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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be pissed off because people keep telling me that my baby is cold.

77 replies

froken · 30/09/2013 10:55

Ds is 9 months old. He hates wearing hats/socks and bibs. I have tried to dress him in tights or babygrows, he gets his feet out of the babygrows and he becomes hysterical when he tries to take the tights off and they get stuck.

Today it is 8 degree. Ds is wearing thermal underwear, clothes and a snow suit designed to be sufficient down to -30. ( if anything I'm worried he is too hot) his little bare feet and hands are visible and he has no hat.

7 people have stopped me and told me I should have socks/a hat.

Why are some people such busybodies? I feel terrible every time someone gives me the my poorbaby is freezing lecture. It makes me feel like we should stay at home but ds loves the groups we go to and gets bored easily at home.

Aibu to tell them to mind their own business?

OP posts:

MrsCakesPremonition · 30/09/2013 11:31

I bought sock-ons for my DS. On the first outing he removed and jettisoned one, never to be seen again.

BumgrapesofWrath · 30/09/2013 11:31

YANBU.

I believe that if their feet were cold, they'd cry.

IdaClair · 30/09/2013 11:40

I can't keep track of baby socks. I buy them, they fall off, get taken off, and just lost. I went on the school run this morning and couldn't get a single pair. I have no idea how people keep track of them. DC is 1yo and only just out of wearing sleepsuits/onsies all day with feet in them. But has no shoes as is not big enough to walk. I don't have a pram so there is no way of using a blanket or bag thing to cover DC, and all the snowsuits and coats are way too bulky and warm even for deepest winter, the baby would overheat in those. I think it's going to need to be tights for us.

Dobbiesmum · 30/09/2013 11:41

"I think he believes someone has stolen his feet"
It's DS all over again!! He's 12 yo and still plays with his bloody toes now...
Would he be distracted by brightly coloured ones like these?
www.slugsandsnails.ie
Or something like this if you can find similar for older babies:
www.jojomamanbebe.co.uk/sp+sock-and-wrist-rattle-set-in-baby-toys+b6557
Failing that I think you might have to just hope that the hysterics subside as he gets used to it.

vj32 · 30/09/2013 11:41

Last Jan DS was 19 months. He wouldn't keep socks or shoes on unless he was actually walking at the time. So I bought a cosy toes for the pushchair. I think we used it two or three times before he managed to rip it - along where the zip was because of all his kicking to get it off.

So yes, last year when there was about 5 inches of snow on the ground DS was out for about five minutes without any shoes or socks on. And quite a few more times that winter when it wasn't snowing. If his feet actually got cold, he would tolerate socks. But until then, he thought the process of removing them and me putting them back on was a fun game to play. So I stopped playing. His feet did sometimes get cold, but he worked out what socks were for!

Not sure I would do that with a younger child, but yes I got tired of the tutting and the comments.

FrigginRexManningDay · 30/09/2013 11:48

I used to put dds tights on ds as he would take off any type of socks. At first he was a bit frustrated by not being able to take them off but he quickly got used to them when he realised I wasn't going to take them off.

SmokedMackerel · 30/09/2013 11:48

I don't live in the UK - I find here people are much more likely to say something, tell strangers off, grab a child's feet to see if they are cold etc. I don't think anyone would say anything in the UK.

I would just put the foot warmer on the buggy, and he can have bare legs inside - I'd go for a footwarmer over a snowsuit any day. Dd used to often kick off her socks inside hers, but she was always nice and warm, and nobody could see her feet, so I didn't get any hassle.

MollyBear · 30/09/2013 11:52

It can be really hard, and soul destroying when you are judged so harshly for just doing your best. As far as I can see, you are trying to think of a solution.

My dd was the same. Never tolerated anything at all on her feet, and would not have them covered in any way. No socks, even with sock-ons or pram shoes. Blankets were kicked off. Cosy toes were wriggled out of, or she would put her feet up on the bumper bar in the rain/snow/cold.

I cried more than once coming home from shopping, having been told off by various others shoppers for not looking after my baby properly. She had warm clothes, the best of everything, but would not wear foot coverings or gloves. The lowest point was when I had to keep brushing the snow off her feet (out on top of the bumper bar again), whilst getting death stares from everyone around me. It was horrible, and the only solution was to not go out (not always possible).

Keep trying, and do your best. It is all you can do.

FWIW, once dd was walking, and had proper shoes, she was happy to keep them (and socks!) on.

Igloofornow · 30/09/2013 11:56

I think if he is 'refusing' and 'bored at home' at 9 months you are going to have your hands full a spoiled brat if you let him dictate what he wears.

