Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be mad at DH for spoiling the evening?

502 replies

TeaJunky · 28/09/2013 00:05

It's been a long week for both of us. Long hours at work for him and me at home with dd1 (4) and dd2 (10 months).

DH rang earlier to say he's taking us out to dinner to our favourite Chinese restaurant which is in a huge shopping mall. I had an exchange to do for dd2's clothes and thought I'd get it sorted while we were there.

DH arrives home and we are all ready, we get to the restaurant in good spirits and DH comments on how we're going to have a nice fun evening after a long hard week. We eat and enjoy the meal. Then we walk into the shopping mall and i tell DH I'd like to do the exchange now to which he agrees.

We go to the shop and I start to look for some clothes I can exchange with and DH starts to look antsy but he's ok. I continue looking, and ask his opinion on a couple of outfits to which he gives helpful answers. I choose some clothes then say, I'm just going to take one last look on that side and then I'm done, and he gets really annoyed. He said, 'this is what you always do. This is what you did on holiday'. Then he sat there with a face on while I looked (for the whole of 2 minutes), and waited outside with dd1 while I did the exchange.

When I came out I was annoyed and he was in a big huff and we argued Hmm

I'm really upset at how impatient he was being. I'd only been in the shop for a maximum of 20 minutes. I'm the one who usually does all the shopping and clothes buying and so what if he had to 'waste' 20 minutes of his precious time while I BOUGHT CLOTHES FOR OUR CHILD.

He said I always try to dominate every situation and that I ruined the plans, and we were supposed to be having family fun time. I asked him what plans and he said 'what's the fucking point in asking now'.

We drove home in silence (with dd1 chattering away to herself in the back) and have both come to bed without talking. Hmm

OP posts:
kali110 · 28/09/2013 13:14

Im no maiden and i love to shop but still think yabu.
It doesnt actually sound like the husband could go elsewhere though as op wanted his opinions on the clothes. It really wasnt a case of quickly exchanging, and by his response it seems like this episode wasnt a one off which was prob why h lost it.
If it was reversed and it was the husband id call him unreasonable aswel.
This morning hes decided not to let the arguement carry on but op hadnt.
Then because most people havent taken her side shes nasty about it.
You dont ask for others opinions especially aibu if you dont want others opinions or if you think you are nbu.

dexter73 · 28/09/2013 13:18

I still want to know what happened when you were on holiday!! Did you spend all week browsing baby clothes?

HaroldLloyd · 28/09/2013 13:20

Hope you have a good day now tea junky.

This thread is really making me want to have a mooch around the shops - without DP making physcopath eyes at me so alone.

I learned to drive at 28 and I also had to get my confidence up in stages I found multi storey car parks a little daunting. I once got my car wedged onto a pillar and had to wait for a friend to come and shift it. Bad times!

charitygirl · 28/09/2013 13:21

All the people saying YABU must have miserable lives not to be able to have fun with their partner for 20mins choosing clothes for their kids after a meal out. What miseries. And no, I don't particularly love malls and shopping.

YANBU

Donkeyok · 28/09/2013 13:23

As you make the bigger move by apologising I hope he brings you flowers
or Ben and Jerrys or sweet words to make up for yesterday's meanness. As he went out happy this morning he's decided to put it behind him. Best not to dwell on such small insignificant things
Lack of sleep does that to all of us.
Don't sweat the small stuff.
At least you are now clear that you will avoid sharing shopping with him.
He isn't ever going to see it as a pleasant pastime.
Save it for your girls friends who like it. I hope you have
great make up sex Smile or ice cream.
Or ice cream I know which one Id rather have Blush

Back2Two · 28/09/2013 13:37

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

stevieb15 · 28/09/2013 13:38

I empathise with you both, but 20 minutes is a lifetime if you thought you'd be doing something better, and seriously couldn't you do it next week when he's working?

TeaJunky · 28/09/2013 13:38

He rang and said bemusedly 'that's very unlike you. I'm actually quite shocked'. ??

I said yes but I forgot the add the condition. Ice cream. Upgraded to fancy ice cream now.

'Done', he said. Grin ...and he wants to take us all out again but he wants dd1 to choose where (beach she said, immediately)..it's times like these that remind me why he's my better half and that I can be damn hard to live with but he makes it look easy most of the time GrinGrin

OP posts:
Back2Two · 28/09/2013 13:39

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

YouTheCat · 28/09/2013 13:39

Glad you're having a happy outcome.

Now don't go and spoil it by dragging the poor sod shopping after the ice cream. Grin

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 28/09/2013 13:40

Going to buck the trend here, but I don't think you WBU at all. I would have done the same. It's practical.

I showed DH your OP and asked who was being unreasonable and he straightaway said that your DH was. So there's a man's POV. His reasons - it saves on petrol, it saves having to go back another day, no harm done. But my DH WOULD definitely have loved to pick out baby clothes Grin

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 28/09/2013 13:41
Grin

Always nice to hear a happy outcome :)

Back2Two · 28/09/2013 13:41

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

Donkeyok · 28/09/2013 13:43

Oh I am so Smile now. Ahhh

SayCoolNowSayWhip · 28/09/2013 13:45

Oh sorry, didn't read your last post.

Glad you're all made up now.

But YANBU Grin

Donkeyok · 28/09/2013 13:46

God I want ice cream now.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 28/09/2013 13:47

Good for sorting it out OP I think you need to get off MN now and get some sleep.

ps. if you are a continually dithery/faffy person, this will be what has annoyed him, not the isolated incident, but all of them added together.

I had a dithery/faffy friend....had.

Hope you can get some rest Smile

Donkeyok · 28/09/2013 14:20

Puds this is so wise. We do forgive but the moment it all goes wrong again
all those annoying incidents join together into one massive one.

Use this insight to redress balance of activities.

BigBoobiedBertha · 28/09/2013 14:23

Ahhhhh. I love a happy ending. Grin

Enjoy your ice cream.

LEMisdisappointed · 28/09/2013 14:25

Awwww what flavour ice cream?

neunundneunzigluftballons · 28/09/2013 14:30

Don't forget the make up sex no point rowing without it.

HorryIsUpduffed · 28/09/2013 14:33

No I didn't mean it, I said it to get the moral high ground - is that what you want to hear, horry?

It's possible to apologise to clear the air, or clean the slate - in fact, it's a fairly grown-up thing to do.

Your posts to that point didn't show any indication that you actually thought you were wrong, so I thought it looked like a major change of heart and wanted to see what had changed your mind.

Glad you're seeing eye to eye now.

Foosyerdoos · 28/09/2013 14:47

I got my car stuck once Harold, I had to get one of the car wash men to unstick it.

OP YWNBU.

TeaJunky · 28/09/2013 15:22

Horry - true. Nah, I was just being deliberately, knowingly arsey.

I knew I was a little bit in the wrong all along Wink

OP posts:
TeaJunky · 28/09/2013 15:24

Someone posted about the languages of love earlier and I wanted to thank them.

It made sense.

So thank you GrinThanks

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread