To be somewhat surprised by this attitude to breastfeeding?

[Sarah2506]

So we are out walking in the Lake District. We planned a walk so that we would get to a village with a tea room around the time baby would need a feed. Which we did, just as it started to rain. The tearoom was closed for refurbishment. This wasn't on its web page. There was a shop there which sold tea and coffee staffed by a young woman. I asked for two teas and asked about feeding the baby. There was a chair in the corner. I asked if I could use it as it was raining. She said no. I asked where I could sit and she told me there was a bench outside and that I could feed her there. I politely pointed out that it was raining and she told me that 'I couldn't do that sort of thing in here'.

This really upset me but I didn't say anything. It luckily stopped raining so I did go outside. I have been thinking of indigent replies the rest of the day.

AIBU? Was it out of order for me to ask to use the chair? I don't want to sound all entitled and I wouldn't exactly ask to use a chair in the corner of tesco but this just felt different and not an unreasonable request as their website hadn't been updated.

You were not out of order.

It sounds quite an old -fashioned place though, I'm not surprised they didn't let you.

One of those things IMO. It would have been a waste of time trying to say anything convincing to allow it. :)

She committed a crime.

Was it a cafe type place or were the teas to take away?

If it was a sit in a drink place, I wouldn't have even asked, just gone ahead and fed.

However, if it was take away tea, I don't think they were bu saying you couldn't sit in the shop to feed.

Did the village have a church? Church porches in the rain make ok places for a feed.

Of course ywnbu

And I would have asked for a chair in the corner of tesco. Luckily I always found people v helpful when I was feeding my dds

I'm a believer that you should be able to breastfeed anywhere (discreetly). YANBU. Why should mothers be banished to a BENCH ... OUTSIDE ... IN THE RAIN!? Disgraceful

Maybe she could have decided the chair wasn't for customers to use but she can't kick you out for breastfeeding! I'd have sat on the chair without asking tbh, you have a legal right to feed your baby wherever you want.

YWNBU and to be honest I think that breastfeeding is pretty irrelevant. I would think that it was unreasonable that anyone was asked to bf or ff their baby outside in the rain rather than taking a few minutes to sit inside and do it.

I think she should have let you use the chair and her comment about 'couldn't do that kind of thing in here' was rude. However if the tea room was closed and only allowed customers (regardless of feeding babies) to sit outside, then she was not acting unlawfully afaik.

Yanbu, it probably wouldn't have occurred to me to ask I'd just have done it anyway.

Oh and once I did just plonk my arse down on a random chair in the middle of the George section in Asda and feed - nobody batted an eyelid!

I'm so glad I'm past all this now. It would never have occurred to me to ask in the first place. I've probably received many horrified stares in my bf past but luckily I've never noticed.

Put it down to experience op and accept some people are twunts.

Big supermarkets have always helped me when I used to ask with dd1. It's not always been the best spot or anything, but the attitude has been kind and supportive which for me counts for more. I'm afraid I pretty much don't ask permission these days. It's not that I'm a militant breast feeder or anything, just that I'm so used to it that I just sit down and do it. Only if I could also bottle feed appropriately there too.

Cluffyflump - what was the chair for then, if they didn't allow customers to sit down in the shop?

If your baby is under 6 months then Sockreturningpixie is right, she is legally not allowed to ask you to leave. If your baby is over 6 months then she's technically in breach of something else to do with sexual equality, doesn't have as much weight, but still not on.

Don't ask next time. People are less likely to ask you to stop, than to say no if you ask. Your baby is perfectly entitled to eat wherever you are allowed to take him/her. (Swimming pool arguments notwithstanding!)

The fact she gave the reason for you having to go outside as being you "couldn't do that sort of thing in here" makes it illegal, I think.

Banished by another woman, says it all really. Women really are their own worst enemies sometimes.

I never even think to ask, I just do it! Luckily no-one has banished me yet but I already have my answer prepared if they even look at me funny!

I have breastfed on a chair in a supermarket too :) And in a shoe shop, on one of the benches where you sit when trying on shoes/if you are a bored, trailing husband.

I agree what was the chair for if it wasn't for sitting on? It's the wording that gives it away "You're not allowed to do that sort of thing in here!"

What sort of thing? Feed a baby?

Oh yes, never ask, never explain. Just go ahead. I bf in all sorts of pales and in front of all sorts of people and no one ever had (openly) a problem with it. My ex MIL did but she is a whole other thread and probably the reason why I sti bf 4 year old DS.

And I didn't buy ANY shoes in the shoe shop either

Honestly though, it's fine. Breastfeed wherever you like, and don't ask first.

If I'd paid for a drink I would have sat down without asking and just got on with it. You have a legal right to feed your baby wherever you want.
Was she a young girl? Did she look likely to have any baby experience?
She was unkind and ignorant at the very least.

That's actually really sad, I can't believe that somebody would expect you to sit and feed your baby in the rain

Yanbu, like a few of the other posters, I wouldn't have asked and would probably have just gone ahead and done it. Some people really do have funny attitudes to breastfeeding!
If she said no because the tea room was closed, I think it was unreasonable for her to make the comment. If that wasn't the reason, then the law's on your side

It's against the law to discrimnate against a breastfeeding mother of an infant under 12mths. If the bench inside was for public use then you can throw the book at them!

Did you still take the teas?

I would have done the Miss World direct look (right through 'em) and big smile and said, "i'll have the teas here, im just going to feed the baby. Alright?"

No argument necessary.

It was basically just a village shop. One tiny room with a coffee machine in the corner. The chair was there against the wall I guess for another staff member or similar. So it would have felt a little weird just helping myself in that kind of environment if you see what I mean. If there hadn't been a chair I wouldn't have asked her to find me one and just gone outside regardless. It was just because there was I thought it might be ok...