To be upset about my wedding venue?

[IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow]

Name changed
Basically have a tiny budget. We were going to cut our guest list but we don't want to. We love everyone on it.
Have been offered The British Legion as a venue for free. Best man works evenings there.
We have decided to take it so we can afford to give everyone a nice time. Its bloody ugly inside. Has lovely big field though/n pretty outside etc.
I know I chose this, and I am not wanting to save up for few years as I just want to marry dp and have all our friends and family there. And would be stupid to not accept such a generous offer.
Just venting I guess... and wondering what to do about the fading carpet, chipped paint, arcade machine...

Sorry. Was meant to say the first night hotel, dc outfits & flowers.

a plan

Wonders where everyone has gone

Order it by the date needed to be done, including the 'paid' date for items needing paying then ask people who have offered to help, to help. Hitched have some great organisational tools to help along.

Thank you Mia Any idea on what times these things ideally need to be done by?

I'm finding it difficult to prioritise it all into order

Don't know if I am to late but when my friend got married she wanted to really make a a personal and intimate affair. She had a later wedding and the only people she invited were to the whole day so there were no extra evening guests.

She and her close friends made the decorations - bunting and HUGE pompoms! She also requested that we all brought homemade cakes which were served as pudding. One of the best weddings I have been to.

BBQ or hog roast in the garden... Most people actually enjoy a relatively relaxed, let your hair down environment like this far more than a classy hotel where you've got to sit where you're told and listen to interminable speeches.

It'll be lovely

Thank you both for the lovely messages.

That's exactly what I am hoping for, a relaxed, fun wedding. Hopefully I can manage that.

The bring a cake idea is great. Some of the pps upthread are about this, and it is something we are doing. So good to hear of another wedding where this went down well.

Sorry, it had dropped off "Threads I'm On".

Back!

Hortatia! Yay! for you.

ok well personally I'd be keen on assembling ordering as much as possible now - eg placing an order with Baker Ross for children's crafty things, telling all and sundry to start saving jars, deciding on invitations and buying card/paper/envelopes.

If something can't be done now, why not? when is the latest it could be started and finished? eg the favours need to be finished at the latest the night before the wedding, but could be done several weeks or even a month before, if you can store them suitably.

The week before a wedding is manic with the things that can't wait (flowers, food, rehearsal) so it makes sense to push everything else as early as is sensible.

I can't c&p from the app otherwise I'd offer comments on timings of things to do from your list.

That makes perfect sense, I think I'll make a start on that sort of thing now.

Kids boxes as you suggested and the invites too. Got a box of gorgeous paper and crafty bits here to make a start on them with, thanks to a lovely MNetter ( )

Not sure why I didnt think about assembling bits now myself. At least something will be geting done. Ok so Kids stuff to get together/ order in. Am going to look in notebook as well as reread this thread, in case I missed anything, then put together a list of stuff to buy/make for kids boxes. Any other suggestions would be fab.

Now is the time to start making a list of what needs to be ordered from suppliers, lead times, payment dates & start booking things like the caterers, photographers etc.

Also look at what you can get in the Christmas sales for decorations etc (ikea might have fairy lights etc - they do good battery powered ones which look fab in vases)

Theses ones m.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/art/20265235/

These sound great, I can just imagine the kights in vases outside on the picnic benches in the evening.

Hello! Here's my suggested order.

Make sure your budget is nailed, so spreadsheets, spreadsheets, spreadsheets.
Knock up a present list for those who want one.
Get your invitations sorted and sent in the next few weeks- at least then you know numbers, and people can save the date.
Check the sales for any nice tins of biscuits for the tea party?
Book the honeymoon night asap. Mightydeals.com might have something cheap (but nice), so worth checking.
Pencil in a few weekends for car boot/charity shop visits to pick up crockery, blankets, nice bits of material, toys and games etc.
Make a plan B for every role, in case someone has to drop out for any reason.
Start on the playlists for the reception music. It'll take a while to put together.
Plan your order of service, readings and who's doing what
Keep your eyes peeled for bargains and when you spend deduct from the appropriate budget.

I will admit I haven't read the whole thread, so sorry if I missed anything important, but just wanted to say that I have been to a few weddings, including some in hotels, and some in British legion pubs or similar, and one in a beautiful location on the Isle Of Wight in an English heritage property.

The one in the British legion was my aunties and we had a brilliant time, it was great.

The one in the English Heritage property, whilst it was in a beautiful property even if it was haunted was not nearly as enjoyable, as the people I was with never make me feel welcome and I felt like an outsider!

To me it's the people who make it special, not the place.

I hope you have a wonderful day

Just dropping by for an update - great to see it's all coming together

Hello again SirChenjin & Charlesroi

Thank you for putting the to do list in to some sort of order. Yy to Biscuits in the sale. Do I send the invites out as soon as they are done then?

Littlemiss it's nice to hear about another legion wedding

I would suggest getting long lasting tealights from amazon/ebay (as some only last a few hours)

Also can I suggest the bridal factory outlets - theres one in bromley and one op north. great value wedding dress shops.

paper pom poms are well cheap to make!

I'd send the invites at the end of Feb-mid March, if they are ready. It gives anyone travelling the chance to sort out accommodation and it gives the family a chance to argue about sort out who's giving Great Aunt Maud a lift.
Also, you are getting married in the wedding season, so get in there first!

So its not too early then? Will get started this weekend on them.

That being the case, I guess I need to decide whether we could actually afford the church. We want it, however as bogeyface mentioned upthread, we could just go to sign the papers, at the registry office beforehand. Opinions please?

For me, it was really important to be married in church. I could have been married in jeans with just witnesses but I wanted a priest to do it. Flowers, candles, bells, organ, choir, etc add up quickly. That said, from memory your church is expensive even without "extras".

You could consider a blessing next year? Paperwork this year, blessing (quiet or big depending on finances etc) on your anniversary?

Why do you want the church? Is it the whole romantic thing of getting married in the church, or is your faith very important to you? Sorry, can't remember if you've said before.

I think Horatia's suggestion is a good one - do the legal bit this year and then a church blessing next year if the expense is prohibitive. Something special for your first anniversary

The church is important to us through faith. How ever the basic costs are expensive and our budget is very tight.

I'm not sure how we are going to afford it, which is a disappointment, however my DM recent suggestion of postponing it ( ) is a no go for us.

We are on basic costs anyway, and I'm very happy with the plans we have come up with, between us and on here. So while it's frustrating, I'm also aware that it is what it is.

What matters is thsat we are getting married and if it has to be in a registry office, the end result is the same, We will have our family and close friends celebrate the occasion with us, even if it is a week later or whatever.

We will still use the legion, and all the wonderful ideas on here. I will do my absolute best for the church, because that is what we want. If it doesn't happen though, then the idea of a blessing on our first anniversary is great. Probably just me, DP and the dc though.