Am I being unreasonable to confront this woman?

[justanuthermanicmumsday]

for those of you who don't know I wear a face veil usually a patterned scarf to avoid sticking out so much lol. point is I expect the odd comments maybe groans as I work past in my honour of course.

But two times now this senior lady I'd say in her 60s or more unprovoked loudly made comments at me. The first time she said" why are you wearing that" I was walking past with my twin buggy to supermarket, I thght she was incredibly rude. Had she said excuse me and proceeded to ask me a question in a normal tone I wouldn't have been miffed. Still I kept my cool said religious reasons as I walked away. I didn't want a conversation I don't see why I should explain when she was so rude.

yet today I see her again shouting across the road at me this time." No need to wear that take it off". Today I would say she looked aggressive or perhaps it was my eyes deceiving me. My toddler was with me she looked distressed said" mummy whys that lady shouting". I said "she's prob ill like your gran never mind her."

Should I confront her if this happens again? I'm not an aggressive person quite a walkover and not much confidence but I think it can't be ignored its like harassment.

I dread to think ill pass her again if I pop out she's always on the same route as me, yet why should I dread her.

Granted she doesn't like my dress neither does my brother, I'm not harming her in anyway. one sibling said I shouldn't confront her in case she goes to the police. But that's insane what reason would she have to go to the police i would simply tell her to get off my case. How would she like it if I told her to change her dress for something more acceptable to me. She's not the fashion police or the law.

Please remember this is not a conversation on whether you approve of my dress rather this woman's behaviour

I haven't seen loads in Scotland either, actually.

Wilson! (Said in Captain Mainwaring voice) You sound Scottish yourself, no?

Are we allowed to stereotype Scottish women over 60 in a way we would not dream of doing to say, a woman from Pakistan? If so, why?

Wannabe - you are right, sorry.

Actually, wannaBe, I do think there is a happy medium between over-covering and letting it all hang out. It is totally wrong for a person to make inappropriate comments and actions based on what a woman is wearing, but it IS up to the wearer to perhaps think about the message she is giving out, whether the message is "here are my knickers. Would you like a closer look?" or "I have built a wall around myself so that you cannot see me. I am not here." What we ALL wear gives out a message to everyone else around us - this is one of the freedoms, joys and pleasures we gain from being allowed to choose our own clothes.

People in our society are FREE to choose, and many of us think about the image we project just by walking down the street in the clothes we have decided to wear today. I have had to give thought to what I am wearing today, because I am in a place far, far away, where my western clothes are strange. I have still worn them today (sometimes I wear local clothing though,) but I have altered my way of dressing from what I would wear at home because even though it is very hot bare shoulders and knees are frowned on here. Should I choose to let my belly hang out though, that's just fine here - a nice wobbly belly is a sign you have produced many children and have spent your life eating well! Regardless, my way of dressing is carefully chosen to not cause offence to the local population.

Back to our own culture, fashion is so popular because it allows people to show how they feel they fit in with the way the rest of their culture are feeling. This year in the shops we are all looking at biker jackets and plaid shirts, skater dresses seem to be popular too. By choosing these clothes we are making a statement, that we wish to fit in. Many people also choose to wear different styles of clothes - I've been known to favour a lot of these alternative styles myself, having dabbled with steampunk and various vintage styles, and when the setting is right I frequently wear country style, with tweed and shit and am a bit that it seems to be being cheapened by the high street this winter, but that's another conversation. People wear different things often because they want to make a statement, whether they realise it or not. The single most important thing to bear in mind here is that just as people in Britain are FREE to wear what they want, people are also free to THINK what they want. Provided no aggression is intended, we are even free to SAY what we want too.

I fully applaud the way that women are empowered in our society to wear what they want and express themselves through their clothing. I wouldn't want to ban anyone from wearing whatever they want to wear (there is another thread going on this, that I won't be getting involved in,) but with freedom comes responsibility. I think EVERYONE, niqab, mini-skirt or boring old jeans-wearer should keep that in mind when they set foot out of the house in the morning.

