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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off because people keep telling me that my baby is cold.

77 replies

froken · 30/09/2013 10:55

Ds is 9 months old. He hates wearing hats/socks and bibs. I have tried to dress him in tights or babygrows, he gets his feet out of the babygrows and he becomes hysterical when he tries to take the tights off and they get stuck.

Today it is 8 degree. Ds is wearing thermal underwear, clothes and a snow suit designed to be sufficient down to -30. ( if anything I'm worried he is too hot) his little bare feet and hands are visible and he has no hat.

7 people have stopped me and told me I should have socks/a hat.

Why are some people such busybodies? I feel terrible every time someone gives me the my poorbaby is freezing lecture. It makes me feel like we should stay at home but ds loves the groups we go to and gets bored easily at home.

Aibu to tell them to mind their own business?

OP posts:
FannyFifer · 30/09/2013 10:58

What are u going to do about his bare feet when it is actually freezing though, u need to start encouraging to wear socks etc.

Pascha · 30/09/2013 10:59

Oh yes. DS2 is a sock and hat refuser too. Luckily its still quite warm here but I don't know how he is going to like it when it gets a bit colder. He's not even keen on footmuffs on the pushchair.

I've just ordered tights for winter but I have no idea whether he will be ok with them or not.

CoffeeTea103 · 30/09/2013 11:00

When it gets really cold will you be ok with his hands and feet uncovered? People are just concerned. Think you need to worry about what you will do when winter is here rather than what people are saying.

AnyFucker · 30/09/2013 11:02

If different people "keep telling you" then they probably have a point.

BrokenSunglasses · 30/09/2013 11:03

YANBU. You do what you think is right for your baby.

When my ds (now 14) was a baby, he hated socks, and he also hated sitting facing me in his pushchair. There seemed to be a lot of talk at the time about how important parent facing pushchairs were, so I persevered for ages, made myself look like a complete knob with all my singing and inane chatter in an attempt to stop him from whinging as we went down the street. It didn't work, and as soon as I decided to fuck what other people might think, I turned the chair around and had a baby that was happy to sit in the pushchair.

Sometimes you just have to do what you think is best and ignore other people.

If you want to try and keep socks on though, you could use those little leather shoes just for when you're out to keep socks on.

LeaveTheBastid · 30/09/2013 11:03

Well let's be fair, if you walked past a mum pushing a baby down a snowy street with nothing covering their head, hands or feet, you'd probably have a face like a cats bum hole. I know I would. I'd also know that babies sometimes hate things on their feet, but I think it's your responsibility to encourage him to wear them as much as possible, or find clothes he can't wriggle out of. My hands and toes are always freezing in winter and often hurt with the cold even with gloves on, can't imagine how a small baby would feel.

GangstersLoveToDance · 30/09/2013 11:04

If you want complete honesty, I would probably don my judgy knickers at seeing a baby out with bare feet unless in the middle of summer.

Bare hands or head I understand - with the best will ever you can't prevent a 9 month old from pulling off hat or gloves.

You can however buy longer socks that they find more difficult to take off. Or shoes and socks. Or use a cosy toes so that although they may be bare underneath they're not bare to the elements.

Like the pp said, it's not going to be 8 degrees for long. Besides that, pretty soon you'll have a toddler that wants to be out down to stand/toddle. You have to get them used to socks sooner or later.

CiderwithBuda · 30/09/2013 11:05

I had that in Bulgaria when DS was a baby. He refused to wear a hat and an old Bulgarian woman stopped me and told me off. So I put the hat on him. He took it off. I put it on. He took it off. She got the message! Without either of us speaking the other's language. It was quite funny.

Not sure what to advise about how you get your DS used to socks etc though.

mawbroon · 30/09/2013 11:05

DS1 absolutely refused gloves, so I bought a winter coat that was a bit big so that at least his hands were covered by the sleeves.

MrsCakesPremonition · 30/09/2013 11:05

Get a cozytoes thingy for his buggy. Then nobody will be able to see if he has bare feet and he won't be able to kick it off.

I've spoken to several mums of sock/shoe refusniks and the level of vitriol they have experienced from random strangers is peculiar (verging on the demented).

ICameOnTheJitney · 30/09/2013 11:08

Get one of those bags they sit in, in the pram....he can't go about with bare feet now!

iwantanafternoonnap · 30/09/2013 11:08

I am sure that when it is actually fecking freezing he will learn to keep the socks otherwise you'll have to go through a few screaming sessions. Its hardly baltic out there right now and my son is refusing to wear long trousers and takes his jumper off as soon as he gets to nursery. At home he runs around outside in shorts, t-shirt and no shoes and he is not dead yet!!

You can get sock things so that they can't pull the socks off though. I hate wearing socks unless its freezing so he has my sympathies as do you xxxx

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 30/09/2013 11:08

How are his feet not within the snowsuit?

