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Original poster

was i right to tell my ds not to apologise to this woman??

578 replies

mummyjs · 09/09/2013 21:22

my ds (4) and i were in the chemist waiting for a prescription.
my ds was stood by the door pressing the button to open it for people to come in and out and smiling at them and chatting away, people were saying than you and he was smiling and saying your welcome ect.
Anyway this older lady came in and he opened the door for him and she gave him a horrible look and barged past him. He said to her 'its nice to say thank you', which is something i drill into him so i suppose its my fault in a way. anyway she shouted at him 'how dare you speak to a adult that way' and then told me that i should control him and make him say sorry to her.
I have to admit my back was put up by the nasty tone in her voice and told her that i would not tell him to apologise, he was right, its rude not to say thank you and that a woman of her age should not need a lesson in manners from a 4 year old.
anyway she barged back out saying something along the lines of parents who dont control their kids ect.
was i being unreasonable? if he had of said anything rude to her then of course i would have made him say sorry, but i honestly dont think he was the rude one in this??

OP posts:
bottleofbeer · 10/09/2013 13:49

I'm truly amazed at how many people seem to be second guessing this woman's reason for being a grouch and coming to the conclusion that not only is the child a cheeky little git and she's probably got a festering leg ulcer - but actually thinking it's ok to call him that.

It is entirely possible she really was just an old cow.

bottleofbeer · 10/09/2013 13:49

I'm truly amazed at how many people seem to be second guessing this woman's reason for being a grouch and coming to the conclusion that not only is the child a cheeky little git and she's probably got a festering leg ulcer - but actually thinking it's ok to call him that.

It is entirely possible she really was just an old cow.

BangOn · 10/09/2013 13:50

Biscuit obviously

Sirzy · 10/09/2013 13:50

Op I am pleased you have seen that there were errors all round!

Floggingmolly · 10/09/2013 13:51

Probably keeps him safe from horrible, screaming, witch like 50 year olds old ladies, BangOn.

PresidentServalan · 10/09/2013 13:52

And am still confused as to why the woman is being slagged off - her only 'crime' was that she didn't play along with a kid's game - and the child does need to learn some manners.

bottleofbeer · 10/09/2013 13:55

I think his manners sound great. He's got a better idea of when it's appropriate to thank somebody than this 50 year old probably toothless and bald old witch.

littlemisswise · 10/09/2013 13:55

They aren't four anymore, Flogging, they are 18&16. But they have never been shouted at by strangers!

BabyX · 10/09/2013 13:56

Yabu to think your child was doing anything other than playing with a button. People who thanked him were just playing along and making a bit of a fuss of him. People who didn't thank him were getting on with their day, unaware of precocious children who need to be praised and marvelled at for the slightest achievement. Or, you know, maybe they were ill and couldn't give a shit about you.

If I was that woman and your child pulled me up on my manners I would have given both him and you a Hmm face and a raised eyebrow and left it at that. She shouldn't have engaged with him over it. As the child's mother, I would have made him sit down and I wold have whispered to him that children do not comment upon the manners of adult strangers.

Floggingmolly · 10/09/2013 13:57
Grin
motherinferior · 10/09/2013 13:58

She was probably after a large pack of condoms for a hot date tonight and didn't want to be distracted. Even us Ancient Old Boots of over 50 can occasionally excite a spark in other people's loins, you know.

SilverStreak7 · 10/09/2013 14:00

lol .. Good on you motherinferior .. . . :)

FairOfFaceButFullOfWoe · 10/09/2013 14:00

He's 4 fgs! How can anyone call a 4 year old a cheeky git? Children of that age are hardly known for tact are they! They repeat EVERYTHING!

OP your son sounds sweet and the older lady sounds horrid. I think it's funny how a lot of the elderly seem to demand respect. I respect those whole earn and deserve it thank you, it's not down to age Hmm

motherinferior · 10/09/2013 14:03

50 is not elderly

And lots of four year olds are actually massive pains in the arse. Speaking as a mother of two.

bottleofbeer · 10/09/2013 14:04

Yeah but there are loads of ancient, decrepit 50 year olds who are also, a massive pain in the arse.

Speaking as a daughter of two of them.

SugarHut · 10/09/2013 14:04

I got myself into something a little similar, and was left feeling awful, although I kind of created the situation. I was entering a shop, as a couple were leaving. I pulled open the door, and both observed me, made eye contact, and walked straight through, with nil acknowledgement...not even doing that courtesy thing where you sort of take the door and hold it open after you go through it to allow the other person to go through after you (if you know what I mean.)

So, I said (intended to be under my breath, but came out louder than Jeremy Clarkson) "No really, you're welcome" and they both spun round and stared open mouthed in the street at me. For what seemed like an age. They had no manners (or at least worse manners) and I end up being the one feeling like an utter dick.

Ten points from Gryfinndor Confused

CeliaLytton · 10/09/2013 14:05

What I meant, gruntfuttoc,k was that even if the woman was aware the door was being held open by the 4yo, she didn't say thank you which would have been nice but the OP is supposed to teach her child manners, not to teach a total stranger who may well have just been fed up and not wanting to interact with anyone, be it an 'adorable' 4yo or not!

motherinferior · 10/09/2013 14:08

I really do not know any people of my age whom I would describe as either 'ancient' or 'decrepit'. Pains in the arse, possibly, but hardly decrepit.

everlong · 10/09/2013 14:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Floggingmolly · 10/09/2013 14:11

50 is not elderly
When you're young, anyone even 10 years older seems ancient. So, if op is in her 20's; it's perfectly possible that the wizened old crone in question was about 36...

bottleofbeer · 10/09/2013 14:12

Nor do I.

I'm just being a facetious cahhhh today :)

aderynlas · 10/09/2013 14:12

Are women really deemed elderly at 50. Makes me think i should get out the shawl and knitting . It doesnt take alot to be nice to a little four year old a smile doesnt hurt does it. However who knows what was going on in this ladies life not everyone is having a good day and would rather not bother. Right off surfing now ops almost forgot how very old i am.

motherinferior · 10/09/2013 14:14

My money's on the hot date. In which case you did her a favour by reminding her just how very much she wanted to keep the evening's shenanigans without consequence. Just think, OP, as you were wearily reading The Tiger Who Came To Tea yet again, she was swinging from the chandeliers in skimpy lingerie. We older wimmin are like that Grin

bottleofbeer · 10/09/2013 14:15

Go and have a little nanna nap aderynlas xx

bottleofbeer · 10/09/2013 14:17

Or perhaps she'd already had her hot night of passion and found the lube disagreed with her (we all know how 50 year olds need lube) she could have had serious ring string.

Not bloody surprised she was in a shit mood.

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