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AIBU?

I'm a teen. Am I BU or my mum?

112 replies

confusedtiredandhormonal · 06/10/2013 18:00

I'm 16 and I started AS levels this year.

I've been working all day and I just popped downstairs for a piece of fruit. On my way back up my mum stopped me and asked me to unload the dishwasher and then load the dishes in the sink, knowing full well that I've still got work to do.

Was she BU to have made me done it there and then or should she have let me finish my work and then do it?

OP posts:

Report

confusedtiredandhormonal · 06/10/2013 20:10

Imperial, you're being very judgemental. I haven't cooked dinner because tonight's take away night. I loaded the dishwasher and started it at 4:30. She asked me to empty it an hour after she got home.

Don't act like I've been a terrible daughter when you don't know anything about what's going on. There's absolutely no need to be so harsh about it.

You also speak as though I never do any work around the house, yet I always keep a tidy room, set and clear the table, make my packed lunches and wash up most nights.

OP posts:

zoobaby · 06/10/2013 20:18

Maybe your mum suspects you're not devoting your full attention to study right now. Like perhaps you're oh, say, posting on chat forums?

Salmotrutta · 06/10/2013 20:29

Hmm.

Is this a reverse AIBU?

Thants · 06/10/2013 20:31

Confusedandhormonal please don't take what some of these posters have said to heart. They have been incredibly unfair on you. I worry for how they treat/talk to their own children. From what you have said you study and do regular chores so there is no problem . Please don't feel you are a bad daughter. You should be able to post on mumsnet without people being rude to you, it's meant to be a parenting site!

Goldmandra · 06/10/2013 21:04

You are very articulate and mature, OP. if this isn't a reverse AIBU you're clearly going to do well for yourself and, whatever your feelings about the dishwasher, your mum must be very proud of you.

marriedinwhiteisbackz · 06/10/2013 21:38

I didn't do chores when I lived at home and when I left was perfectly able to live in a spotless room/flat/house. That's what I was used to.

My DC are 18 and 15. They only have to make sure their stuff is in their rooms not strewn around the house. When they have exams I look after them - make sure they are OK, cook their favorite dinners, buy them - well dd at least fentiman's rose lemonade.

Being cared for never hurt me and I hope it won't hurt my DC. They have their whole lives ahead of them to do chores - right now I want them to work hard and play hard.

YANBU - good luck with your exams

BlackeyedSusan · 06/10/2013 21:47

I wwould have let you finish your work first. I would have expected you to do it later though. duing exam time i would expect to let you study more but help out more at slack times and in the holidays.

now any of you who show this to dd in 10 years time...

TheCharWoman · 06/10/2013 21:56

The day before my last ever A'level exam my Dad called me down to wash up the breakfast things. My Dad was between jobs at the time and my older sibling was home from uni, but it was MY turn apparently. I sulked and cried (was very stressed) and they laughed at me whilst I cleaned feeling like a proper Cinderella!

I still got my 3As though! (But 15 years on I'm afraid I do still bring it up from time to time)

moldingsunbeams · 06/10/2013 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrightRider · 06/10/2013 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tikkamasala · 06/10/2013 22:39

Charwoman I'm gobsmacked that you would still remember and be bothered by that 15 years later - and I thought I was a sensitive person who found it hard to let go of things

mrsjay · 06/10/2013 22:44

did your mum make the dinner and you ate that dinner just do it your time isn't any more important than your mums a 5 minutes helping out at home never killed anybody and a break from the books does you good

Coupon · 06/10/2013 22:49

I wondered that too Salmotrutta

NoComet · 06/10/2013 22:52

Goodness me, I was teasing not troll hunting or a cussing the OP of lying, some one is insanely trigger happy tonight.

I have a 12 and a 15y DD, DD2 never does anything without arguing and DD1 gives me a real hard stare then does as she's asked.

NoComet · 06/10/2013 22:58

The OP got the joke, MNHQ need more wine.

Alisvolatpropiis · 06/10/2013 23:08

Yanbu.

Your mum appears to have picked the wrong battle in this instance.

Alisvolatpropiis · 06/10/2013 23:10

Also, the OP does seem to be very articulate for 16. As does my brother who is a year older. I recall speaking and writing in a similar manner at the same age. I'd be surprised if it were a reverse considering mum is not being painted as a particularly sympathetic person.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 06/10/2013 23:16

If you've genuinely been working all day then I think YANBU and you mum should leave you to get on with your study. If you've been faffing about and that's why you're not finished then doing a (fairly quick) chore is fair enough...

PresidentServalan · 06/10/2013 23:17

Looks like a reverse AIBU. However if not YABvvvvU - you are not a child and when you are working you will find that you have to fit small jobs around large jobs - if you were to behave like that in a place of work, it wouldn't go down too well.

Retroformica · 06/10/2013 23:49

I can see that you were busy. Can you sit down with your mum and work some kind of rota out that you are happy with. Agree that you will do chores in between your work topics when you need a leg stretch

HicDraconis · 07/10/2013 01:27

I'm surprised by the responses here! When I was studying (GCSEs & A levels then) I was exempt from all household chores. Not that I did much before really, but I did help clear up / wash up on occasion.

I've managed to learn how to prioritise, negotiate and keep a house running while working full time without having to empty a dishwasher in my teens!

When my sons are studying they won't have to cook, clear up or help out at all - and yes, if they text for a cuppa I'll take one up to them. Snacks too (unless they're in their bedrooms). My mother was the same for me (I used to look up and see a cup of tea & bowl of maltesers sitting there without even hearing her come in!) It doesn't mean they'll be lazy or entitled for the rest of their lives, just that I recognise and value the importance of their studies. They're 5&7, I have a long time :)

OP, YANBU. Your mother is.

AnaisHendricks · 07/10/2013 01:45

Your sons text you for a cup of tea?

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AnaisHendricks · 07/10/2013 01:48

Oh, sorry. Temporary humour fail and exhaustion

Very good

HicDraconis · 07/10/2013 01:51

They don't (yet). But I'm sure they will - I often text DH for a tea or coffee when I'm working and don't want stop to get up and make it myself. When they're older, have phones and are studying if they text for tea they'll be brought it.

AnaisHendricks · 07/10/2013 02:04

Even if you're working?

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