It is difficult but you have to persevere with the socks. What about trousers with feet?

You're in Sweden aren't you? He is going to be really cold if you don't persuade him. Have you tried those moccasin/sock things?

Dobbiesmum · 30/09/2013 11:09

Tights. That's what you need for sock refusers in cold weather! I had one of them and he wore tights under his pants. Anyone who can come up with a sure fire way of keeping a hat on a reluctant head could make a fortune, short of using double sided tape it looks like another year of buying a job lot of cheap hats in this house!
People just worry about children, it seems to be a biological thing. YABabitU to be pissed off as it's generally good with the best of intentions.

livinginwonderland · 30/09/2013 11:13

You'll need to have his feet covered in winter, though. It's fine while it's fairly warm but my feet are getting cold without socks lately, so it can't be fun for a baby. Get one of those covers/bags things that you can put in the buggy so he's inside it, iykwim. That way, he can have bare feet but he's not exposed. Or, socks and shoes that he can't undo or kick off - winter boots, maybe?

TheRobberBride · 30/09/2013 11:16

TBH I think he should have something on his feet. There is no need for a snow suit at 8 degrees (what's wrong with a jacket?) but his feet will be cold if they're bare. He might not like wearing socks but as his parent this is something you will have to be firm about. When there's snow on the ground, you're not honesty going to take him out with nothing on his feet are you?

Iwaswatchingthat · 30/09/2013 11:19

Have you tried 'sock ons'?

My friend found them ace for her sock removing baby.

Original poster
froken · 30/09/2013 11:19

My plan is to hope ds grows out or it and try to to make him hate hats/socks even more by putting tights or hats that he can't pull off on him.

He crawled early and we have wooden floors so he didn't wear socks at home so I think maybe that is partly why he hates them.

I feel his hands/feet regularly and they feel warm. I have constantly warm hands and feet I think he takes after me, I wear sandals until it snows.

We live in a very cold country so our cosytoes is a bit heavy duty for autumn but maybe I need to start using it. People will probably come up and tell me he is too hot instead!

I'm not sure why it is important to have socks
n if he is very warmly dressed and his feet don't actually feel cold.

OP posts:
WestieMamma · 30/09/2013 11:21

How strange. They don't really need socks in their åkpåse. My DS doesn't even have a coat on yet because he's roasting.

Dobbiesmum · 30/09/2013 11:24

We have wooden floors and go barefoot all the time too, mind you we're in the north of England rather than a very cold country! I think the issue is that babies feet and hands can get very cold very quickly, like, within minutes.
I never found Sock-Ons to be particularly useful, DS would keep fratching at them to get them off which is why I bought some plain tights instead. He still goes barefoot now he's much older but he stopped refusing socks fairly quickly when her realised that he was on a hiding to nothing!

redexpat · 30/09/2013 11:24

Mine was the same with socks - always had hot sweaty feet. He grew out of it and I started using dungarees with feet attached.

PiratePanda · 30/09/2013 11:28

Look, my DS was/is a glove and hat refuser and socks fel straight off, but extremities get frost bitten quite quickly and no it's not OK to have them exposed in really cold weather.

Feet: the only thing that works is tights. You just have to put up with the crying. My DS screams blue bloody murder when he has to be in a seatbelt in pram or car, every single time. There's just no option; he has to go in straps and we have to put up with it.

Head: our solution was hooded jackets and coats, sometimes both at once, rather than hats.

Hands: this is the hardest. Instead iof a useless padded suit, try a thick pram footmuff or sleeping bag that zips up to the chest. They can always tuck their hands in if they get cold.

Yes, I'd have a catsbum face too if I saw you out like that, and I have a very wilful child and I'm not a very judgey person generally.

WetGrass · 30/09/2013 11:29

I am a sock refusenik.

Bare feet -> cosy totes does me for all seasons. Now my DC wear shoes, I don't even try to insist on socks.

bundaberg · 30/09/2013 11:29

i had a sock and shoe refuser and tbh i just used to use tights and if he got cross taht was just tough luck!

he's a baby, he doesn;t know why he needs to wear them and is unlikely to suddenly "learn" to want to keep them on.
you're the adult, you make the decisions and if he needs something on his feet then use something he can't get off.

Original poster
froken · 30/09/2013 11:30

The problem with tights is he becomes hysterical, I think he believes someone has stolen his feet, he loves to play with/suck his feet.

I have seen parents be told off on the train for having a crying child "pick your dc up all they need is some love" type comments. I'm not sure what would be a worse "crime" a baby with cold feet or a hysterical baby.

He will wear moccasins but only if he is walking about ( so he doesn't notice his hidden feet) and he will wear a hat if I put it on whilst he is sleeping, maybe I can just leave the hat on all the time!

OP posts: