To think I should tell this child's mother

[Thepowerof3]

At my DDs swimming school class last week one of the children spent the majority of the 30 minute session in tears. Towards the end one of the teachers seem to be getting quite frustrated and said 'If you don't stop crying I'll take you down the deep end' her mother didn't hear this as she was down the other end, I don't know her but should I tell her? I don't think using the deep end as a threat is helpful especially to a child who seems petrified anyway

[Thepowerof3]

It was Friday so 3 days ago. I could do other things Calopene but I choose to watch them and I enjoy it, it's 30 mins a week when it's just me and my DDs whilst the baby stays at home. You won't make me feel like a saddo/helicopter for wanting to watch and I couldn't care less if you choose not to watch. The mum being down the other end was never part of my question it just came up. I was there so I think I'm best placed to comment on how she said it and how she meant it

[sweetiepie1979]

I think the moment has gone to say something. Best result would have been to say something at the time and to the instructor. Did you say it happened a week a week ago? Watch for similar behaviour again from childand iinstructor and take it from there. Or if it is really bothering you yo to manager and express your concern about The teacher, mentioning it to the mother at this point I can't really see solving the problem more adding to it.mother might feel defensive that she wasn'taware it hhappened then she might say something to instructor but it's all second hand it could get messy.

[ShakeAndVac]

What happens when they get to the age of being able to go up into the deep end? My eldest DS (aged 10) has been having lessons since he was 5 years old.
If he'd have been told at the age of 5 when he first started out "Shut up, or I'll chuck you in the deep end" or words to that effect, anyway, what would that have achieved?!
He'd have got to the age he is now, progressed to the group he is now and been scared of being in the deep end instead of being in the shallow end all the time.
How is that conducive to being able to swim competently?!
Far better to teach them as they go along and not make a big thing out of water.

[LondonNinja]

The teacher can't be very good if they have to issue threats...

[DoubleLifeIsALifeHalved]

Very nasty comment and I'd want to know if I was the girls mother.

[Goldmandra]

That child may well have taken the instructor at her word and now believe that she's likely to be made to go to the deep end any time she gets upset. I wouldn't be surprised if she's hanging onto her mother for dear life and screaming hysterically at the beginning of the next lesson and her mother will be non the wiser as to why she's so much more distressed. If that happens next week I'd tell the mother.

Anyone who has a reasonable grasp of how to teach small children knows that threatening a frightened child or trying to scare a child out of showing their fear is counter-productive and detrimental to the child's well-being and ability to learn anything. She's probably just put the child's progress back by months.

This instructor either needs to be sent on some training or moved to work with a different age group and I would express that view to the management the next time I visited the pool.

[ShakeAndVac]

NO ! Just a comment and may even have been in jest .......what is it with people who think it is their job to bé a 'public snitch'. I would tell you to mind your own business and likely the kid will forget the comment anyway. Mountain out of molehill !

calopene Just a comment? Really? What, so threatening to 'take them down the deep end' is acceptable? In what world? Why should it be acceptable to threaten to take them down to the deep end? The deep end should be nothing to be afraid of.They should learn to swim and get there in their own good time. So why, when they're still at shallow end level, make out like the deep end is a threat and something to be scared of?!

[calopene]

Well don't then BRIAN !

[ShakeAndVac]

My smallest (aged 6) is currently learning how to swim via lessons and has been for a few months now. I'm outside in the spectator area watching him but obviously not able to hear anything that is said. If this was said to my ds I absolutely would want to know.
What is saying that going to instil in them?! Way to go for instilling a fear of the deep end.
You're supposed to be encouraging them to respect the water and learn how to swim properly! Not make them scared of it.

[calopene]

How often have you heard ( or said yourself ?) 'Ikm going to kill you little buggers' by a parent ? Is that a threat ? The swimming teacher could have been saying it in a similar vein - highly likely imo. How many swimming teachers have you lot seen chucking a 4 year old in the deep end ? Yes - right.

[Tasmania]

No. At that age, the mother SHOULD have taken the kid to the swimming pool a few times already prior to the lessons taking place. The kid should not behave like this in a group lesson. It's disrupting for all the other kids.

[BrianTheMole]

Goodness, conversing with you Calopene is about as interesting as watching paint dry. In fact I think the paint might be slightly more interesting.

[morethanpotatoprints]

Do you jolly them along by threatening to potentially drown them?

No she couldn't possibly do that, nanny brings them up, lol

[IShouldNotBeHere]

Its not crying or supervision that is the issue here. Its threatening a child.

[calopene]

Who is likely a nun in a belgian convent or similar !

[IShouldNotBeHere]

MissMalone

[IShouldNotBeHere]

Do you jolly them along by threatening to potentially drown them?

[BrianTheMole]

Seems to me you're getting your troll stories all mixed up now calopene.

[MissMalonex2]

Haven't read all if the thread - but please do tell the mother and the person/centre employing this person. My swimming teacher threatened to throw me in the deep end if I didn't swim next class and so I stepped in front if a car on the way home from school I was so petrified (luckily car braked, mum got it out of me why I had done it)

[calopene]

They cry sometimes ......when they swallow water,get cold etc. All kids cry - but not usually because they are being abused !!you can jolly them along usually and they get over it .

[Damnautocorrect]

Presumably though Calopene your kids aren't crying and are enjoying the water?

[calopene]

They DO have swimming lessons at the beach when we are on holiday and yes they do trot off by themselves to meet the swimming teacher - who occasionally throws them off his shoulders for fun ! Quick refer the whole situation to International Social Services - no doubt you can work out what time and where by your super sleuth abilities.

[Lilacroses]

Definitely tell the mum. My Dd was bloody petrified at her school swimming lessons, because of an absolutely horrible teacher, to the point where she was physically sick before every lesson. We only found out how vile the woman actually was when DP volunteered to help and because Dp is a different colour to Dd the teacher had no idea they were related so she saw first hand the hideous woman shouting at Dd. I think what the teacher said in this instance was absolutely dreadful OP and that her mum should definitely told. If she chooses to do nothing about it she that is up to her but if I were the parent I would want to know.

[ThoughtsPlease]

How did the child react when she was told she'd be thrown in the deep end?