about girls in boys clothing?

[Thurlow]

Do you think there is a time when it starts to look as though people dressing their girls in very obviously 'boys' clothing are trying to make some sort of statement?

I'm asking this from the point of view that I do dress my 20mo in boys clothing. My personal taste isn't for soft pinks, dresses etc so she lives in leggings, jeans, and bright colours - looking at the other toddler girls I see, DD is dressed by far the least 'girly'/'feminine' of them all. What got me thinking today was I just ordered some winter stuff, most of it from the boys range, and most of it really quite stereotypically boyish - a blue ski jacket, Batman wellies, a dark beanie hat, that sort of thing. I can picture that at a first glance, especially if you can't see her long hair, she would look like a boy in her outdoor kit.

Now I don't particularly care what other people think - you dress your kid how you want to until they start expressing their own opinion, as far as I'm concerned. I buy what I like. I buy things like Batman wellies because they are cool, and DP will love them. But do you think, as children get older, whether other people do start to make judgements - things like "oh, they must have wanted a son" - and whether you are not doing your child any favours my putting them in clothes which to others scream a particular gender? I'll admit I have never seen a young boy in leggings yet, so no matter what top or colours a baby is wearing, I would see leggings and assume the child was a girl. Other people would probably see a blue coat and Batman wellies and assume the child was a boy.

Obviously there's a huge debate that goes alongside this about gender stereotypes for children, but that thought in itself makes me wonder if you can go too far trying to be gender neutral. But I'm looking at what I'm wearing at work today and, yes, it is gender-specific. Pretty much all my adult clothes are, regardless of their colour. So is this the same for children?

DS has got a lovely pair of batman leggings I figure that with kids all that really matters is that the clothes are practical. Whether they are boys or girls is neither here nor there. Unisex just makes much more sense.

dd has had an opinion since about 18 months old, she wears princess clothes and spiderman outfits and she wears what she chooses

She will soon get to the stage where she will make her own feelings known, but I'd say it's perfectly reasonable to dress her how you want for the moment.

DD went through a very pink and sparkly phase (not my taste at all) from about age two to age four, then from five reverted to a more tomboy-ish style - handy for me, as she has an older brother, so she was happy to wear a lot of his old clothes, with the odd bit of purple and butterflies, because she liked them. She's now nearly 11, and still goes for a lot of more gender-neutral colours - luckily it's much easier to find feminine-style but not pink-and-sparkly clothes now that she is wearing adult sizes.

When your children are little, you buy them the clothes that you want them to wear, so whatever you dress them in, you are making a 'statement', eg. I don't like 'girly' clothes, I think 'boys' clothes are more fun, etc. when they are old enough to choose, they will make their own statement. Don't worry about it.

Most people say that they dress their DC2 in their older siblings clothes, but I find that this is only common if DC1 was a boy. If you have a girl, lots of people will buy you dresses, pink flowery tops etc and I am yet to see a baby boy dressed in his sister's hand-me-downs, not even pink baby grows or leggins!

(Not sure what I would have done as had a boy first so am reusing everything, but it doesn't bother me if people assume she is a boy)

I buy lots of boys clothes for my DD because she likes dinosaurs, bob the builder, buzz lightyear and pirates.
She hates wearing frocks.
She does like hello kitty clothes too.

As an aside, I always think it's a shame when people judge parents for dressing their baby girl in pink and sparkly, it would not be my taste but is a no less valid clothing choice than batman wellies, just the parent's taste.

When I was little I used to love boys clothes, you know the military type shirts with labels on, and trousers. I used to want to be a soldier or sailor and did not like stereotypical girls clothes.

BrokenSunglasses, you've hit the nail on the head there. In two years I've barely had a problem finding DD clothes that aren't overly pink and sparkly, it's actually very easy to find lots of tops and jeans in bright, neutral colours. But the one area I do struggle is coats and shoes - both seem to be overly 'girly' and not my taste (and don't even get me started on those bloody Mary Jane's Clark's sell...) so she has always worn boys coats and boys shoes.

So when I buy things like superhero, dinosaur, car logoed clothes it feels as though it might just be tipping over the edge somewhere.

Wilson, yes, it's so annoying that you have to separately chose to look first in the boys section, then in the girls section. Hunting for coats last night I kept thinking, I just want to see the bloody ski jackets, surely they can't be gender specific, it's the same coat in a dozen colours!

But, but, but, though... I buy my clothes from women's clothing shops. I buy women's clothes. I wear skirts and dresses and blouses and all kinds of clothes that are considered women's clothes, and I don't personally have any strong opinions about this in the way that I do about children's clothes. I like skirts, why don't I like my daughter in skirts? Why is that? Is it to do with body shape, that for 10 years or so it doesn't matter what style they are wearing? Why are differences in clothing seen as quite normal for adults but a bone of contention when it comes to children?

I think I'm confusing myself here...

You can get plenty of non pink stuff in the "girls" section. Eg hennes and next are pretty good IMO. Also gap.

