To not feed DS dinner until he's properly ravenous and sometimes a bit weepy?

[HarderToKidnap]

DS is 22 months and on around the 9th centile. Eats like a bird. Few mouthfuls of cereal for breakfast, cup of milk and fruit mid morning. Lunch is non existent at the mo, today he licked some cream cheese from an oatcake and had half an Ella's fruit pouch. Then a biscuit mid afternoon sometimes. I've pushed his dinner back to 530 from 445 ish and by the time I come to serve it he is RAVENOUS. He was roaring at me today "DINNER!" And crying with hunger whilst I was making it. He eats so much more though, today he did two scrambled eggs, smoked salmon and a yoghurt. He has milk before bed.

I feel a bit shit that my tiny toddler is crying with hunger by dinner time but it seems unless he is starving to the point of tears he doesn't bloody eat anything! At least this way he does eat. AIBU? And if I am, how should I jiggle meal times to try and make sure he eats?

I don't really know how to answer that Vivienne. If I offered him food when he wasn't ravenous he wouldn't eat it. So it's not really withholding per se, as offering only when it will be eaten I.e. ravenous weepy time. I will try a bit earlier though. I think I'm a good mum in other ways.

Yanbu and definitely not cruel. It sounds as though this is a good way to get him used to not picking at foods and eating a balanced meal. You sound as though you are doing your best for your son and that is all anyone can do.

It's the bloody waste I can't stand either. If I left out bits of cut up fruit and cucumber and cheese etc I just know none of it would ever be eaten and would all have to be chucked. Like wise if I offered hm dinner at five he would eat a tiny bit and then never come back to it even if it was left within reach for ever and ever.

I would being dinner time forward to about 5:15-5:20 and see how much he eats.

Wrt breakfast, could you wait until you have been up a while before you offer it to him? I can't eat as soon as I get up, nor could DS1 but DH and DS2 can.

That's a good idea littlemiss, I will. He eats with DH normally around 730 having got up at 7 but maybe he can eat at 815 with me.

Stop obsessing about centiles. Someone has to be on the 9th. My Dd1 was 25th through most of her baby and toddler years but eats like a bird. DD2 fluctuates between 2nd and 9th but eats much better than her sister and often more than DD1 even though there is 4 years between them.

Somedays she won't stop eating, other times she barely has anything.

I offer her meals and if she doesn't want it she doesn't eat it, sometimes she has seconds. If she doesn't eat I just clear it up without fuss.

Generally at that age, unless there are other underlying issues such as SN or physical problems, they won't starve themselves.

The waste is so annoying. And the tiny cups of cut up food in your fridge. I hate that.

It does not harm a child to let them experience hunger, FFS, the reason there are so many overweight children is because they don't know what hunger is!!

YANBU op, feed him when he is hungry, i'd maybe tweak it so that he isn't in tears but eating when hungry is a good habit to get into, not eating because the clock / mummy says he must. If he's hungry, he'll eat.

Would he be able to help make his food? Like a simple pizza or something? I have fussy kids but when they help make stuff it makes a difference.

I would totally cut out the biscuit mid afternoon too. I'd probably be inclined to offer the fruit and milk at lunch rather than in the middle of the morning. I have never been one for offering snacks, (they help themselves since they became teenagers) I was more inclined to offer them food at meal times.

I can get on board with that logically THisIS but what I don't understand is if he is hungry when he eats dinner he eats a lot more overall. If I serve it at 5 then over the day he eats fewer calories because he hard,y eats any dinner. That says to me that he does need these calories and that he will eat them when he is hungry, it's just that his hungry is a very fleeting phase that quickly tips over into ravenous.

Yanbu, maybe make his dinner early and heat it up as soon as you see he is getting hungry.

I have been experimenting with cutting out the biscuit actually as lunch is now later at around 1. He is currently sleeping from 1030 til 1ish, sometimes later. So I give the snack pre nap as otherwise he wakes earlier, hungry and still tired.

With the CM he is completely different, much shorter nap and eats everything put in front of him.... I suspect she puts the telly on when they eat though and he does eat so much better in front of the telly!

Cut the milk and the snacks. He's probably filling up on those. It's not going to be instant so give it time.

Sounds like a shorter nap and some exercise /fresh air would help too. No ones hungry if they are technically eating and sleeping all day

9th centile only means that out of 100 children his age, 81 will be bigger. 50th is not "normal" nor is it some kind of target.

If he eats better slightly later, have dinner slightly later. It sounds like he'd have that hungry melt down at 5:15, 5:00 or 5:30 so you're not going to win that one.

But as long as he's growing, happy, hitting his milestones and producing plenty of wet/dirty nappies then the numbers can fuck off!

So speaks the mum of a 0.4th ebf baby who had to point this shit out to the health visitor multiple times. DP and i are both 5'4" does she really expect us to produce a 99th centile baby ffs?!

i wouldnt give snacks and cup of milk between meals till he starts eating better at meal times and i certainly wouldnt give a biscuit- if you must give a snack then fruit/breadstick/rice cake

children do not need a snack am and pm tho if eat meals happily and 'seem' to be peckish 10/3ish then i would give a small snack

tea at 5.30 seems late to me, i normally do tea 4.30ish

Oh, and always look at it over a week not just a day. It sounds like you've had a difficult one, looking at the average for your child might help?

i would also try swapping sleep, again an average 22mth sleeps after lunch, so try breakfast, playtime no snack and lunch maybe 11.30/12 and then sleep 12.30/1 for 2hrs - no snack - playtime and then tea 4.30/5

The reason he eats more when he is hungry is because he probably eats more quickly. People who eat slower also tend to eat less because their bodies have time to realise they are full - it is much healthier as it aids digestion and prevents unnecessary weight gain.

I have to go with this approach when DS is being picky - I find that he'll reject stuff if he's not that hungry but low and behold if I let him get a bit hungry the whole lot goes down.

It sounds like you know your DS well and remember 'this too shall pass' :)

Also, I disagree with people saying to cut out the snack. Make it more healthy by all means, but toddlers only have tiny stomachs and are designed to eat little and often to maintain energy levels, not three big meals a day!

YABU

What a horrible way to control your child's food intake.

But in this case it sounds like he's eating snacking sleeping for two and a half hours having lunch snacking again then she's wondering why he's not eating. Less sleep less snacks and some more activity is what's needed there's not enough time between sleeps and snacks and meals