I'm a teen. Am I BU or my mum?

[confusedtiredandhormonal]

I'm 16 and I started AS levels this year.

I've been working all day and I just popped downstairs for a piece of fruit. On my way back up my mum stopped me and asked me to unload the dishwasher and then load the dishes in the sink, knowing full well that I've still got work to do.

Was she BU to have made me done it there and then or should she have let me finish my work and then do it?

[Topseyt]

When I was a teen (too many moons ago now to contemplate) I used to think similar things about my parents. Now I am myself a parent of teenagers who think nothing of disappearing into their rooms and often leaving chaos in their wake, and I can see where my parents were coming from all those years ago.

As a mum you often need help around the house, and it can seem pretty hard to come by. Just do it. It can be done quickly, and believe me it isn't worth falling out over. Talk to her later when you are maybe all a little more relaxed and explain how much work is involved in AS Levels (I know, my eldest daughter completed her A Levels and went to uni this year). Then you can come to some agreement as to what is realistic to expect and what is not.

[usualsuspect]

The answers on this thread are harsh,not unloading the dishwasher.

[Goldmandra]

Are you my DD? She thinks that as long as she's working she should be exempt from chores and tidying her room too.

I'm in two minds. She does work hard but she also needs to take breaks and as I spend an hour a day taking her to ride her loaned horse she needs to give me some time by helping in the house.

When she's at uni she will have to do both.

[noddyholder]

I think you should have been left to work

[confusedtiredandhormonal]

goldmandra - I don't do riding and I love having a tidy room

[YouTheCat]

If this was just normal homework, I'd agree that you do have to just get on with chores. But it's not.

Does no one here make a few exceptions ever? Make someone a cup of tea and say 'don't worry, I'll do it'? I do. And I get the same back.

[kali110]

I know how it feels to be interupted whilst your in the middle of work. Can ruin your concentration. I would have waited and made you do it when you had finished your work.
Think you have learnt something today, mame sure you have food in your room for emergencies!!!

[SpiritOfTheBuskersCat]

do you use plates,dishes,cups? You need to chip in and help around the house, when you go to uni you'll have to do all the washing, cooking, cleaning and all the work.

[usualsuspect]

Me too,YouTheCat.

[usualsuspect]

I think.OPs studying is a bit more important that doing the dishes.

[YouTheCat]

Usual, I shall continue to do this and live in a nice, stress-free house, where no one gets moaned at and everything gets done eventually.

[usualsuspect]

You and me both ,YouTheCat.

No stress no huffing.The dishes can wait.

[confusedtiredandhormonal]

usual and You, thanks for supporting me! I think my problem is that I really don't mind helping out and I usually do my fair share of chores but it just made no sense to interrupt my work/concentration!

[Topseyt]

I have to do the dishwasher myself here in a minute. It has finished now and the teens have made themselves scarce. Damn.

I did make exceptions when my daughter was studying for her A Levels and AS Levels because the coursework and revision were pretty demanding. She had to do her share after she had finished during the summer though.

[totallydone]

YANBU--next time you are feeling a bit peckish just call downstairs to your DM to bring the fruit up yo you.

[cjel]

she wasn't studying though, she was taking a break by going down for fruit (not a glass of milk and homemade cookie?)

[noddyholder]

I agree usual. My son is at uni now He didn't do half the things MN deems necessary to produce a responsible young adult from a teenager. I did loads of his washing cooking etc. He did some house work but hardly any I let him eat things he liked (within reason) and never insisted on anything. He is fine! He eats veg works hard is clean and seems happy and well adjusted!

[YouTheCat]

As you usually do get on with chores and it is clear you are studying, I'd definitely have cut you some slack over a few dishes.

It seems most people won't though.

[littlewhitebag]

But OP you already interrupted your work/concentration when you came down to get fruit.

[SPsTwerkingNineToFive]

I'm in my 20s and hate doing the dishwasher.

I feel your pain!

[confusedtiredandhormonal]

Good plan totally! I do see where she's coming for though. She and DF have been at work from 12 to 5.

[usualsuspect]

Hahaha,totally.

Or text her to bring it up.

[confusedtiredandhormonal]

littlewhitebag I was going straight back upstairs again.

[thehorridestmumintheworld]

Yabu to ask this question to a bunch of mums- now go and clean your room!