Am I being unreasonable to confront this woman?

[justanuthermanicmumsday]

for those of you who don't know I wear a face veil usually a patterned scarf to avoid sticking out so much lol. point is I expect the odd comments maybe groans as I work past in my honour of course.

But two times now this senior lady I'd say in her 60s or more unprovoked loudly made comments at me. The first time she said" why are you wearing that" I was walking past with my twin buggy to supermarket, I thght she was incredibly rude. Had she said excuse me and proceeded to ask me a question in a normal tone I wouldn't have been miffed. Still I kept my cool said religious reasons as I walked away. I didn't want a conversation I don't see why I should explain when she was so rude.

yet today I see her again shouting across the road at me this time." No need to wear that take it off". Today I would say she looked aggressive or perhaps it was my eyes deceiving me. My toddler was with me she looked distressed said" mummy whys that lady shouting". I said "she's prob ill like your gran never mind her."

Should I confront her if this happens again? I'm not an aggressive person quite a walkover and not much confidence but I think it can't be ignored its like harassment.

I dread to think ill pass her again if I pop out she's always on the same route as me, yet why should I dread her.

Granted she doesn't like my dress neither does my brother, I'm not harming her in anyway. one sibling said I shouldn't confront her in case she goes to the police. But that's insane what reason would she have to go to the police i would simply tell her to get off my case. How would she like it if I told her to change her dress for something more acceptable to me. She's not the fashion police or the law.

Please remember this is not a conversation on whether you approve of my dress rather this woman's behaviour

Originalpiratematerial - what if he adopts the concept that women should cover their faces, and begins to think you are immodest for not covering yours?

But being non white or disabled isn't exactly someone's choice is it?

What if the op was getting grief for facial tattoos? How do you think the thread would be going then?

heartisaspade Those photos are incredible. From childhood my best friend's father was from Afghanistan and he came over to London in the late 60's escaping whomever it was back then messing them around... not once was there every any inclination of "opression" towards his family - in fact I was shocked to learn decades later of the situation in Afghanistan. The man I met was at the other end of the spectrum of modern/medieval times.

I read the Op last night and knew this thread would end up like this.

Please remember this is not a conversation on whether you approve of my dress rather this woman's behaviour

Did nobody read this bit of the OP?! Disgusting behaviour on this thread.

the op is free to believe what she wants, as is the miserable old bat on the street. The difference is in how that belief is expressed.

The op may believe that all women should wear the vale, that is her right as we have the right to religious freedom in this country. However, if the op were to start approaching non vale-wearing women and chastising them for not being more modest and covering up, then that would be offensive.

The miserable old bat in the street may believe that wearing the vale is oppressive/offensive/. That is her right. However when she starts expressing that belief in terms of shouting at vale-wearing women in the street she becomes offensive. Not hard to understand is it?

I would treat this lady as sad and uninformed

Is everyone who disagrees with the full face veil 'sad and uniformed' then?

Why all the demonizing of a whole religion due to a few fanatics? I'm pretty sure that the OP is not wearing the veil in support of the actions of Al Qadea, and to intimidate us all.

The level of bigotry on this thread is terrifying me because I believed MN was predominantly frequented by broad minded, educated people who all shared a common goal of improving and enriching the lives of our children, and improving the future they are growing into.

Silly Me, lesson learnt

I should start by saying that I am Muslim.

I appreciate that what I am about to say is off-point - apologies. As a muslim I find both the veil and the headscarf offensive and I think that England should follow France's example and ban them in public offices/places. In a time of enlightenment I find it shocking that women believe that they must hide their modesty to please a mysoginistic interpretation of the religion they follow.

It is simply a symbol oppression and although I disagree with the attack on the OP if I am honest everytime I see the headscarf or veil worn I just cringe with shame that intelligent women need to hide their form. The female body/hair is not something to be ashamed of. Quite the contrary.

It is fair to say that the veil and headscarf disgust me and although I cannot condone the attackers behaviour I feel her frustration.

Heart Christianity is another proselytizing religion and can be a very aggressive one at that (check out the history). However it does not mean that all Christians want the whole world to be Christian. Just as being a Muslim doesn't mean that you want the whole world to follow Islam. There is no indication that the OP seeks to interfere with anyone else's beliefs or dress, so why make out that she does?

Drivin that's some high expectations from a forum. You might want to watch that.

Broad minded does not equal agreeing with everything and never questioning.

You can be narrow minded in your rush to accept and never question. Just as you can be narrow minded by refusing to acknowledge differences.

My ds once ran away from a group of women wearing full face veils thinking they were ghosts. Very apt I thought.

Op, I do hope you are taking a decent vitamin d supplement if you go outside in a veil in scotland.

As for the old lady, perhaps she is more scared of you than you are of her? Or she may be an evil old bat who should be avoided.

You can wear what you like, even if I think you are misguided.

. Apologies for the double posts.

Bloody hell... I personally believe that on the streets, we have the right to wear what we want (as long as we have some clothes on when we're on the streets, let's not be breaking the law now people ). In court, multi-faith schools etc, it should be mandatory to remove the veil (in the name of equality more than anything), and I believe it's courtesy to remove the full-face section when having a conversation/in a shop, but that's down to personal and religious choice - yes, it might colour my opinion of them, but it doesn't mean I'm going to demand they dress differently.

The OP seems perfectly reasonable - she's leaving others to live their lives in peace and dress how they want, and she just wants the same basic rights to be afforded to her. The fact that a woman on the street would try and deny it is bad enough, but for so many people here to be doing it too?

It is sad that we live in a culture where people's views of a simple item of clothing have been so coloured by sensationalism and the ridiculous notion that all Muslims = terrorists, to the extent that people feel persecuted for expressing their religion in exactly the same way that Christians do by wearing crucifixes, or Catholics with rosaries, or atheists in choosing not to wear any religious apparel at all.

I'm an atheist and Christianity offends me, therefore no-one should go to church or wear a crucifix or any clothes referencing the Bible. How is that any more or less acceptable than someone deciding - pathetically - that another religion offends them, so people shouldn't be allowed to practice it in their free, every day life (I say "free" in that they aren't restricted by rules on what to wear e.g uniform in schools, in court etc).

I would keep the moral high ground and ignore the woman completely. She should not be shouting in the street at all and maybe she has a medical condition.
If she continues to shout at you and starts coming over and harassing you then I feel that you should go to the police.
I am ashamed by some of the previous postings - what did they not understand about the last 2 lines of your original post ??

Of course it's sexist...unless muslim men are meant to wear them too.
Any religion that has rules around dress that only applies to 1 gender are sexist. Especially any dress that impedes movement or sight in anyway.

I saw a lovely example in a city centre. Mum, auntie & young child were veiled\wearing a headscarf...rebellious teenager was wearing western clothes & no veil. I was cheering her silently.

You dont have to wear a veil to dress modestly. Your rebellious teenage daughters who want to adapt to UK standards will show you the way, thank God.

If your religion teaches understanding & tolerance, then you could think of extending this to the angery shouty women. Many women like me have to fight hard to maintain the equalities that women have died for in the past. We do this everyday & help younger women to stand up for themselves. The veil is a step backwards in my view. Perhaps that is why she is angry