Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be mad at DH for spoiling the evening?

502 replies

TeaJunky · 28/09/2013 00:05

It's been a long week for both of us. Long hours at work for him and me at home with dd1 (4) and dd2 (10 months).

DH rang earlier to say he's taking us out to dinner to our favourite Chinese restaurant which is in a huge shopping mall. I had an exchange to do for dd2's clothes and thought I'd get it sorted while we were there.

DH arrives home and we are all ready, we get to the restaurant in good spirits and DH comments on how we're going to have a nice fun evening after a long hard week. We eat and enjoy the meal. Then we walk into the shopping mall and i tell DH I'd like to do the exchange now to which he agrees.

We go to the shop and I start to look for some clothes I can exchange with and DH starts to look antsy but he's ok. I continue looking, and ask his opinion on a couple of outfits to which he gives helpful answers. I choose some clothes then say, I'm just going to take one last look on that side and then I'm done, and he gets really annoyed. He said, 'this is what you always do. This is what you did on holiday'. Then he sat there with a face on while I looked (for the whole of 2 minutes), and waited outside with dd1 while I did the exchange.

When I came out I was annoyed and he was in a big huff and we argued Hmm

I'm really upset at how impatient he was being. I'd only been in the shop for a maximum of 20 minutes. I'm the one who usually does all the shopping and clothes buying and so what if he had to 'waste' 20 minutes of his precious time while I BOUGHT CLOTHES FOR OUR CHILD.

He said I always try to dominate every situation and that I ruined the plans, and we were supposed to be having family fun time. I asked him what plans and he said 'what's the fucking point in asking now'.

We drove home in silence (with dd1 chattering away to herself in the back) and have both come to bed without talking. Hmm

OP posts:
OHforDUCKScake · 28/09/2013 10:48

Platinum why do you think the OP suggested to her husband to go to the chinese instead of being honest amd saying she actually wanted to go to town and return an item?

Probably because she knew full well the last thing he would want to do on a friday evening is ferry her to town while she dithered around a store to fuss over clothes deciding what she did and didnt like.

Would that not piss you off? She knew full well (and so did he by the end!) the trip had nothing to do with a 'nice meal out' but everything to do with her wanting her husband to take to return an item and clothes shop.

He has every right to be annoyed.

Who on here wouldnt mind finishing a long hard week at work then being asked to drive your husband or wife to town to go clothes shopping?

And it was clothes shopping. The best thing she could have done was get a refund and chose something else at a better time.

And for the person who suggested he got an ice cream - he did! And afterwards she still wasnt done.

But apparently that pissed the OP off because he didnt offer her an ice cream Hmm

PeachesandStrawberry · 28/09/2013 10:49

Bloody hell.

Have I gone back to the 1950s or something?

He got in a sulk about just spending 20 mins shopping and turned it into a big thing.

If there was a problem on holiday he should have spoken to her about it then.

And as for not getting her an ice cream, pathetic.

OP YANBU

BoundandRebound · 28/09/2013 10:50

20 mins is a really long time when you're waiting

A REALLY long time

GwendolineMaryLacey · 28/09/2013 10:51

Bollocks. This has nothing to do with wage earners or vaginas. If it had been the other way round I would have said exactly the same thing. That's just a rather feeble attempt to gain the upper hand and make it something it isn't. Exchanging takes 3 minutes. Browsing takes 20 and I'd have been massively pissed off if DH had done the same to me at the end of a long week. Especially if he had form for it.

Pigsmummy · 28/09/2013 10:54

I am sorry but the idea of hanging around in a clothes department for 20 minutes would completely ruin the nice buzz of a nice evening for me. Just asked DH and he agreed. YABU

PeachesandStrawberry · 28/09/2013 10:55

Then he should have told her that he was getting impatient instead of blowing up at her. She may have been in the wrong for going shopping, but he was more in the wrong by blowing up.

