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AIBU?

I'm a teen. Am I BU or my mum?

112 replies

confusedtiredandhormonal · 06/10/2013 18:00

I'm 16 and I started AS levels this year.

I've been working all day and I just popped downstairs for a piece of fruit. On my way back up my mum stopped me and asked me to unload the dishwasher and then load the dishes in the sink, knowing full well that I've still got work to do.

Was she BU to have made me done it there and then or should she have let me finish my work and then do it?

OP posts:

Report

OneUp · 07/10/2013 19:09

I don't think YABU. I'm a Mum just starting AS levels (for the second time) and the only time I interrupt my work is if my daughter needs me. It's not the end of the world if the dishwasher isn't unloaded IMMEDIATELY.

usualsuspect · 07/10/2013 17:13

I text my DS to make me tea.

Works both ways in this house.

LimitedEditionLady · 07/10/2013 14:15

Depends how your mum approached it.If she was doing the huffy mum thing and acting like you were just slobbing on your bed doing nothing then she was BU and should appreciate youre working.If she just simply asked you nicely youre BU.

AnaisHendricks · 07/10/2013 11:05

I'm just jealous of the texting. I live in a tiny house and anyone only has to walk a few metres to be heard by anyone else with a slightly raised voice.

And the studies being taken seriously. I was made to do my sister's pre-nursing course essays during my A' levels!

kiriwawa · 07/10/2013 10:25

As for being exonerated from household chores during exam/studying years, that would have meant that none of the teenagers in my house growing up would have had to lift a finger for about 5 years.

kiriwawa · 07/10/2013 10:22

If you get up and go downstairs to get a piece of fruit, then you've already broken your concentration.

Perhaps you should have done it during the day at your convenience, given your parents were at work?

pictish · 07/10/2013 10:13

I agree with you Nooka.

nooka · 07/10/2013 08:09

I'm not seeing any 'harsh comments' in this thread at all. Weird. Emptying the dishwasher really really is not a big deal, just a part of living in a household surely? The OP has only just started her AS levels so is not taking exams tomorrow or anything, so I am really struggling to see why people (not the OP) think she needs to be fussed over by the adults in the household who were themselves working.

Negotiation is no bad thing and who knows if the OP or her mum were in the right or wrong as it's all about how the request was made and other circumstances but really if my children ever ever imagined that they could send me a text for tea they would get told very swiftly that was totally and utterly unacceptable. Just because you've got a bit of homework doesn't mean everyone else should run around and skivvy for you! (not OP, but some parents here just have very very different values from me - and my parents for that matter).

YouTheCat · 07/10/2013 07:46

It's the give and take of family life.

If I've had a tough week my dd will make me a coffee and do a bit of extra housework. If she's got exams/assessments, I'll bring her tea and not nag (too much).

Dp works long hours, so on a Friday I'll have a bath and a coffee ready for him when he gets in so he can relax. He'll do the same for me. I had a crap day on Thursday so he bought me flowers.

Give and take and little expressions of appreciation.

marriedinwhiteisbackz · 07/10/2013 07:39

Eh - we text in the house. Used to have a little phone system but don't need it now . DH often used to give me a buzz to ask me something or for something. It saves an awful lot of shouting and running up and down stairs.

AnaisHendricks · 07/10/2013 02:28

Sounds good to me

HicDraconis · 07/10/2013 02:21

Probably :) or maybe I'll text DH and ask him for a pot for all of us :)

If I'm working we'll be in the same room so they can just ask instead.

AnaisHendricks · 07/10/2013 02:04

Even if you're working?

HicDraconis · 07/10/2013 01:51

They don't (yet). But I'm sure they will - I often text DH for a tea or coffee when I'm working and don't want stop to get up and make it myself. When they're older, have phones and are studying if they text for tea they'll be brought it.

AnaisHendricks · 07/10/2013 01:48

Oh, sorry. Temporary humour fail and exhaustion

Very good

AnaisHendricks · 07/10/2013 01:45

Your sons text you for a cup of tea?

HicDraconis · 07/10/2013 01:27

I'm surprised by the responses here! When I was studying (GCSEs & A levels then) I was exempt from all household chores. Not that I did much before really, but I did help clear up / wash up on occasion.

I've managed to learn how to prioritise, negotiate and keep a house running while working full time without having to empty a dishwasher in my teens!

When my sons are studying they won't have to cook, clear up or help out at all - and yes, if they text for a cuppa I'll take one up to them. Snacks too (unless they're in their bedrooms). My mother was the same for me (I used to look up and see a cup of tea & bowl of maltesers sitting there without even hearing her come in!) It doesn't mean they'll be lazy or entitled for the rest of their lives, just that I recognise and value the importance of their studies. They're 5&7, I have a long time :)

OP, YANBU. Your mother is.

Retroformica · 06/10/2013 23:49

I can see that you were busy. Can you sit down with your mum and work some kind of rota out that you are happy with. Agree that you will do chores in between your work topics when you need a leg stretch

PresidentServalan · 06/10/2013 23:17

Looks like a reverse AIBU. However if not YABvvvvU - you are not a child and when you are working you will find that you have to fit small jobs around large jobs - if you were to behave like that in a place of work, it wouldn't go down too well.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 06/10/2013 23:16

If you've genuinely been working all day then I think YANBU and you mum should leave you to get on with your study. If you've been faffing about and that's why you're not finished then doing a (fairly quick) chore is fair enough...

Alisvolatpropiis · 06/10/2013 23:10

Also, the OP does seem to be very articulate for 16. As does my brother who is a year older. I recall speaking and writing in a similar manner at the same age. I'd be surprised if it were a reverse considering mum is not being painted as a particularly sympathetic person.

Alisvolatpropiis · 06/10/2013 23:08

Yanbu.

Your mum appears to have picked the wrong battle in this instance.

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NoComet · 06/10/2013 22:58

The OP got the joke, MNHQ need more wine.

NoComet · 06/10/2013 22:52

Goodness me, I was teasing not troll hunting or a cussing the OP of lying, some one is insanely trigger happy tonight.

I have a 12 and a 15y DD, DD2 never does anything without arguing and DD1 gives me a real hard stare then does as she's asked.

Coupon · 06/10/2013 22:49

I wondered that too Salmotrutta

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