WIBU to move out and take everything

[FarOverTheRainbow]

Bit of background. My OH decided to end out relationship a few days ago. We have 1 DC under 1. I don't want the relationship to end at all, we have our problems and decieded we would give it one last try for each other but a couple of weeks in after telling me he had no intention of ending things he no has. I'm heart broken. We rent a house of his parents and they have said if I stay they will increase the rent to so can't afford to stay so I'm moving out with DD. The tenancy is all in my name. XP has said he is moving in wen I love out so the only things I'm allowed to take is DDs things because he needs the rest. I'm a SAHM mum and he has a good paying job, I think should have most the bigger stuf like fridge, dryer, sofa but he says I have nothing. When we brought anything we both put money into everything and had 1 pit so it was all just "ours" I'm angry I'm being forced out my home with DD and now he says I'm not allowed anything. So WIVU to take it anyway?

Please don't flame me if I am, my heads a mess, I've lost my whole life and now I'm expected to start again from
Nothing while he has everything

I really wouldn't have a verbal agreement with this man that he would pay the rent. Your ex and his family have proved themselves to be utter shits and they are playing some kind of game with you. If you do not pay the amount due then they can tell the council that you have made yourself homeless because of rent arrears. Unless you have a receipt for the rent paid you won't be able to prove that he is supposed to be taking it out of a mythical amount he has 'put away'.

Also, I thought he worked for his parents? How come they are sacking him just as he has to provide for his own child?

I would want the money ff him then I would out the rest to it and pay through my bank

His work always runs out at this time of year it's seasonal

He's not going to give you a bean of that mythical money, he hasn't even saved it.

If you ask, he'll attack you.

I'm glad it's going through the bank, that gives you proof that you are doing the right thing. Keep on trying to speak to someone at the council to get advice. Is there any way that you can start to move your things to your parents house for storage? Moving day is very stressful and if your ex turns up and starts demanding things you could lose them. I would pack away anything sentimental, your photos and all documents and papers and have them put away safely. Keep strong, you are getting there.

I don't think I'm going to get a dime of it either, I have the money to pay the rent but IF he did give me that money and I have to stay here then I would be able to at least change some paint or something just to make it feel like its just mine

I've already started moving things and packing things up and I was hoping that on moving day I would just have the big things to move and the rest would have been done but now I need to put all them plans on hold because I don't know what's happening.

I'm gutted that I might have to be here for another 2 months. I'm ready to move on and it's hard being stuck here in the family home and I feel like I'm under their hold in some way

Not only is the eviction notice invalid, but the owners will possibly get into trouble for having relatives in a buy to let property. As someone said early in the thread, lenders are twitchy about that now. You might find that they don't pursue legal action against you, because the relationship between you could come out. It doesn't matter that their son moved out, their grand-daughter is still there. It's dodgy ground for them.

Keep on at the council, they might find you somewhere quite quickly. Do you know what the social housing situation is like in your area? Is there quite a lot of council housing?

There's a fair few council houses and I'm
Not overly fussed on which part of te city I go to. There's alot of new builds and the council seem to have a good percentage of them I'm not lucky enough to get one

I'm really torn about asking them outright if the notice if valid or just trying to get something off them in writing first to say they have to help me

OP, I don't mean to sound harsh but the council don't 'have to help you'. You have other options.

Even if you get it in writing at this stage, which I doubt you will, they can overturn any decision if they find out additional information further down the line.

Either listen to the advice you gave been given about s21 or rent privately but don't think they'll bend the rules or even just make an exception for you.

Why won't they have to help me?

Yeh I could rent private if my dad helped but that means he would have to work a lot of over time and put himself out and I don't think that's fair. He works hard for what he has and I don't think he should have to out himself out alot to help me rent privately. If this goes to court he's offered to pay that and ten expecting him to help out with rent is just taking the piss IMO. If I didn't have my dad ten what? It would just be tough luck they won't do anything?

It's not like I could just go out and get somewhere rented tomorrow because the bonds they want are huge and that type of money isn't just sitting around

I don't know anything about the contact and relationship situation you find yourself in, so all I can do is send good vibes which you deserve.

