To be somewhat surprised by this attitude to breastfeeding?

[Sarah2506]

So we are out walking in the Lake District. We planned a walk so that we would get to a village with a tea room around the time baby would need a feed. Which we did, just as it started to rain. The tearoom was closed for refurbishment. This wasn't on its web page. There was a shop there which sold tea and coffee staffed by a young woman. I asked for two teas and asked about feeding the baby. There was a chair in the corner. I asked if I could use it as it was raining. She said no. I asked where I could sit and she told me there was a bench outside and that I could feed her there. I politely pointed out that it was raining and she told me that 'I couldn't do that sort of thing in here'.

This really upset me but I didn't say anything. It luckily stopped raining so I did go outside. I have been thinking of indigent replies the rest of the day.

AIBU? Was it out of order for me to ask to use the chair? I don't want to sound all entitled and I wouldn't exactly ask to use a chair in the corner of tesco but this just felt different and not an unreasonable request as their website hadn't been updated.

Getting off the point a bit, I was in IKEA in Singapore when it was newly opened with my tiny baby. He got hungry so I sat down to feed him in the sofa section (formula, as adopted), getting odd looks from some of the customers. The manager appeared, and I thought he was going to tell me the sofas were for looking at, not feeding, but instead he told me they were going to open a feeding room and would I mind testing out a few chairs to tell him which were most comfortable for feeding.

A bit off topic, but while waiting to pick up a prescription at the supermarket yesterday, I sat down by the shoe section (closest available seating) to feed DS2 (11 weeks). A nearby shop assistant said "there's a chair in the toilets where you can do that".

Now, the assistant seemed a little nervous, stumbling over the words slightly, so I chose to believe it was just a clumsy attempt to pass on information. I slapped on a big smile, and said "thanks, but I'm fine here".

What I really wish I had said though is that the toilet is not an appropriate place to suggest a baby should eat. I didn't say anything as a) I have a rotten ear infection and didn't feel like making any sort of conversation, and b) I didn't want the assistant to feel bad!

Now I wish I had said something so that in the future some mother who is not confident breastfeeding in public doesn't find herself being 'helped' into the toilet, or perhaps feeling less confident about breastfeeding while out and about :(

If Fred blogs down the road would have been allowed to sit on the chair whilst he waited out the rain then there is no reason why the op also shouldn't have been able to.

It didn't sound like Fred blogs would be allowed to sit on the chair, the chair didn't sound like it was for customer use.

I don't understand why op asked to breastfeed instead of just asking to use the chair. It is not ok for anyone to tell a woman they are not allowed to breastfeed but I think the shopkeeper said op wasn't allowed to sit on a chair not for public use not that she wasn't allowed to breastfeed.

No she said "you can't do that sort of thing in here"

If the shop assistant meant sitting and sitting is a frowned apon activity why have a chair?

Why keep that chair in the customer area as opposed to behind the counter. If you have a chair on a shop floor in an area where customers are expected to be then the occasional customer is going to want to sit in it.

Thank you everyone! I think that I'm going to interpret her comment as meaning you can't sit down in here, it's a shop, rather than a comment about breastfeeding in particular. Though next time I will sit myself down, crack on, and say 'oh thank goodness you have a chair here, thanks very much'. Was thinking about this last night; I grew up with no exposure to BFing whatsoever. No siblings, no young cousins. I remember being horrified the first time I saw a woman BFing because it was just so out the ordinary. But saying that I did get over it by the time I was a teenager. She may have been a bit ignorant and just not understood that baby needed food and I needed to sit to administer it.

Will be BFing in the comfort of my own cottage today as its pissing it down.

Yes I would have asked if I could use the chair (as it sounds like it was unclear whether the chair was for staff use or customer use) so I think it would be the done thing to ask permission to use the chair. Having given permission to use the chair, then it would be unlawful to say you can't breastfeed in here.
So I think you were right OP to ask to use the chair, you just shouldn't have mentioned any kind of feeding!
I'm still Bfing my 3yr old, although not in public for a while now. I've fed everywhere, nobody has ever said anythign negative to me. Once I BF on the floor in House of Fraser down a toy isle when my older DC simply refused to move away from the toy he was looking at!

She obviously wanted something in return for the outrageous request for a chair to feed a child on. Maybe the tearoom was running low on milk and she wanted a pint of your own finest!

On a serious note I'm shocked that this situation still occurs. It's easy for us to say what we would have done in this situation but faced with reality I'm sure I'd feel humiliated and shy.

I am not sure why people are surprised at the reaction as the assistant was female though - I would have thought that kind of bizarre reaction would be just as likely from a woman as from a man? Particularly if the woman has never had children/BF.