DS 13 upset about no internet at night? AIBU or is he?

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Hi
DS is 13 and has had a major tantrum tonight, he's still going on about it. DH and I have decided that it's not good for him to take his phone/ipod to bed and chat to his friends on snapchat/facetime etc til he decides to fall asleep. We've told him he can use the internet til 9.30pm and then it's off, he can either listen to music or read...aibu? he's reacted as if it's the worst thing that could ever happen to him. He's our eldest and I'm beginning to wonder if we've done the right thing

Take it off them. If they didn't voluntarily leave it downstairs, I'd take it and they wouldn't be getting it back, for a long time, no matter how much they moaned.

There's no screen time after 8.30 in this house. Apart from me if course

Of course it's the worst thing ever but tough! As I tell my 12 year old. We let him take laptop or iPod touch to bed over the holidays but implemented ban a few days before school went back.

He didn't put up much of a fight really.

DS1 is 13 and his access to our wi-fi automatically stops at 9pm.

He would need to know our password in order to override this.

yes, I'm quite proud that I've managed to keep the computer downstairs in the playroom and the xbox in the sitting room and yet he's been taking his ipod and phone, both little computers, to bed every night for the past year and a half! What a mug honestly.....

Oh yes
dd is 17 and ds 14.
New rule for this term is once they've gone to bed, all tablets, phones etc are downstairs.

Surprisingly it's met with no resistance.

Xbox controller n phone off ds's is in my room to charge at half 8 on a school night (he's almost 12)

My DD1(15 now) is a total night owl, so was I.

I have always declined to worry about pre midnight reading, dr who watching or best friend face timing. BF is a year older and 'surprisingly' her, usually protective mum, has never complained.

In any case, if DD1 stays up idiotically late it's because she was reading, not on the net. She has been known to slip her light back on and read to silly am. I'm not bringing her books down every night.

DD2(12) is warned off late night texting as some of her friends's mum's do mind. She tends to be asleep 10.30-11pm anyway.

Right, guess I'll be turning the router off now! I'll be changing the password tomorrow, can't be bothered to do it now after the stress this evening. Thanks for all your help :)

I'm sure 9.30 or I'd probably say 10 PM is a perfectly reasonable rule, if your DS is grumpy without sleep.

However, if it's just a rule because you feel you ought to have a rule you are likely to back yourself into a corner.

ThreeBee. How do you do that?

Do stick to your guns. No devices in bedrooms in this house, and kids' wifi is password protected so timed. Except on the telly, but that's in the middle of the house so v.easy to control. Apart from anything, fannying around on the net the whole time is such a waste of time you could be doing something else. In fact I'm switching off right now and going to read my book!

On "school nights" all internet enabled devices are on my bedside table at 9pm. On Fri &Sat it's 10pm.
Laptops live in the kitchen/dining room, don't go upstairs and have a timed access only we partents can set.
Dc are 12 and 14.
Afaik this is common practice for many of their friends, and some don't have their own laptops.

You are right. The light from screens interferes with melatonin production and means you don't sleep as wee, even when you stop. 9.30 is actually quite late as before then it will still be affecting melatonin production also applies to mntters

well not wee!

Definitely doing the right thing!

Tell your DS that at the boarding school I went to the children his age had to be upstairs at 9:15, in bed with lights off at 9:30. Phones were locked away in the housemistress' study (and they check for fake phones), no music. If everyone was in bed on time and quiet there was a 'bonus' 15 minutes to read.

In the year below (so the year you turn 13, rather than the year you turn 14) they were in bed with the lights out at 9.

You are doing the right thing, OP. Stick with it.

You're doing the right thing but I think my DH just disabled the internet gateway on his laptop and you know after a week, waiting for Bob the IT chap to come round dS agreed. Pick year battles and use a bit of savvy OP

CHJR- you made me chuckle :D

Just had same issue with DS, also 13. He's been going to bed but Facebook chatting until all hours - usually inappropriate, stupid stuff - with all his friends.

I'm putting a stop by taking iPod touch & phone off him when at 10pm (and checking the chats for inappropriate content!)

Something to do with the router software and blocking his MAC address at certain times of day. I think. Can you tell that I wasn't the one who set it up?

A friend has a 17 year old - she hands over her phone and laptop at 10pm every night. I plan on doing this with DSs when they are older.

MAC

I turn the Internet off as well. He would be up to all hours if I didn't.

Stick to your guns OP he'll get used to it.

Use the tantrums to your advantage - say next time you complain all tech is staying downstairs at nighttime. Hopefully he will kick off just one more time and then bingo you have your rule in place about tech now staying downstairs at night time - at least on school nights (or whenever you want it to be!)

And then if he doesn't realise you are serious, take half an hour of the time each time. You've just discovered a really powerful carrot and stick - use them to your advantage while you can