days out etc)

How about a cream tea or afternoon tea in a posh hotel? You can get good deals on grouping and amazon local for these types of things

Ok, so chapel is booked now . The pastor is going to be marrying us, and I just need to book the registrar. Apparently, the chapel is barely used for weddings, and the lastone was years ago. Again, bit over why the registrar needs to oversee this,. All good though. It is a little building,.

So pleased.

So pleased for you x

oadcb

Really pleased, that was a fab idea!

Thankyou.

Will be a bit akward speaking to the original church tomorrow, hopefully they will understand though.

They ought to be glad you're getting the wedding ceremony that matters to you. The church shouldn't be a salesman.