Dobbiesmum · 30/09/2013 12:00

The next time you get comments you could always hand them a pair of socks and tell them to try and get him to keep them on!

Original poster

froken · 30/09/2013 12:02

I am a bit of a wimp about crying, ds hardly ever cries so I am not used to him being upset, having tights on is about the most traumatic thing that has happened to him ( he has had worse things happen to him but he didn't cry) maybe I just need to be braver about him crying.

He will wear shoes when walking so maybe I will just get him to walk everywhere when it is snowy.

His relationship with his feet is very cute, he has a growbag at night time and when I release him in the morning he is so happy to see his feet.

I don't think bright/fun socks will help, I think he might be more interested in tge socks.

Maybe I can take him out in his growbag!

OP posts:

labelwriter · 30/09/2013 12:03

www.raindrops.co.uk/Catalogue/Childrens-Footwear/Baby-Booties/AB-320021-Polar-Paws we used these and were a life saver. DD1 hated socks!

Original poster

froken · 30/09/2013 12:03

He will wear shoes when walking so maybe I will just get him to walk everywhere when it is snowy.

His relationship with his feet is very cute, he has a growbag at night time and when I release him in the morning he is so happy to see his feet.

I don't think bright/fun socks will help, I think he might be more interested in tge socks.

Maybe I can take him out in his growbag!

OP posts:

Dobbiesmum · 30/09/2013 12:06

You can get grobags for 5 point harnesses I think, I'm sure I've seen them around.

AnyFucker · 30/09/2013 12:07

I am a bit of a wimp about crying

There is your problem. If you give in every time he objects to not getting his own way, this is just the start of a very difficult few years, sorry.

Let him cry and tantrum all he likes (has fond memories of dragging a screaming child sitting down on the end of her reins along the aisles at Morrison's).

Sure, I got some "looks" but also some approving ones, particularly from the older generation.

Original poster

froken · 30/09/2013 12:11

labelwriter those look really fantastic! At the moment he just has little leather shoes and they are no good in the rain. I don't think ds will keep them on for long but they will be great for trips to the park!

OP posts:

Igloofornow · 30/09/2013 12:13

Nod and smile. I remember walking around a supermarket at 41+ weeks pregnant, with a 22 month old in a trolley and a 4 year old hanging on to my leg screaming because he couldn't get a magazine, I don't care what others think all that bothers me is that my DC are safe, well and they do as they are told.

This comes from growing up with a terribly spoiled brother, parents gave into everything. He is now a horrible adult. I guess I can be a little tough at times.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 30/09/2013 12:15

Yep I agree with AF. You are setting yourself up for a hideous few years if he gets the idea that he can get his own way just by throwing a bit of a tantrum.

Original poster

froken · 30/09/2013 12:23

I don't think I do give in to everything, ds goes to sleep at 6, if he refuses his dinner he doesn't get another choice. I won't let him take toys from other babies evenif they don't mind.

They are his feet and if he wants them to have no sockson his feet then I don't see why I need to fight with him about it.

It isn't cold enough for gloves and I can't see why feet and hands are so different.

OP posts:

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 30/09/2013 12:25

If you're happy he's warm enough just keep the sock on the hood of the pushchair and wave them at anyone who comments saying "Tell me about it!". They'll leave you alone then. I found the best way to get hats on my two was wear one myself and they see it as normal. Socks are a tricky one though for which the only solution for me was tights but I see you've tried that.

IceBeing · 30/09/2013 12:29

froken you could always ask people how they can tell his feet are cold by looking at them, and invite them to test for themselves whether they actually are or not?

I had a superheated baby. She wanted nothing but nappy on in the summer months and won't really tolerate much in the way of outerwear without over heating even in winter. People are always telling me she is cold...now at least I can ask her and she always says 'no I am warm' which helps diffuse the busy bodies.

Newsflash for busy bodies! ALL BABIES ARE DIFFERENT.

QuintessentialShadows · 30/09/2013 12:31

They have a point froken.

Should not be a problem to find snowsuits with feet for babies. Or tights with feet. Just google ullunderkläder barn/baby, and find places like www.ullklader.se/product.html/strumpbyxa-i-ull?category_id=6 where you can find strumpbyxa for barn.

QuintessentialShadows · 30/09/2013 12:32

They have a point froken.

for the sake of the link

QuintessentialShadows · 30/09/2013 12:32

"They are his feet and if he wants them to have no sockson his feet then I don't see why I need to fight with him about it."

He does not know the link between being cold and not being cold if he is wearing socks, though!

nevergoogle · 30/09/2013 12:36

My mum had to cut the feet off my babygrows when I was a baby.
I screamed and fussed and pulled at my feet until she did.

...and I turned out fine.

Wibble

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