I dress dd in her brother's old cast offs. I know some people who dress their dd's as "mini me", complete with little top knots, ridiculous shoes etc. that is sad

I don't think what you are doing is making a statement. You are buying things that you like. And as others have said the time will come very soon when your DD will have her own views - which in my experience will involve no end of 'character' tops and t shirts etc (think an array of Peppa Pig and Hello Kitty logos).

FWIW when DD1 and DD2 were small I liked to dress them in dresses but was not drawn particularly to pink either so tended to go for "traditional' smocks in soft materials in blues and greens and reds. They looked a bit 'different' but I wasn't making a statement - just buying things I liked. They are 12 and 9 now and dress the same as all their friends.

DS is 2.2. Last winter I took him out wearing brown cords a blue checked shirt and a blue coat and boots. One lady commented 'oh. What a pretty little girl!' Must have been his long(ish) blonde wavy hair. That's not a statement either.

Enjoy yourself doing as it pleases you while you can!

My 10yo dd has mainly clothes labelled girls but some labelled boy, by her own choice. She's always loved her older brother's old t-shirts so nicks her choice of those from the charity bag but also enjoys things like Minecraft and Portal and those t-shirts seem to be labelled as boys but she gets them anyway.

MN overthinks children's clothing in general I have 3 daughters and have never had an issue with finding clothing that I or they like. Mine mainly wear leggings and tunics/ tops. If they want to dress in head to toe pink that's fine. I don't think their brains will fall out of their ears if they wear pink or glittery or tops with cats/dogs/rabbits/ bloody horses on them. I see absolutely no difference in a Hello Kitty top and a Batman one.

My 2.7 year old loves skirts and jersey dresses - it hadn't restricted any of the stuff she does and it has made potty training so much easier.

Don't worry- in a couple of months time you will not be able to get her to wear anything she doesn't like! I had visions of a gorgeous little tomboy in miniature Levi's and Timberlands and big jumpers. Ha!

Her first complete sentence was "I not wear that" and after that I settled for whatever I could get her to wear that was furthest removed from the "Trailer Trash Barbie" look she favoured.

She is now 17, and her style icon is Audrey Hepburn. So there is hope.

DD is 3.5 and loves character t-shirts, the only problem is that it is all the boys characters. I've also noticed 'boys' jeans are more hard wearing than the girls equivalent. The only difference is girls are thinner and have flowers or something rather than just plain

curlew We recently bought some PJs with sparkly bunnies on and the excited look she gets when I put her in them suggests that at some point in the not to distant future she's going to demand sparkles all the way...

But there's a world of nuance within adult clothing, some justified (I really don't look good in men's trousers, they aren't cut for my shape), some habitual (I know I'm a 12 in women's clothing, no idea what I am in men's) and masses of cultural/gender issues (which you don't need me to tell you about!).

A 2 yo boy and a 2 yo girl have identical body shapes. There is no good reason for them to have different ranges of tops/bottoms/coats/whatever. The only reason there are different ranges are cultural/gender ones. So the fact you shop in the women's department for yourself isn't really all that relevant to the fact you still have to zig zag through boy's and girl's to find a plain ski jacket in a nice cheerful colour

I was thinking about this today. Due to have a baby girl in November and have a DS. I always thought that if I'd have a girl it would be so much easier to dress her, as the boy's section in most shops is |----| < this big.

However I'm actually struggling! It turns out the massive girls sections in shops are all bulk and no substance, all of it is plastered in neon bunnies and sequinned bows. If there was a law saying you had to shop for girls' clothes, I'd be pissed off, but as it goes I reckon I'm just gonna buy what I like, label be damned.

Definitely try H&M, kirjava, they do fantastic stuff and lots of girls clothes in bright colours. MIL sends us parcels from Morrisons (not sure what the brand is there) and they are always fab, all purples, ochras and greens.

You can get round the problem entirely by buying from places that don't have a 'boys' and 'girls' sections. There are some great kids clothes places like www.loveitloveitloveit.co.uk/ that just divide clothes by age, style and colour, not gender, so you don't have to trawl through two departments. If you want trousers you only need to look at the trouser section, not boys trousers and girls trousers.

My 3 yo ds loves his woollen leggings and chooses them over trousers any day. They are quite boyish stereotype though with cars etc on

I've just had a DD after having a DS, she's going to be wearing a lot of boys clothes - although I hate pink and I've realised it's actually quite hard to find baby clothes that are aimed at girls without some pink on it somewhere (green or yellow dresses will have pink buttons or stitching for example, oddly, when manufacturers make boys clothes with main colour not blue don't feel the need to add blue details, e.g green dungerees will have green buttons if aimed at boys, but green dungerees in the girls section will have pink buttons, and probably a pink lining too)

Anyway, I wouldn't assume you were making a political statement about "pink stinks" or anything like that, I'd assume your DD has an older brother or older male cousin and it was hand-me-downs. (And if it looked obviously new, I'd think your older DS or DN was very good at looking after their clothes!)

I got told off for using a grey and pink mclaren for my DS, he's 8 months old FFS

I am concerned that if DC2 is a girl I'm going to be inundated by gaudy pink shite. Once a child is old enough to chose it themselves that's fine, but personally I can't stand it, plus glitter and sequins on clothes for very small children is just a bad idea surely??

Are you sequinned Curlew