Re housing - I think you would find it incredibly helpful to speak to Shelter about this. I have seen anecdotal evidence (so not fact, but sounded plausible) that some councils have even falsified records/failed to record facts in order to dodge responsibility for housing a family.

There aren't many council houses in most places. Even when the council has access to new builds the demand is huge. Most councils scrabble to fulfill their statutory duty of housing the homeless. If they can in any way prove that you contributed to your homelessness then they do not have a legal duty to provide housing, even if you do have a little child. They will put all sorts of obstacles in the way.

If you speak to Shelter they may be able to help you with your rights, how 'safe' the S21 is and what your local authority is like. Some are really foul.

btw your landlord (or anyone connected to them) does not have a right of access to your property without your permission. Some contracts write in that they can come in if they write to you or call you. My understanding (check with Shelter) is that an Act of Parliament allowing you peaceful enjoyment of your home over rides a contract.

Wishing you all the luck in the world.

The point I was trying to make was in response to you saying you were torn over what to do about your eviction notice. The council are not going to agree that they have to help unless you have followed the advice you have been given on here, which is to ensure the notice is correctly served- there is no decision to be made about telling them or not as they will find out in the end and by then it could be too late. Councils dont just have houses to give to everyone who asks- they have to follow procedures and if you don't adhere to those procedures you risk not getting what you want.

The position with your father makes more sense now. You are right, he can't be expected to pay your rent monthly for you. I just got the impression it was the deposit which was a problem and that you could make the monthly payments, with your housing benefits, if necessary.

I think your best bet may be to force your LL to evict you through court.

Who knows, it may result in him or the poison IL paying you to go..

I really think you need to look into the mortgage situation on the property, get as much leverage as possible, call it an insurance policy.

I think your best bet may be to force your LL to evict you through court.

Who knows, it may result in him or the poison IL paying you to go..

I really think you need to look into the mortgage situation on the property, get as much leverage as possible, call it an insurance policy.

I've just re read my post and it makes me sound really snappy an that's not how I ment to sound.

I have every intention of following the right procedures and doing what I should do. I just don't want to be here either I want to move out and now I'm angry that they've given me the wrong notice.

The housing benefit doesn't even completely cover my rent now and for the house I'm in my rent is lower then what it should be. I phoned about a small 2 bed house that looked okay wasnt in a brilliant area but an okay one and it was over £300 more then what I get paid by the council now.

How would I find out about their mortgage? I don't know who it's with

Others will tell you better about the housing. You can download a copy of the deeds from the Land Registry - any one can for any house in the land, if it is registered. If there is a mortgage it is very likely to be registered. Make sure you go to the right site as there are a load out there who will charge you to do this, but you can do this yourself for around a fiver. I think the right site ends with .gov.uk, but could be wrong. The deeds will show charges on the property, and that is what a bank will have for the mortgage.

If your foul connections have a residential mortgage instead of a buy to let mortgage then they are in breach of the conditions of their mortgage and the bank/building society will want to charge them a higher rate of interest.

The hard truth is that the people in the council offices aren't really there to help you. They work for the council and it is in the council's interest to have as few people as possible applying for housing as they are homeless. If you are homeless the council are forced to house you. This can cost them money as if there is no council housing (and there often isn't) then they have to find you emergency housing which can be expensive.

Those in the office will be having appraisals and if they are not being careful and costing the council money by accepting someone as homeless if they could avoid it then they could be penalised.

It is a minefield and one you could do without. That is why I am recommending Shelter as they will be able to give you proper advice. Good luck.

I would seek advice from the FCA (Financial Conduct Authority). www.fca.org.uk/site-info/contact Just tell them what you've told us - you're the only name on the tenancy agreement and it hadn't occurred to you that anything was suspicious until you mentioned it to someone else and there were raised eyebrows.

You could also report her to HRMC, just in case there's anything she hasn't been declaring to the tax man. If she's declared her income, great, shouldn't have a problem. If not... OOPSIE - could be in for a mahoosive bollocking.