PigStack · 28/09/2013 10:55

I thought he might even actually enjoy it because he's never been clothes shopping for dd2 , and if I had been him I would have loved to have the chance to do that for once, but obviously he didn't feel that way

My usually very patient dh would have hated to go shopping in a situation like this - despite never having shopped for our 11 year old dd.
YABU.

ArmyDad · 28/09/2013 10:56

It is almost painful shopping with my wife and oldest. So I take the youngest out some where fun where I can get a brew (soft play) after dropping them off at the shops. Then we eat together later on. Seems like a simple solution to me, but then we all need to find our own way about stuff.

You sound like arguing siblings who need a proverbial "knocking heads together"

LEMisdisappointed · 28/09/2013 10:56

20 minutes is not a short time when you have a tired toddler and 4 year old, its actually forever!!!

OHforDUCKScake · 28/09/2013 10:58

I agree, fuck all to do with vaginas and wage earners.

If my partner wanted me to traipse into town after a full on week looking after the kids with the promise of a nice meal but it turned out the real reason was because he wanted to return a TV and spend 20 mins browsing others while I looked after the kids, exhausted and desperate for bed time Id be ver pissed off.

Especially if it turned out the whole reason I had driven him there was. Ot because of a lovely meal. But because he wanted to look at TVs.

TeaJunky · 28/09/2013 10:58

IT.WAS. ONLY. 20.FUCKING.MINUTES.

GrinGrinGrin

To everyone who is slating me.....

Fuck right off! Yes! You...and you ...and you, you know who you are!

WineWineWine

OP posts:
OHforDUCKScake · 28/09/2013 10:58

He did Peaches!

Is no one reading the OP's posts?

OHforDUCKScake · 28/09/2013 10:59

ITS NOT ABOUT THE TIME!!!

TeaJunky · 28/09/2013 11:00

I HAVE REACHED A POINT WHERE I DONT GIVE A FUCK!

OP posts:
OHforDUCKScake · 28/09/2013 11:02

You never did give a fuck love, thats the problem in the first place. Hmm

Parmarella · 28/09/2013 11:04

O, i change my mind

You are very reasonable OP

Clearly!

LEMisdisappointed · 28/09/2013 11:04

Wow - you sound charming!!

Threalamandaclarke · 28/09/2013 11:04

tea go and lie down FFS. Isn't there something good shit on telly?

DamnBamboo · 28/09/2013 11:04

Just read your post of 08:50:50.

YABVVVU.

And stop whinging about being tired - it's par for the course with young kids. We've all been there and it sucks, but really!
Do you want him to work full-time and be knackered all the time too?
Does he do nothing around the house/with children out at all, ever?
Do you WOTH? If not, it's perfectly reasonable that you should do more of the domestic house-related stuff.

DamnBamboo · 28/09/2013 11:06

And in response to your 10:50 post, all he did WAS.THROW.A.MINOR.STROP.

Why do you think it's ok for you to get so het up about this and that's all ok, but it's not for him?

OHforDUCKScake · 28/09/2013 11:06

Its the fact that the original post turned out to be bullshit.

Whatdoido5 · 28/09/2013 11:07

I hunk you are being unreasonable.

And slightly disingenuous in your op.

You wanted to go to that Chinese so you could return the clothes. Return to me means swap. Go in, get right size of identical clothes, till, swap done. Out.

You wanted to browse. Not return.

And what the heck is this testing him and he failed because he wasn't showing his love for dd2 by choosing clothes?

Yorkieaddict · 28/09/2013 11:08

Sorry OP, but YABVVU!

OHforDUCKScake · 28/09/2013 11:09

Whaaaaaat? I missed that! She was testing his love for his daughter?

It gets worse! I hunk I agree with you whattodo Wink

nkf · 28/09/2013 11:09

Here we go.
Was I being unreasonable?
Well, yes, you were a bit.
I don't think I was. How was I?
Well, this, this and this is a bit unreasonable.
It wasn't really unreasonable.
I think it was.
No it wasn't.
Carry on to 1000 threads.

Honestly, OP, you'd be better off catching up on some sleep.

Swipe left for the next trending thread