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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to hate charity Christmas shoe boxes?

314 replies

unlucky83 · 30/09/2013 17:55

We get asked to one from the school and from Sunday school ...2 Dcs that is 4 of them...last year I cut it down to 2 - doing the same this year
I really really really hate doing them...but DDs are upset if we don't ...
(at school they have an assembly where the people organising it talk to the DCs about them)...
We wander round the shops/supermarket making sure we get all the essentials on the list - buying the cheapest stuff there is ...kind of think hats/gloves/underwear are probably made by the people we send them back to..
I know I'm not on my own - everyone I know who does one says they do the same ...
Even then each box costs at least £30 ...could the money not be better spent directly by the charity buying good quality stuff that is going to last?
On the lists they say extras - like PJs - how the hell do you fit a pair of PJs for a teenager in a shoe box with all the other stuff...I find I can never fit much 'extra' in...usually just sweets as treats - good job they get toothpaste and toothbrushes or they'd have rotten teeth to add to their misery..

Then you have to find a box...then wrap the bloody things...
I just find it really difficult to wrap the box and lid separately and not get an end result that looks like it has been chewed by the dog...just spent the best part of 30 mins wrapping one that looks like a 2 yr old did it...

So am I being unreasonable to hate them and dread the leaflets coming home?

OP posts:
SuburbanRhonda · 13/10/2013 23:28

You told a gay man that the bible says homosexuality is sin? Are you for real? Shock

gooner1956 · 13/10/2013 23:35

SuburbanRhonda, he told me that God hates homosexuals; I told him that God does not hate the homosexual, He hates the sin. I also quickly told him that even though I was a Christian, I was also a sinner, that my sin and his sin were no different - that any sin separates man from God, and this was why God hates sin. God desires relationship with those He has created and He has made a way, through Jesus. Without Jesus' death at Calvary, without Jesus taking upon Himself the punishment for our sin, we would have no way to the Father. Now, through repentance and faith, we can have relationship with the living God. Amen!

neverputasockinatoaster · 13/10/2013 23:41

Ummm Brian.....

I'm a Christian......

I don't like what the OCC do...... I didn't like it when the Catholic church went out with its missionaries in the past and I don't like it now......

Help? YES. Offer conditional help? Hell NO!

And now I have been sucked back in when I said I was out! Curses.

BTW - I know large numbers of Gay people. Very few of them feel uncomfortable with their lifestyle and those that do feel uncomfortable have been made to feel that way by others telling them they were wrong.

To my mind the best bit of evangelising a Christian can do is to be seen to be quietly 'Christ like'. Letting the Lord shine through because of their actions and NOT by telling everybody about it.

I frequently ask myself WWJD (What would Jesus do?) but I don't need to wear those words on my wrist to let eveyone else know I keep asking that......

And now I am going to my bed.

Coupon · 13/10/2013 23:43

I'll be watching Stephen Fry's programme Out There this week. Monday and Wednesday, BBC2 at 9pm.

SuburbanRhonda · 13/10/2013 23:44

You wrote that you told a gay man that the bible says homosexuality is a sin. Are you now denying that?

And have I read your second post right (something of a stream of consciousness, iykwim)? Did you tell this gay man that everything would be ok provided he repented his gayness?

trockodile · 13/10/2013 23:45

Seriously Brian? You can't see that you are proving the point that homophobic religious beliefs are what damage gay people? Who are you to tell someone that they are a sinner?
Perhaps you could have the humility to admit that you are not God-that you do not know or understand His views-and that based on a few ambiguous verses in the bible which may be mis-translated you could be wrong about this issue-the same way past Christians have misinterpreted slavery/woman's rights/blood transfusions/inter-racial marriage and Apartheid.

Coupon · 13/10/2013 23:45

Not all Christians believe homosexuality is a sin, Brian.

Several LGBT Christian groups in the UK listed here...

gooner1956 · 13/10/2013 23:47

Neverputasockinatoaster just to correct something you said, there is nothing conditional about a child receiving a gift-filled shoebox through Operation Christmas Child, no obligation to take leaflets, no need to sign a 'pledge', no requirement to start discipleship classes. They haven't even got to accept the shoebox gift but they all do, and they are overjoyed! Brian

SuburbanRhonda · 13/10/2013 23:47

He told me on the other thread that he's gone to bed. No stamina, these evangelical Christians Grin

SuburbanRhonda · 13/10/2013 23:48

Brian, you told me you'd gone to bed! That was a lie!

exexpat · 13/10/2013 23:54

"God does not hate the homosexual, He hates the sin."

So if you are gay, your two non-sinful choices would be either to be celibate your entire life, or to try to cure yourself of being gay? And you wonder why the gay men you meet are depressed...

Have you read the article I linked to, by the way? That is the outcome of your sort of thinking.

gooner1956 · 13/10/2013 23:57

I'm going to bed, I have to be up at 5.30am to get to the office for 8.00am. You can read what I have written. I have nothing to add and I will not be drawn into anything further tonight by the massed ranks of Mumsnet posters! Sleep well, Brian

SolidGoldBrass · 14/10/2013 00:12

I manage to persuade more peo0ple every year to boycott the bullshit peddlers of OCC. With a bit of luck this unpleasant bunch of crap-peddlers will soon lose their charitable status and may even be shut down.

