To be FUMING that FiL has used racist language around ds.

[Stillhopingstillhere]

Ds is 4.4 and has been to see my PiL this afternoon (without me). Dh took him. PIL are in their 70s and are quite ignorant in a lot of ways IMO.

Dh told me that today ds was playing shops with FIL. Apparently ds said to FIL "that will be ten pounds please." To which FIL replied "that's expensive, that's more than the p**is charge."

Dh told FIL not to say that again and ds hasn't repeated it (yet) but I am fuming! Fuming! As well as it being totally disgusting and offensive language I do not want ds repeating it unwittingly at school and being branded a racist. Or them thinking it's something we have said. I am genuinely quite horrified. Am I overreacting to this? Should I say something to FIL next time I see him too? Apparently he wasn't very apologetic and actually didn't seem to think he'd said anything wrong. I suppose partly it's generational but seriously, has this every been acceptable as a phrase? I think not.

the words skinny and black was so my DH could imaging her to some extent

OP - is it possible that allforone is part of your ILs family?

What because i dont find it racist to describe people by their colour or ethnicity? Stop being so pathetic, it's people with your stupid attitude that create and keep the barriers between racial relationships up.

Why do i have to tell people, all the time it seems, my ethnic origin - Every form, every letter bloody ask, schools etc - If everyone is the same, then why does it bloody matter!
I understand hospitals asking though, as some things affect some people more than others or only certain ethnic groups

And yeah, if i was married to OP FIL then i'm sure he would invite me and my big black husband over for dinner

It's all starting to make sense now.

You called a lowly worker a black bitch. But you can't possibly be racist because you're married to a black man.

Cheryl, is that you? Don't you have a crap manufactured song to pretend to sing?

My DP is of Pakistani origin and the word Paki is most definitely used as an insult and he's had it thrown at him very aggressively many times whilst just walking down the street. It's not the same as describing someone as black, Pakistan is a country not a race my DP HATES being referred to as Pakistani as he has never been there, was born here and considers himself British.

The fact that this has descended into an argument about what is and is not racist just shows that it is a sensitive and completely subjective issue. So for fuck's sake isn't it better to err on the side of caution when choosing one's vocabulary?!

And anyone who makes an obviously racist comment like calling someone a 'black bitch' (bitch or not, why the hell did skin colour come into it?!) and then absolves themselves of all possible prejudice by stating that they are married to a black person or have loads of black mates probably need to switch their brain on and switch their mouth off. Pure stupidity.

I didn't call her a black bitch if you read, i described her to my husband as that - different

I seriously think allforone is having a laugh and trying to fit as many racist terms and phrases in as possible.

But could you not just say "some bitch...."? Does the fact that she was 'skinny' and 'black' emphasise the fact that she was a bitch? I mean..a bitch is a bitch,no?

She popped up saying um...odd things on a similar thread recently. Might be the "calling a black man black isn't racist is it" one.

And as for describing said 'bitch' to your fella....why did you need to describe her physical appearance when her 'bitchiness' was clearly an attitude attribute?

Yes..have reported.

Yes fanjo, I think you're right. Going to disengage from the debate now, as allfor is clearly just out to provoke a reaction.

That was the begining rant, i spoke much about her than that, described her down to a tea so my husband could see if he recognised her. Why do you think its bad to be black, and skinny for that matter? She is skinny and black, the same as i would say some big fat bloke etc

i just feel sad that people with so few logical brain cells can be left to breed!

Are you always so fantastically fucking dim all ?

well, noone in my family minds being called black or finds reference to the colour of their skin racist, the worlds cone mad!

Nonsense. Your husband had no need to see if he recognised the woman in question. You used the term "black" because you are racist, and for no other reason. If of course this incident happened at all.

It's a slippery creature of the sea, with fins, and scales, and a puckery type mouth, it's got a.......IT'S A FISH!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, i'm racist with a black husband and kids - People like you undermean the term - Disgusting

But you didn't say you described her to your OH so to see if her "recognised" the girl...you said it was so he could "image her to some extent"...so the "image" of her being 'black' and 'skinny' did, to you, have some bearing on her being a 'bitch',then.

Oh and it turns out he did know her as it goes, ive seen her around and he knows her brother. that's a different story but i wont let anyone get away with upsetting my son and trying to intimidate me!

Describing someone as black is fine, but dropping that descriptive term to enforce a negativity about a person...ie being a 'bitch'...is not fine...it's racist