AIBU to hate charity Christmas shoe boxes?

[unlucky83]

We get asked to one from the school and from Sunday school ...2 Dcs that is 4 of them...last year I cut it down to 2 - doing the same this year
I really really really hate doing them...but DDs are upset if we don't ...
(at school they have an assembly where the people organising it talk to the DCs about them)...
We wander round the shops/supermarket making sure we get all the essentials on the list - buying the cheapest stuff there is ...kind of think hats/gloves/underwear are probably made by the people we send them back to..
I know I'm not on my own - everyone I know who does one says they do the same ...
Even then each box costs at least £30 ...could the money not be better spent directly by the charity buying good quality stuff that is going to last?
On the lists they say extras - like PJs - how the hell do you fit a pair of PJs for a teenager in a shoe box with all the other stuff...I find I can never fit much 'extra' in...usually just sweets as treats - good job they get toothpaste and toothbrushes or they'd have rotten teeth to add to their misery..

Then you have to find a box...then wrap the bloody things...
I just find it really difficult to wrap the box and lid separately and not get an end result that looks like it has been chewed by the dog...just spent the best part of 30 mins wrapping one that looks like a 2 yr old did it...

So am I being unreasonable to hate them and dread the leaflets coming home?

Exexpat and ravenAK, thanks for the links - interesting reading. I do them every year, each of my children do one for a child of the same age/gender. We write to the child and enclose pictures/photos. I do it just to get my kids thinking and to try and develop a social conscience. I'm not religious and it's always been at the back of my mind that it's a bit 'iffy' to be handing these over to traumatised children with the 'Jesus loves you message'.

I shall do them again this year, but perhaps look into it more thoroughly next year. We also buy gifts for UK children through a local charity, does anyone know if they're any concerns with those schemes?

YANBU. I'd rather just send money to a charity as it saves a couple of hours going round the shops.

I didn't do them for the past 2 years and my 2 DD's complained at first but we donate to McMillan
Charity and to a food shelter here in London 3-4 times a year when they do colections at our local Asda.
My DD's are 9 and 10 yrs old so they understand that we give but to our chosen charities which are very close to my heart.
Another thing- £30 per box! Really?
My boxes were always £5 per box and not some expensive items. On the paper should say about things like. - soaps, pencills, rubbers, gloves.... You can buy bunch cheap but still good and divide them.
Don't do things if they are not done with love and meaning, please.

OP - sorry if your thread now turns into another OCC bunfight (this is last week's thread - maybe people should adjourn over there?) - it's just that they are the biggest shoebox scheme, with a very controversial reputation, and they are just firing up their annual campaign at the moment, so I assumed you were probably talking about their scheme.

To get back to your question - I am sure you can fill the boxes more cheaply (bulk-buy, use Ebay, knit your own etc) - but I still think that shoebox schemes are a very inefficient form of charitable giving.

For a start, 20 per cent of everything you spend on stuff to go in a shoebox goes straight back to the government in VAT, but if you donated money to a charity instead, they could reclaim gift aid and actually increase the value of your donation. And charities can spend the money in the target country, therefore supporting local industry, handicrafts, agriculture etc, rather than sending out a load of made-in-China stuff that has already been shipped halfway round the world once already.

YANBU for not liking them personally. It's a personal issue.

I love making them up and looking for whatever kids might enjoy that can be squashed in there, it's something not uniform or the same for every child. Several family members do it and we do try to do it as if we were buying for any child in the family. A year or so ago there were a lot of comments by the charity about children in hospitals for months on end, desperate for things possible to do in bed. I'd far rather give items that a child will get some comfort, pleasure and spoiling out of than stick coins in a box. Actually I'll do that too, but a few dinosaurs and cars and tennis balls certainly aren't going to end up paying for some administrators' salary.

As far as religion goes - I'm not sure many of the children will worry about being patronised.

I wouldn't care about the 'faff' as I enjoy stuff like that anyway but I really don't think I could afford £120 on it! After I paid all my bills, rent and food shop plus nappies & milk for my littlest child I have about £25 to spare which I'm currently saving for my children's christmas presents when I can if we don't need anything else urgently! I know it sounds quite horrible like I'm saying 'it's not my problem' but I see it as it's my responsibility to look after my own children before anything else and give them the best I can possibly give them. I would be keen to give to charity when I'm older and my children have left home, like my parents do.

I don't think you are being unreasonable. I think it's unfair to guilt the parents into doing things that they may not be able to afford to do by going through the children.

Thanks exexpat. Informative thread.

The other thing about Operation Christmas Child/Samaritan's Purse is that they don't necessarily give the boxes to impoverished children -- I remember a thread a few years ago from a baffled Mumsnetter who lived in Eastern Europe whose DC had been given an OCC shoebox at his terribly naice private nursery. So even if you don't mind their religious agenda there's every chance that you aren't "sending a sodding box of low cost items to impoverished kids".

Thanks for the link to the other thread exexpat, I will be reading through that.

