To think I should tell this child's mother

[Thepowerof3]

At my DDs swimming school class last week one of the children spent the majority of the 30 minute session in tears. Towards the end one of the teachers seem to be getting quite frustrated and said 'If you don't stop crying I'll take you down the deep end' her mother didn't hear this as she was down the other end, I don't know her but should I tell her? I don't think using the deep end as a threat is helpful especially to a child who seems petrified anyway

[Mojavewonderer]

I would want to know. I feel that saying something like that is mental abuse to the poor child who is clearly bloody scared as it is. A fear of water is horrible enough without someone threatening to drown you in the deep end if you don't stop crying! I also think you should make a compliant about the teacher.

[BreconBeBuggered]

Jeez, calopene, are you Katie Hopkins?

[ExcuseTypos]

What a horrible 'teacher'. She shouldn't be incharge of young children if she threatens them with things like that. Any idiot would know its a ridiculous thing to say to a frightened child.

Tell the mother and the pool management.

[BrianTheMole]

Oh sorry calopene, I thought all your children just trotted off to beach by themselves whilst you stay home and put your feet up. Nice to see you get the nanny to share the load with your 13 year old though

[ThoughtsPlease]

How did the child react when she was told she'd be thrown in the deep end?

[Lilacroses]

Definitely tell the mum. My Dd was bloody petrified at her school swimming lessons, because of an absolutely horrible teacher, to the point where she was physically sick before every lesson. We only found out how vile the woman actually was when DP volunteered to help and because Dp is a different colour to Dd the teacher had no idea they were related so she saw first hand the hideous woman shouting at Dd. I think what the teacher said in this instance was absolutely dreadful OP and that her mum should definitely told. If she chooses to do nothing about it she that is up to her but if I were the parent I would want to know.

[calopene]

They DO have swimming lessons at the beach when we are on holiday and yes they do trot off by themselves to meet the swimming teacher - who occasionally throws them off his shoulders for fun ! Quick refer the whole situation to International Social Services - no doubt you can work out what time and where by your super sleuth abilities.

[Damnautocorrect]

Presumably though Calopene your kids aren't crying and are enjoying the water?

[calopene]

They cry sometimes ......when they swallow water,get cold etc. All kids cry - but not usually because they are being abused !!you can jolly them along usually and they get over it .

[MissMalonex2]

Haven't read all if the thread - but please do tell the mother and the person/centre employing this person. My swimming teacher threatened to throw me in the deep end if I didn't swim next class and so I stepped in front if a car on the way home from school I was so petrified (luckily car braked, mum got it out of me why I had done it)

[BrianTheMole]

Seems to me you're getting your troll stories all mixed up now calopene.

[IShouldNotBeHere]

Do you jolly them along by threatening to potentially drown them?

[IShouldNotBeHere]

MissMalone

[calopene]

Who is likely a nun in a belgian convent or similar !

[IShouldNotBeHere]

Its not crying or supervision that is the issue here. Its threatening a child.

[morethanpotatoprints]

Do you jolly them along by threatening to potentially drown them?

No she couldn't possibly do that, nanny brings them up, lol

[BrianTheMole]

Goodness, conversing with you Calopene is about as interesting as watching paint dry. In fact I think the paint might be slightly more interesting.

[Tasmania]

No. At that age, the mother SHOULD have taken the kid to the swimming pool a few times already prior to the lessons taking place. The kid should not behave like this in a group lesson. It's disrupting for all the other kids.

[calopene]

How often have you heard ( or said yourself ?) 'Ikm going to kill you little buggers' by a parent ? Is that a threat ? The swimming teacher could have been saying it in a similar vein - highly likely imo. How many swimming teachers have you lot seen chucking a 4 year old in the deep end ? Yes - right.

[ShakeAndVac]

My smallest (aged 6) is currently learning how to swim via lessons and has been for a few months now. I'm outside in the spectator area watching him but obviously not able to hear anything that is said. If this was said to my ds I absolutely would want to know.
What is saying that going to instil in them?! Way to go for instilling a fear of the deep end.
You're supposed to be encouraging them to respect the water and learn how to swim properly! Not make them scared of it.

[calopene]

Well don't then BRIAN !

[ShakeAndVac]

NO ! Just a comment and may even have been in jest .......what is it with people who think it is their job to bé a 'public snitch'. I would tell you to mind your own business and likely the kid will forget the comment anyway. Mountain out of molehill !

calopene Just a comment? Really? What, so threatening to 'take them down the deep end' is acceptable? In what world? Why should it be acceptable to threaten to take them down to the deep end? The deep end should be nothing to be afraid of.They should learn to swim and get there in their own good time. So why, when they're still at shallow end level, make out like the deep end is a threat and something to be scared of?!

[Goldmandra]

That child may well have taken the instructor at her word and now believe that she's likely to be made to go to the deep end any time she gets upset. I wouldn't be surprised if she's hanging onto her mother for dear life and screaming hysterically at the beginning of the next lesson and her mother will be non the wiser as to why she's so much more distressed. If that happens next week I'd tell the mother.

Anyone who has a reasonable grasp of how to teach small children knows that threatening a frightened child or trying to scare a child out of showing their fear is counter-productive and detrimental to the child's well-being and ability to learn anything. She's probably just put the child's progress back by months.

This instructor either needs to be sent on some training or moved to work with a different age group and I would express that view to the management the next time I visited the pool.

[DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved]

Very nasty comment and I'd want to know if I was the girls mother.