I am Scottish and will be a batty old granny at some point, hopefully with a walking stick to prod people with. It is an archetypal lonely elderly widow who stands by her front gate, gassing with the neighbours or anyone else who happens to pass by, stopping ever so and often to yell to passers by 'what are ye havin fur yer tea?'. Every town has one. I think it's some kind of law - in the West of scotland anyway.

I can say what I like aout ScotGrans - as the great man once said 'joke about your ain kind and your a comedian, someone else makes the same joke and they're a bigot'.

I now live in London where I see loads of letterbox women, especially in summer when we get a lot of people coming over from the ME to stay for a few weeks.

I have never ever in all my puff seen a woman with her face covered (apart from Halloween or a bride) in Scotland. Honestly, and I lived in Glasgow.

Nicename - for some reason, you are making me crave Tunnock's Tea Cakes!

Nicename - I guess it's all that cosy scottish grandma type imagery.

My cousin had her wedding cake made by the Tunnocks bakery. I still remember being less than impressed that it wasn't a giant tea cake or caramel wafer!

Op I think you need to think about what you are saying to you children if you choose to ignore her.

Nicename - stop it with the imagery! Giant Tunnock's Tea Cakes, Tunnock Tea Cake World, er, Factory...

I have been to the factory too!

She sounds very rude (rather than making a point about the veil generally, which people should be allowed yo do as long as its polite) although some older people do express views that the recipient may not like.

In fact, reading that back, lots of people make rude comments all the time, not just older people.
Youngish man to dc yesterday : 'are you gonna eat all that? That's greedy isn't it?'

Me: 'ha ha yes' (under breath ' off!')

She was rude. If a problem report to the police. I however do find it very scary when someone covers the face. Similar to a clown face which also is very frightening as you cant see the person properly. People dont just use the month and eyes to talk.

justanuthermanicmumsday YANBU to consider confronting this woman, but I don't think you should have to deal with her ignorance and rudeness yourself. She is harassing you in the street and I would urge you to call the police next time this happens.

So many disgusting attitudes in this thread. Can you not see that freedom means freedom to wear what you like, including the veil? Don't stamp your feet shouting 'feminism' if you are only willing to accept your own view as the correct one, and condemn anyone who dares to choose their own dress.

I don't find Islamic dress offensive, what I find offensive is walking down a street with a thick woollen coat covering me from neck to mid-calf and still being leered at and perved upon by strange men. My body is private and precious to me, I feel uncomfortable and afraid of men who feel it is acceptable to openly gaze at my body despite being fully clothed. I'm not in any way ashamed of my body, infact I'm happy with my lot and I don't need 'alright gorgeous' to be called across the street at me to feel confident. When modern society is more respectful and modest towards women, maybe women won't feel the need to cover up so much.

I can't believe how silly and entitled some people on this thread have made themselves sound by getting so offended at other people's choice in clothing. Personally I don't find it pleasant to see how most women dress on a night out clubbing, or a man without a shirt on, but offended? Absolutely not. I respect their choice and simply avert my gaze.

If I walked outside in a kkk or nazi uniform, I would expect nasty responses. Advertising your religious ideology of homophobia and misogyny will get you these reactions. Moderates don't cover their face, extremists do.

Zatya - Baroness Warsi said there are no moderate or extremist muslims, just muslims, I think.

There are more than one reasons why people (some may be men) choose to cover their faces. Some may want to be modest, others may wear it as a symbol of their political allegiance, and some may e fleeing the country.

I just read this article about wearing a niqab for a day, I occasionally read this blog for the disability stuff, but there is Muslim stuff too.

People covered from head to foot in black, with their ears covered, and visibility reduced might be more likely to get knocked down by traffic.

Adventure; ok put it this way, normal muslims vs religious lunatics. Stop indulging the lunatics.

The black burkha creeps a lot of people out because it reminds them of a halloween outfit. The Northampton Clown has met with a similar response.

Oh come on. Clowns are far creepier

Nicename - even Tom Selleck looked creepy as a clown in Her Alibi.