Ready to be flamed.....

[Onlylonelymonster]

My dd has just started Reception. An old friend (different schools) has invited her to a birthday on Sun which we rsvpd yes 2 weeks ago. She's just been invited last minute to a class party (no particular friend) and wants to go as she doesn't want to miss out being with new friends. My old friend (lots of history.....) is not going to like it but I don't want to force my daughter to "do the right thing".....I just want to let her choose. WIBU to un RSVP and tell my friend the truth?

och well peppi i am sure you are as fickle as your sound on here lets just all do what suits us and feck other peoples feelings sigh

My DDs were invited at that age to parties of friends from nursery who had gone to different schools. I have to say that they did not particularly enjoy them as old friend was mainly hanging out with their new school friends and they did not know anyone else. They are twins so could at least hang out together, but would have been tough if they had gone on their own. So I can understand why your DD prefers to go to the school party, but I think you are stuck with the original acceptance. In your situation, if it was a good friend I would be minded to mention the situation in passing phrased on the basis that she is going to original party... "DD is struggling with making friends and was delighted to get the invitation but shame she cant go as on the same date etc etc"... I think most of my friends would in that situation say oh of course she must go to new party, in which case I would probably let her go and immediately arrange something else with friend and DC at my expense. If friend did not offer the get out I would stick with the original invitation.

Awww poor Peppi - hahahahaaa!

Never mind love - you hide the thread and tell yourself you're not a selfish git, and it's everyone else that's in the wrong with their boring old manners and consideration for others. Lovely!

pictish

We have missed LOADS of parties and I've never even held one for my children till they got to about 7 anyway - their friendships have definitely not suffered as a result.

OTOH a friend your child rarely sees, well that will mean more than a party with kids she sees every single day iyswim.

I think you're overthinking it - just go to the original one you agreed to, and wait for the enormous number of class parties yet to come, especially in the summer months.

Everyone stops doing whole class stuff and often just does boys or girls once you get to KS2 anyway. Or just a few mates to the cinema, etc.

I hate the social pressure and find that they just encourage children to go apeshit, it's the pack mentality, someone always gets hurt, etc etc.

OK...I seem to have inflamed loads of people and reading all your comments has definitely been food for thought. I decided to stick with the first party as we had rsvpd and I don't want to upset my friend (eventhough I personally wouldn't think it was a big deal myself). DD took it ok though was a bit anxious, with reassurance she seems fine. Really hope she has a good time now. Thanks for the advice everyone it helped.

Oh I think you have done the right thing - nice work

I would tell the child that she isn't free to accept because she has made a promise to someone else. She is absolutely old enough for this message; equally she is absolutely old enough to get the message that you can let people down if you feel like it.

If you worry she is missing out, hold your own class party around Christmas instead.

sorry- xposted- well done OP, right move.

think about having the 2nd party around xmas :)