4 children 4 dads

[fll85]

One of my close friends is expecting her 4th baby. She is getting a lot of stick from other people in our group of friends, and even some strangers, because the 4 children have different dads.

AIBU not to see this as an issue? She is a fab mum to the 3 she has. What business is it of other people and does it matter?

I would judge tbh if she was 27 and had 4 kids by 4 different dads, I'm not sure why it just seems wrong to me. It would seem she didn't get to know the men very well or let much time pass to realise if the relationship was stable enough for a child. I suppose I would be less judgemental if she was in a long term relationship with ds4 dad.

Also if she is a single mum I would wonder how she can afford 4 children.

Im nearly thirty with one child , unplanned. Father legged it as soon as he found out i was pregnant so i am a single parent. However i agree it shows a lack of judgement, as four different fathers is too many. I made a conscious choice that i would not have other children until i was in a committed relationship. i have had relationships since but decided not to have children with them and they have not all been introduced to my dd. Its a choice

OP's friend should not expect people not to judge but they are rude to say it to her face.

Dd was conceived after dp and I were together for 10 weeks (we had known each other 10 years) I was on the pill and last year I had a miscarriage after getting pregnant on the injection so it does happen. I'm just incredibly lucky dp and I are still together and happy.

I wouldn't judge a woman with 4 children by 4 men but I would be curious about what had happend in her life

Quite shocked by this thread. So shes topped up by the state? How many people on this hread get child tax credits

OP why did you start this thread?

My goodness, some vile, narrow-minded, Daily Mail inspired comments (Quint especially). I think I've just had my mumsnet addiction cured from reading this thread. I really don't want to share space with smug people who can be so judgemental about someone they do not know.

I made that comment, SPB, when she was being held up as an example of a "strong, independant woman, who doesn't need a man in her life", and who is in fact providing a fantastic role model for her children by not remaining in abusive relationships.

Selfish, stupid, feckless, her and the succession of men her life. I have no problem judging.

Anyone else think VILE to be the single most overused word on Mn? Fucking everywhere it is.

Just urgh to this thread.

Vile comments.

Vile vile vile.

Fucking vile.

Why are people assuming there is a succession of men?! As far as the threads says its 4 men in 10 years!

That is not a succession!

Just ignore the smug fuckers, SP.

not likely statistically, you're not going to get accidentally knocked up with each one. Possible, but unlikely. Triple it maybe.

no judgement, just talking maths.

I've only got one kid, but I've shagged a damn sight more than 4 blokes - and no, I wasn't particularly sensible, just lucky.

I'm astounded by some of these comments, especially by those posters I have previously admired. Well not any more. At least I know what judgemental fucking bitches to avoid now.

Vile. Vile. Sums up beautifully many posters on here.

Bumpotato, I thought exactly the same re. Daily Mail.
One of my friends from school has 5 dc by 3 fathers, none of whom is around (but all active in the dc's lives). She is a bloody fabulous Mother, her dc are all growing up to be wonderful people.

Amen to that, LtEveDallas.

I'd never give someone I knew stick about 4 kids by 4 dads but privately, behind closed doors I would judge.

lilola where is the like button when I need it?

Easy lay?

Jesus fucking christ.

I wish I hadn't read this thread.

Haha lilola, you took the words right out of my mouth. Quint please come back and enlighten us with more of your wisdom. I'm starting to think I dreamt up your posts from some awful 1950s provincial thinking era

Oh I was a ridiculously easy lay after my divorce usual . A Saturday night was a bust if it didn't involve loads of rampant shagging. You know what, I don't care - sex is to be enjoyed and by Christ did I enjoy it!

I hope OPs friend enjoyed every last second of her 4 blokes and I hope that all the judgemental cows on this thread have only slept with the father of their children (only the one, of course)