To be upset about my wedding venue?

[IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow]

Name changed
Basically have a tiny budget. We were going to cut our guest list but we don't want to. We love everyone on it.
Have been offered The British Legion as a venue for free. Best man works evenings there.
We have decided to take it so we can afford to give everyone a nice time. Its bloody ugly inside. Has lovely big field though/n pretty outside etc.
I know I chose this, and I am not wanting to save up for few years as I just want to marry dp and have all our friends and family there. And would be stupid to not accept such a generous offer.
Just venting I guess... and wondering what to do about the fading carpet, chipped paint, arcade machine...

I should add that they are the only independent hotel in the area still trading, and they are doing well.

Menu sounds great. Profiteroles are delicious.

Is the hotel you stayed in where your reception was?

Yes, but the B&B I am talking about is from my first wedding . The rush was the same both times though, you would think I had learned wouldnt you?! :o

I'll have to browse and see what I can find. Not sure how much is right to allocate to it tbh.

Did anyone not stay somewhere on their wedding night?

I am torn because I do think it would be nice, especially as we don't get a lot of time/money to stay somewhere usually.

On the other hand, is it cutting the wedding budget too tight to allocate some to this?

We did, but it was part of the venue package. It was nice to be able to stagger upstairs rather than having to think about getting somewhere.

Horatia Would you of booked somewhere if it wasn't part of package?

we went back to our flat and my best friend and her DH stayed in a single bed in our spare room

I doubt it. We only lived a couple of miles from our venue and were pretty skint by the time the final touches were being arranged!

I fell asleep across the bed, fully clothed, hair up, etc New-DH had to wake me up and undress me (thirty-something fiddly buttons, fifty-something hair grips) so we could even go to bed. There was certainly no sex.

It was nice to have nice breakfast in the morning though.

mind you we did have a very very cheap wedding register office then a boat up the river to a country pub for a meal then bus back for an evening party for 70 odd guests above a music venue in town with a buffet. we saved all our money for the three weeks in Canada we booked before we decided to get married and make it a honeymoon.

Stepaway Your wedding sounds fun! River boat is fab!

I do wish their was a registry office near to where our venue is. I know we want something to do with the church re our wedding. Its just so expensive and takes up half our budget now.

I would stay at home, however as said upthread we have recently moved from where the wedding will be. So not far normally, but quite a way to go on the wedding night, IFKWIM. We chose to have the wedding where we did live for a few reasons, like most our friends & family are in that area & then we got offered the Legion & that sealed it.

there not their .

This has been a lovely thread to read and I am positive you will have a brilliant day.

I don't have any further ideas to add except one. WIBU to suggest that you bring the wedding forward to next month so we all get to hear how it went?

SilverOldie Thank you.

YANBU I wish I could. Really I would if I could get it sorted.

Regarding ceremony costs....

We got married at the registry with 2 witnesses and that was it. Then we had our wedding day, where we were married by our best friend in a humanist type wedding. Another friend did a reading. So it only cost us the registry office fees.

Is there a wood or a nice garden where you could do that? You could do the legals the day or week before that way.

Bogeyface I did mention something up thread that I had thought of something like this. Didn't think of doing a humanist type ceremony though. Would you mind telling a me a bit about it? Have never been to one.

Do you mind me asking who your witnesses were? Re family or friends etc?

thanks ... it was, but whatever you do it will be special for you. There is a lot of expectation that weddings will be so HUGE and SPECIAL that you would need millions to meet expectations so just do exactly what you want within the budget available and ENJOY!

I had decided against it because I was thinking registry and then blessing a week after. Probably be about the same price. However I do like your idea a lot.

Crossposts.

Thank you stepaway

The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of getting the legal, important bit done just us & dc. Then having a ceremony of sorts soon after. There are some nice places near the legion, and if we pick somewhere walking distance, it will be even better.

So I can still keep the plans that have been made at the Legion, and cut out the huge fees for the church/ organist etc.

Has anyone else had a humanist ceremony?

Too complicated perhaps?

I feel this idea may possibly be the best way to scape back a bit of money for the reception/ outfits/ food etc.

Unless you have a friend you'll still have to pay the humanist celebrant.

Dies a church matter to you? If so, do it. If not, don't. There are all sorts of ways you can cut down on catering costs and dress costs, if you want the church. But you need to decide what is most important to you and for that day. .

anchient Yes a church is important. More so to DP then me,especially that church but I still would like the over sight I think.

I think I am just trying too hard to pull all the costs down tbh. Its all so expensive.

I think perhaps I am the problem. I come on here & its full of wonderful ideas to keep it all in budget. Lots of ways to keep it family friendly & it all sounds fab.

Then I discuss it with family in RL and its all . So then I worry about it, because these are the people that are actually coming & it seems like they arent going to have a good time at all.

I have a couple of distant friends that have really stepped forward with this and are being just as fantastic as MN are. Which has surprised me (in a lovely way)

Sorry just checking in on my way to bed!

BAsically we had the traditional set up of two lots of people on either side so they created an aisle. The BMs went first then I followed last with my dad. We had music for that bit, but no singing or other music. Our friend had basically gone through lots of wedding service wordings and put together something that was suitably solemn but didnt involve God, but also was a bit more emotional than the registrars service, we did find some nice wordings on line but our friend is a writer and wanted to do it so we were happy to let him write it. Halfway through another friend did a reading and then we made our vows. It was really nice!

The best bit is that as it isnt legally binding, anyone can perform the ceremony, although if you dont have a friend who is willing then yes, you would have to pay for a humanist celebrant.

Sounds really lovely & personal Bogeyface.

Is your friend a celebrant then. Or do you mean I just need a friend willing to perform the ceremony?

Do you know the costs involved?