We did these when I was a kid and it was just decent second hand 'pressies' there were suggestions like hats and gloves but the point was just to give a child something to open at Xmas. If its necessities (sp) then surely a fundraiser eg muftie day would be better so as has already been suggested bulk buying could happen.

I'm not ok with religious propaganda being hurled at vulnerable people- surely being a 'good' Christian *insert whatever religion means being selfless- no motive like recruiting would be needed?

Also at £30 per box so £120 for OP I would suggest you donate that money elsewhere far better spent feeding or educating someone surely?

Wouldn't it be good if I could use grammar correctly!

I bloody hate them as they always tuck a Christian book in, and there is no option to say no. So the kids get the message that only Christians care about them. I donate direct. Every Christmas i say we have to give 25% of what we spend on ourselves to charity and the DC go online and do the deed before i will even consider lists of stuff they want for themselves. We probably work the figure out wrong but it's a start.

I won't say what I've heard, but it's not something I want to be involved with. I tend to shy away from any big charities now. I donate directly instead. For the last three years I've donated to my local women's shelter.

I used to do them but read about some of the downsides of them ie what happens when the toothpaste runs out, them not always ending up with a child in need (someone on here said their child's private and expensive nursery got given them) and sending things effects local trade. In the end I stopped doing them and am doing a children's home sponsor thing

If you're looking for an alternative to OCC then I can heartily recommend Link to Hope (formerly Link Romania). Their boxes are for families or elderly people so you can add a wider range of things, you can wrap them up completely so no faffing with doing the lid separately and they don't add any literature at all.

They are a broadly Christian charity but they are very specific that the boxes are not to be used for evangelism.

I live in E Europe and we distribute boxes for Link to Hope so obviously I have a slightly vested interest! I do understand the criticism that it might be more cost effective to purchase things here, but there is something very special for people here to feel that they are receiving a gift which someone a long way away who doesn't know them has prepared for them. OK so the toothpaste might not last all year but it will last a good while, and you'd be amazed at how many people are now still eeking out the shampoo they received last year.

If you don't like doing them, then don't and do your charitable giving a different way, but they are appreciated (where I am anyway) and they can be a good way of getting children involved in a tangible form of giving and thinking about other people.

Where are you shopping - Harrods?
I agree with exepat there are a lot of other charities out there doing worthwhile stuff. In our little town there is an older man who spends his time gathering up donations then twice a year visits Romania and takes it to an orphanage (yes they still have them and they are still hugely underfunded and under resourced)
Our sixth form did shoeboxes last year-when the teacher organising it left they were all found in his storeroom-fuckin livid.

I remember they done this when I was at school.
I don't know what they ask for but it might be worth going to local oxfam o and buying supplies there.
They get new over stock/last season stuff from marks and spencer now and again.like hats scarves,school shirts,shoes etc
And oxfam flog their own stationary stuff for dead cheap at times as the stock room is full of it.
Think cancer research get stuff from tesco as well.
Worth looking in any charity shop to see what they have.
I wouldn't recommend heart foundation though overpriced and they have targets/set prices so no real savings to be had there.

Do teachers/school actually look in the box?
Maybe divide a multi pack of stationary between you dc shoe boxes.

YANBU. I used to love doing the shoeboxes, gave me a warm fuzzy feeling of self-righteous smugness.

Then I calculated each box was costing me £30 (I refuse to fill a box with cheap tat from Primark, why exploit child labour in one part of the world to give a child in another part of the word a "treat"?)

Rather than giving profits to Primark's shareholders, 20% in VAT to George Osborn, then incurring huge transportation costs shipping the tat back out to poorer countries, it's much more efficient to give the money directly to charity & gift aid it. Charities can make the money go much further, taking advantage of economies of scale of scale in sourcing purchases locally.

This is all aside from the insidious nature of OCC, which I had no idea until I read about it on mumsnet a few years back. As a result of that thread I did more research, which I shared with the headteacher. Our school now supports the local children's hospice at christmas.

Why do those that do it, but do it cheaply, bother?

If you are unhappy with the religious content ...why tarnish it further with tatty bits from pound land?

Would you want your children to receive it?

I buy my children stuff from Poundland, yes. Their Christmas stockings this year will have been brought to them largely by the words Pound and Land, with an assist from the cheaper end of the MN Christmas Bargains thread.

Maybe its improved in recent years then?

Last time I went it was just a bunch of tat!

I'm on a strict budget also, I buy second hand :)

All these Atheists. Do you stand for anything?? I'm not religious but I don't begrudge giving a disadvantaged child something to look forward to & possibly the highlight of their year or childhood. Geez, get a grip all you ''middle class'' prats who live in a fish bowl with no idea of real hardship or the real world.

If you feel strongly then don't do them. It's v. unreasonable to expect people to pay up to £30 per box so for you that's £120. But it's a nice idea and a lot of people do like doing them and that's fine. But if you don't then you shouldn't be made to feel guilty.