DS 13 upset about no internet at night? AIBU or is he?

[fridgealwaysfull]

Hi
DS is 13 and has had a major tantrum tonight, he's still going on about it. DH and I have decided that it's not good for him to take his phone/ipod to bed and chat to his friends on snapchat/facetime etc til he decides to fall asleep. We've told him he can use the internet til 9.30pm and then it's off, he can either listen to music or read...aibu? he's reacted as if it's the worst thing that could ever happen to him. He's our eldest and I'm beginning to wonder if we've done the right thing

Feminjne yes agree my 4 are aged 24 to 13 and really probably been lucky but they seem to have/are managing technology in their lives.

I can't see any difference Valium if you are comparing the late nights of reading with a torch or face timing late at night. the teen is still awake? unless its seen as more mumsnet to have an avid reader

I do think parents get knickers in a bit if a twist over technology that wasn't around when we were kids.

seriously can't imagine monitoring a 17 year old like this.

see how crap I am at technology

Look at the links about blue light.

That's the difference between computers and books.

very big difference to be reading a book instead of chatting to friends. I don't mind if he reads for an hour before he falls asleep (my wish!) but to be chatting and facetiming his friends at 10.30pm on a school night is a waste of time and something that's not good for his sleep
Well, just an update...he came in from school sulking and in a right mood. He thinks he can manipulate me into giving in...Ha! No chance.

I'm sure he'll get over it at some point but he did say I was making his life a misery and that he wished he could have his old life back... hmmm!

"Feminjne yes agree my 4 are aged 24 to 13 and really probably been lucky but they seem to have/are managing technology in their lives."

This may be because they are already decreasing the amount of screen use before bedtime or it could be that they are "managing" but still aren't getting the optimum amount or quality of sleep they could have.

In addition lower melatonin levels have been linked with serious diseases in people like night shift workers who experience the lower levels for many years. You wouldn't know whether they were affected or not yet!

not bad Valium!!however until today my iPhone icons worked in mumsnet and today they don't.

so reader please do one.

educating, well you may be right but oldest has a degree in mechanics and engineering and has been accepted as an officer in the Royal Navy.
younger one is in course for a first class degree in business management.

teen girls are doing just fine too thanks.

You're doing the right thing OP, and I'd have been very annoyed at him turning the router back on.

I would implement: all devices to be left downstairs at night, password protect the router and set it so he can't log on after a certain time anyway, and have a talk about disreapecting rules. Decide in advance (together with your husband, obv) what punishments/rewards he gets for behaving and communicate these clearly to him, that way everyone knows where they stand.

He's just done himself a massive disservice by proving he can't be trusted! So stick to your guns

Yes and show him the science links so he knows it isn't just you being mean!

he definatly shouldn't have defied you. that's disrespectful and he should abide by the house rules.

to be honest I wouldn't go quoting the science links as in my experience most people believe something and find the science to back it up be it computer perils or attachment parenting and rarely look at the science and then decide.

One of the links is from Scientific American thebody so respected peer reviewed scientific journal, not any old internet "science" - of course people may choose not to believe it, but it is based on reputable scientific research not dodgy "microwaves from outer space will get me unless I hang crystals in my windows" stuff.

Blue light from screens does affect melatonin levels and very prolonged periods of reduced melatonin have been linked with a variety of diseased in people like long-term night shift workers.

For me the main reason to limit Internet is so that they do read. Way better to be reading under the covers than fannying around on FaceTime all night!

If I give mine (pre-teen) the passwords to my iPad or computer they just play dumb games for hours and hours and do nothing else. I've got nothing against the games in principle but they're pretty brain dead. Mine admit they have more fun when they're not allowed screen time or just don't get any because we're on holiday in the country. But if it's there then they're drawn like moths to a flame. I think the strict rules are good and they will appreciate them in the end.