Am I being unreasonable to confront this woman?

[justanuthermanicmumsday]

for those of you who don't know I wear a face veil usually a patterned scarf to avoid sticking out so much lol. point is I expect the odd comments maybe groans as I work past in my honour of course.

But two times now this senior lady I'd say in her 60s or more unprovoked loudly made comments at me. The first time she said" why are you wearing that" I was walking past with my twin buggy to supermarket, I thght she was incredibly rude. Had she said excuse me and proceeded to ask me a question in a normal tone I wouldn't have been miffed. Still I kept my cool said religious reasons as I walked away. I didn't want a conversation I don't see why I should explain when she was so rude.

yet today I see her again shouting across the road at me this time." No need to wear that take it off". Today I would say she looked aggressive or perhaps it was my eyes deceiving me. My toddler was with me she looked distressed said" mummy whys that lady shouting". I said "she's prob ill like your gran never mind her."

Should I confront her if this happens again? I'm not an aggressive person quite a walkover and not much confidence but I think it can't be ignored its like harassment.

I dread to think ill pass her again if I pop out she's always on the same route as me, yet why should I dread her.

Granted she doesn't like my dress neither does my brother, I'm not harming her in anyway. one sibling said I shouldn't confront her in case she goes to the police. But that's insane what reason would she have to go to the police i would simply tell her to get off my case. How would she like it if I told her to change her dress for something more acceptable to me. She's not the fashion police or the law.

Please remember this is not a conversation on whether you approve of my dress rather this woman's behaviour

there is a difference between being upset by something and offended by it. Or even finding something upsetting and recognising that it is offensive but without being able to be personally offended by it.

You could, e.g. go to see a comedian who tends to spend a lot of their set telling grossly offensive jokes about everyone, certain races, people with disabilities etc. You recognise that those jokes are grossly offensive to those people who are being targeted and you might complain about them. But as you don't have a disability or are not of the race being joked about it's not personally offensive to you hence why you can't personally be offended by it, you might feel offended on behalf of another, but it cannot be personally offensive to you because it's not directed towards you or even your demographic.

A woman wearing a vale is representative of her religion. She does not represent all women. Her vale is a symbol of women within her religion not of women as a collective. As you are not a mmuslim this is not offensive to you - she has not made a statement that you should be valed.

Heart A woman's choice to wear a veil impacts me not a jot. I am comfortable with who I am. I do not feel threatened by the dress sense of others. I too hope that your DD enjoys the same freedom and choices that you have had. Including the freedom to change her religion and wear whatever she feels is appropriate for her, without being abused in the street for excercising that freedom.

those talking about women dying for the freedom to wear what they want, can you not see your own double standards?

Some women may actually choose to wear a vale, for whatever reason, surely the fact that women have "died for the freedom" means that they too should have the freedom to do that?

You can't have it both ways, either women are free to wear what they want, and that includes the vale if they so choose, or they're not.

If you want women to have the freedom to wear what they want then that includes accepting that women may choose to wear a vale, and that you, as another woman who is part of a sex who died for that freedom must accept that.

This woman is very rude op but what you have to understand is women have fought, gone to prison and even died to give us the freedom and equalities we have today.

Yes you are free to live the way you want but understand that we cannot understand why you would. We are a tolerant country, try dressing in a western style in a devoutly Islamic country - it would not just be one crazy old lady shouting at you

Look at those pictures of Afghanistan - the changes in that culture cannot have happened overnight they would have been bit by bit - a few people expressing their right to cover up, then encouragement, then enforcement. I am sure there are women who would die to ensure that never becomes the norm or expected in this country.

heartisaspade
'I find it baffling and frightening that you think their future will be improved and enriched by supporting the transformation into a society which oppresses women and forces them to hide their faces and bodies in public.'

How the hell does a minority group become such a threat to you that you are fearing a complete take over of our own society.

Insecure?? I think so

Of course she is Heart, unless veil wearing is made mandatory, your DD will be free to dress as she wishes. You seem to have an irrational fear of the UK becoming some sort of Sharia state.

^" my daughter is unlikely to enjoy the same freedom I have if the full veiling of women is made acceptable and normalised in our society
"^

Oh come on, you think this is in any way likely??

MurderofGoths - little girls of 11 are being forced to wear them in schools. It's already happening. Except we are not supposed to care because of their parents' religion!

Of course we should care where they are forced, but allowing some people to choose to wear the veil is never going to lead to it being a widespread practice over here. Aside from in the most paranoid minds.

MurderofGoths - it IS widespread where I live.

How did Afghanistan go from what we see in the pictures to what we see now in 30 years?

I think though, even if you do confront her, you are unlikely to change her views or her rude attitude and so I think I'd simply would ignore her and hope she gets bored of it sooner or later.

but the eleven year olds are presumably of the muslim faith. Or are you suggesting that Britain will soon become a muslim state if we start to tolerate the wearing of the vale? who is going to be voting in the muslim government do you think?

Do you also stock-pyle for a zombie apocalypse?

Soviet Invasion, the ensuing chaos and Western support for the Taliban. It did not happen because some women wore veils and it became really popular.

How did my local Asda become full of veil wearers in just a few years?

I frequent Bedford and Luton and it's a very popular look here. It doesn't offend me though. w about the hair thing (ie headscarf) and the jump to covering the face, but if it was too offensive to acknowledge, then i apologise.

I think some of my message got lost in translation there

wannaBe - little muslim girls should have the same rights to enjoy life as everyone else.

But where does the veil fit in to all that?

Why were women wearing normal clothes then 30 years later full coverage?

MurderofGoths - bet you wouldn't call yourself MurderofBurkhas.

I don't agree anyone should be abused in the street. I have never actually seen anyone in Britain wearing a veil - not to say there hasn't been anyone wearing one when I've been there, more likely I am so non observant I wouldn't notice.

For those though who think we could all be converted to Muslim in 30 years, how many have been asked to convert by a Muslim? Its just that I've had Mormons, JW, Christians all at my door but I've never had to Quran quoted at me on a Sunday morning?

The veil wearing was enforced by the Taliban.