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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off that another mum has plastered my 6yo DD in make-up

103 replies

itsn0tmeitsyou · 20/09/2013 21:04

So my DD has come home from playing at a friend's house and tells me that whilst there they had a make-up session, with the mum, with the mum's make up, including foundation, lipstick, eyeshadow etc. My dd's face was clean when she got home but I feel that it is my decision to decide when I am ready for my DD to experiment with make-up, not someone else's. 6 is too young imo, and to presume without asking really pisses me off.

AIBU??

OP posts:
BrianTheMole · 20/09/2013 21:06

I wouldn't mind that much as long as it wasn't a regular occurrence.

Fairylea · 20/09/2013 21:06

I think yabu. She didn't go out anywhere with it on. For a 6 year old its no different than face painting. Wouldn't bother me at all! I'd just be pleased they had fun all together.

HeySoulSister · 20/09/2013 21:07

Yabu! They are six!

Offler · 20/09/2013 21:08

It's just fun and dressing up surely? Would you have objected to face paints as well?

BiBiBroccoli · 20/09/2013 21:09

YABU - she wasn't smoking/swigging wine! Agreed that it's no different to face paint at that age.

defineme · 20/09/2013 21:10

Is it not just playing at that age?
Would you get upset if they'd been prancing around in Mum's shoes for a laugh?
I appreciate the connotations of and issues with make-up, but I very much doubt your dd is differentiating it from face paint at the moment.

absentmindeddooooodles · 20/09/2013 21:11

It's a bit of fun! Relax. She's not going to start demanding she wears it everyday.

Original poster
itsn0tmeitsyou · 20/09/2013 21:14

Oh dear am I totally alone?? yikes

I already considered the face paint thing, and I concluded that to the child it's the same, but make-up is about sexualising the female face, which is why I think 6 is too young... I would have had no problem with face painting.

Also, I suppose I just think that if my DD is going to have her first experiment with make-up, it should be with me...

OP posts:
ChristineDaae · 20/09/2013 21:15

I wouldn't think it was an experiment with makeup, not a age6. At 6 it's just playing. Experimenting with makeup will be when she wants to wear it out if the house.

mrsjay · 20/09/2013 21:15

it was a bit of fun maybe the other girl likes to play with it in the house or maybe the mum thinks the girls would enjoy it, your dd came home with a clean face it all came off, it is like playing dress up imo I don't think you have anything to worry about it was a little bit of make up in the house

SirChenjin · 20/09/2013 21:16

Not worth getting upset about - it's just playing, no different to face paints

mrsjay · 20/09/2013 21:18

would you feel the same is they were adding about with some high heels on,

CocacolaMum · 20/09/2013 21:19

I would see it as no different face paint tbh

TeenAndTween · 20/09/2013 21:20

I wouldn't have been particularly happy either, so you are not alone.

ihearsounds · 20/09/2013 21:20

Saturday nights here are a bit mad. Often have quiet a few over for sleeps overs. We do the make up. The nail varnish. The high heels. Even a couple of the boys like to join in.... Children like dressing up.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 20/09/2013 21:21

Don't lay a big "thing" on her "first experiment" with makeup....it's not like her first shoes or her first boyfriend! It's just makeup...she will keep on experimenting for years yet! You're the one who will teach her how to apply it.

HeySoulSister · 20/09/2013 21:21

Make up is not sexualising the face! That's some wierdy idea you have there ... And when she's at make up age she might not want her mother involved, more likely to be her friends

NoComet · 20/09/2013 21:22

DSIS and I always messed about with mum's old make up. DSIS is younger than me, so I guess she'd have been about 6 or 7.

Hardly ever wear make up as an adult, so it hardly corrupted me.

holidaybug · 20/09/2013 21:27

YABU - sounds like they were just having a bit of fun - relax.

AgentZigzag · 20/09/2013 21:27

Wow, I wear make up, does that mean I'm in a heightened sexual state all day every day?? Shock

Grin

I can see what you're saying, and if it was a 6 YO wearing it routinely YWNBU, but they're just playing dress up, and even cleaned it off which is a plus.

I've been resisting 3.5 YO DD2 putting nail varnish on and not letting DD1 do it for her, but then the nursery did them one day Grin DD2 was well chuffed bless her.

I don't even know why I didn't want the varnish on, just resisting her growing up a bit maybe?

No harm done.

Madmartigan · 20/09/2013 21:28

I'd be a bit uncomfortable with this too. But weighing up the fall out from saying or doing anything, not so uncomfortable it's worth tackling.

NoelHeadbands · 20/09/2013 21:30

It wouldn't bother me really, it's just a bit of 'dress up'

BUT having said that, it's not something I would have done with one of my daughters friends when they were six, so I do see where you're coming from a little bit

yetanotherstatistic · 20/09/2013 21:30

My 5yr old and her friends love playing with makeup but I would always check with the parents first before letting them. So far the only objection has been from one of the dad's who shared your view on sexualisation. As a result they don't have access to it when his dd comes round.

I share your revulsion at the preschool beauty pageant look but I think that their cackhanded attempts to make themselves up (I won't apply it for them properly) are age appropriate and no different to dressing up/face painting.

ChanelTunel · 20/09/2013 21:30

It IS face-paint. Life is way too short to find trivial things to get pissed off about,when there are serious issues that you could direct your ire-energy towards.

desertgirl · 20/09/2013 21:31

mine had (cheap) eyeshadow and a brick coloured lipstick in her party bag from what was either a 4th or 5th birthday party - which of course she thought was fabulous and wanted to wear a lot. Was not terribly impressed..... Just putting it on once seems quite minor in comparison!