I wouldn't waste your time going to the Land Registry tbh - it will tell you there's a mortgage and the lender, but it won't tell you if it's buy to let or residential. If you phone the lender you'll come up against Data Protection Act problems and I think you'll find it hard to find anyone to listen to you.

Contact Shelter today - details on the website england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/how_we_can_help/housing_advice_helpline, the telephone number is 0808 800 4444. They are open now, don't put it off any longer, just call them.

The mortgage thing doesn't achieve anything except a desire for revenge. Revenge doesn't keep you warm and dry. You need to be practical.

Ill have a look for the mortgage this afternoon and see what I can find but if I report them now won't that just get more
Messy while I'm still in the house?

I was kind of hoping to have a few tricks up my sleeve for when it eventually goes to court and then I'd be in a bit of a stronger position ?? Or is that not the right thing to do?

I'm out this morning but will call shelter this afternoon

I agree with the latest posters. It's not really in your interests atm to report mortgage fraud if that is what's happening. If the lender charges higher interest then that amount will simply be passed onto you, won't it? They'll just add it to the rent you have to pay while you're there.

Concentrate on the other things.

Good luck, Far. I'm another who remembers other threads of yours. They are a vile bunch of people. Fight them tooth and nail and get everything official.

Get WA on the case. You are being abused, and the family have been abusing you for a long time. That's why you think a lot of it is nothing - you've normalised so much of it, you're used to it. Until you've had months of peace and actual normal life, your perceptions are a little distorted as to what is reasonable and what is not. So listen to people when they tell you something is not OK. It really isn't OK, even if you're so used to it you don't notice.

Its very very easy to retaliate to his nasty ways however, you are two people that have only recently split and it will be nasty for a bit but may calm down (although I expect you'll still get shit behaviour). I wouldn't report the mortgage fraud because it will bite you in the arse one day and it is just more ammunition for him to throw at you.

Ignore his texts, only communicate via email about your DD and do not retaliate to anything he or his parents say. Keep your head and your dignity held high. You will only continue to be abused if you take on board what he is saying.

Do not do anything that they can use against you i.e. stopping contact, changing locks etc As long as he is bringing your DD back on time then let him have access anything else and you will be seen as obstructive and that won't go down in court well.

Document everything with time, place etc. Times you have offered contact and he has refused. Send him an email of proposed contact times and asking that you both be respectful of each other and do not argue in front of daughter. use a contact diary so that you can write anything down that needs to be said about DD e.g. what she has liked playing with, whether she has been poorly etc. Ask him to write any concerns or any new things daughter has achieved in it. If he refuses, still carry on doing this as this will make you look better in court.

Always, always be there better person and the one allowing contact and good shared parenting. Do not get swept away with his nasty behaviour and lower yourself to his level.

He is the one that has to live with himself about treating you and his daughter this way and at some point in the future he will realise what he has done. He and his family are pretty much out of your life once you move and you will only need to contact them concerning DD. Give him your bank details, he has said he wants them so give them to him he needs your sort code and bank account number. Not giving him these makes you look obstructive because he can now prove via text that he has asked for them but instead of just giving them to him you haven't.

DISENGAGE DISENGAGE DISENGAGE

P.s. this is form speaking from experience but he way I retaliated to every lie, every bit of shite behaviour and it really wasn't worth it just made people think I was the looney and unreasonable person he was saying I was. Stay strong and ignore him and his lies.

Just a quick update. I met him to give him DD and mentioned the rent was due so I need bank details to pay and I asked him about the maintenance he still hasn't got back to me on and he was go smacked and actually said "what you want it" he didn't know what to say to me and said erm erm ill text you so no doubt when he's asked his mummy and daddy what he should say he'll message me

Diary. Put that latest contact in it and that you asked for bank details in order to pay the rent and his reply. If you don't hear, so that you owe rent, it may be OK if you ask the bank to quickly set up another account called 'rent', into which you transfer the money and never touch it otherwise. It would show definitely that you intended to pay it and the money is there.

Hopefully, someone who knows for sure what to do, will be along soon to tell you how to prove you're trying to pay it.