To expect family to fit around dd

[mumaa]

MIL likes to get the family together round the table for a meal, which I am all for, only thing is, it's always at a time close to DD's bedtime.

We have suggested that perhaps we could come round for lunch instead, so that we can all eat together and our time isn't limited but she seems uninterested in entertaining this idea.

Instead, she will arrange for dinner, and perhaps have it 2 hours before dd is due to go to bed, so we attend and then when we are heading off she says 'oh, are you leaving already?' Am I being unreasonable to think that moving get togethers to an earlier time of day would be more convenient for us but also allow her and other family members to spend more time with dd?

Start saying NO!

"sorry that doesn't work for us".

Then sidestep MIL and ask the rest of the family to your for lunch, present MIL with fait acompli " MIL everyone's coming to ours on x for lunch would you like to come too?"

I would doubt that she would want to miss out.

I think you're making this in to a bigger thing than it needs to be. I get the need to want them in a routine and not grumpy the next day, but every month your child will be different, so this will not go on forever. Just go to dinner, leave when you need to, ignore the comment, and then revisit it the next month when your child's routine will probably have changed again. As they get older, you'll be able to stay later. It's a short window of time that they are this little, so don't get too upset about it.

The phrase "don't sweat the small stuff" is pretty appropriate here I think.

My boys (2-9) need to be in bed at 7pm. If they go any later then 8pm they are all a night mare the next day. If they go to bed beyond 9 it can take a few days to recover.

Some kids gave better stamina then others.

It's quite a difficult one. I can see why you don't want your DD kept up late if she is grumpy the next day. But on the other hand adults don't usually want to eat their evening meal at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. But I don't think I could be so obsessed with routine for a one year old child. But that's me. It's not as if she is partying till the early hours.

Lindor

you are my kinda gal. I would be itching to do it and push me harder I would probably get the petrol pump and do it too.

(I'd feel guilty about using baby though)

I'm a flexi-mum, and this wouldn't bother me. Especially with a baby.I've had three babies and have never felt that I couldn't incorporate the odd late night and change of routine and did so. It was never an issue.

I'll probably get pecked at now because not all children are easy to settle. True.
Some children aren't easy to settle because their routines are so rigid though, and that's true too. A self fulfulling prophecy.

I was always easy ozie over these things, and so were the kids. Wouldn't work for everyone, but meh...I think some folks get too het up about about their all important schedules.

But it is OP who has to deal with the grumpy baby the next day. She has said they've tried it and that's what happens.

I know people like to be rigid with their routines but seriously it is ok to have the odd night out or late evening out, there is no rule that says babies need to be home and in their cot my 7pm op you can either go or not as I said before, the inlaws do not have to go around your babies sleeping schedule this is when the family meal is this is the time it is you need to fit round them not them you and your baby,