And if it's true, as someone upthread was suggesting, that food banks are allowing crap-peddlers to evangelise over the food distribution, that's very worrying. Those dealing with desperate, vulnerable people should be obliged to keep their silly superstitions to themselves - it's an abuse of power to try to push your imaginary friend on someone who has no choice but to listen to you and obey you in order to get food.

ravenAK · 14/10/2013 00:22

Oh dear.

Not your best night's work, Brian.

If I were your line manager, & had read this thread, 8am would not be a happy time.

Since I'm not, I'd like to thank you sincerely for helping us to keep this corrupt organisation out of our schools. Your posts are invaluable.

AliaTheEvilLeaper · 14/10/2013 00:58

it's an abuse of power to try to push your imaginary friend

See, it's posts like THAT that push people the opposite way and make them not listen to what you're trying to say.
I do an OCC gift box every year and have done for the past three or so years.
I don't care if, in appropriate places,giving out Christian leaflets in churches (no shit, Sherlock Hmm happens.
It's a Christian organisation, Of COURSE they're going to give out material in church based distribution centres.
I have no issue with that.
Christmas, for all extent and purposes, is a Christian celebration. (Yes, blah blah it has other roots as well before someone 'starts.')
Although it has to be said if Brian really is an OCC representative (as it's hard to tell as we could say we're anyone on an open forum) then he'd do better shutting the heck up as his gay vitriol is not doing his cause any good.

saladcreamwitheverything · 14/10/2013 02:17

So, mumsnet police, am I allowed to do these bloody boxes or not??

I am confused now because Raven and Brian were on the same side last night and now they're not Sad Confused

If one of you pm me I will send you the money so you can distribute it as you see fit. Failing that, I will not do boxes and buy my DS some Duplo.

Everyone's a winner, whatever you decide xxxxx

trockodile · 14/10/2013 02:31

Salad cream-it is entirely up to you what you should give to. Personally I feel something like this www.goodgifts.org/warm-jumpers.html or this www.goodgifts.org/30-school-dinners.html is probably more helpful, cost efficient and environmentally friendly but it is your choice-and you could always buy the duplo and donate it when your DS is older.
I am not telling anyone what they should do-only asking for transparency from OOC. I do think that schools should properly research the charities they support and manipulate children and parents into donating to without giving them all the facts.

saladcreamwitheverything · 14/10/2013 03:20

Thanks for that Trockodile, I will look at those sites and see what we can do Smile

Far more motivating than being referred to as "salad and her ilks" (take note Surburban) (Shouldn't have told DH though, he's been asking where my "ilks" are all day. Very tiresome Wink)

I try not to post on mumsnet very often as I always end up getting told off

SuburbanRhonda · 14/10/2013 07:27

It's "ilk", salad - there's no plural, but ok, fair point.

It's just that in your post, you seemed to think it was a case of "Why not - it can't do any harm?" and I'd had enough of that on my thread about food banks.

But I appreciate it's a testament to the methodology of OCC that they manage to get people to believe it's all harmless do-gooding, while peddling the scheme in primary schools, FFS.

If they were a political organisation, not a religious one, we'd be up in arms even more than some of us already are Wink.

bryonywhisker · 14/10/2013 07:39

Sod the boxes, donate to your local food bank instead, so a child in your area can go to bed without gnawing hunger to add to their other problems

merrymouse · 14/10/2013 07:49

I am a member of a group that provides services. We all get together and vote every 5 years for who we think should be in charge and how they should spend our money, then every month we give them some money, on a sliding scale, depending on how much we can afford, (and there are other ways of donating too) and the services are allocated according to need.

I have to say the whole thing has gone a bit skewiff recently, but hopefully things will get back on course soon. Just a problem getting competent people to volunteer to run it all really.

alemci · 14/10/2013 08:34

Trocodilo great post, I feel that Steve Chalke was brave to re examine the churches stance and I have read his article. I listened to him speak 20 years' ago at Spring Harvest but can't remember what on:)

OOH is this debate really that relevant to OCC and the work it does abroad? Did Franklin Graham say these things recently on the site and I think they should be removed.

I think though our society is a bit obsessive about sex and peoples sexuality. Perhaps some people want to be celibate or they feel God has called them to be that way. Is sex the be all and end all of everyone's lives.

Remember the evangelical wing of the church is anti sex before marriage as well which I don't agree with. Both my dd's take this line and it makes me unhappy.

SuburbanRhonda · 14/10/2013 08:37

I don't think it is society that is obsessed about what people get up to in bed - it's the church.

They must be the only employer who stipulates that if one of their employees is gay, they are not permitted to engage in a sexual relationship with their partner, or anyone.

EmpressOfThe7WillowsandTaras · 14/10/2013 09:14

I was horrified. I told him that while the Bible clearly states that homosexuality is a sin, I told him that it wasn't the only sin mentioned in the Bible! I told him that I also sinned, that I was no different, that I sinned every day. The only difference between us was that I believed Jesus had paid the price for my sin, that I could repent and receive forgiveness.

So being in a civil partnership with my wife and raising our DD together is no worse than stealing or murdering, and God will forgive me for it?

How very understanding and tolerant. As has been said up thread, Brian, the reason we are more stressed and depressed is that we have to deal with the responses of intolerant members of society.

I take it that you also avoid shellfish, don't wear blended fabrics and avoid menstruating women?

Coupon · 14/10/2013 09:16

I don't think it is society that is obsessed about what people get up to in bed - it's the church.

It's some churches, definitely not all, and some people.