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AIBU?

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Original poster

man shouted at my 3 year old for kicking

999 replies

ghostspirit · 08/09/2013 14:53

I took my children to chessington. and was in que for the ride. my 3 year old daughter had been kicking the man in front of us. ( i had not seen) He turned and shouted at her 'stop kicking me,don't you dare kick me' his tone and voulume of voice was a bit over the top. I told my daughter you don't kick its naughty. Then i told him she is 3 years old if there is a problem you talk to me not her. The woman who was with him said they have to be firm with their child because of some special needs he has and i said that may be your situation and you may need to talk to your son that way, But that does not mean its ok to talk to my child that way.

OP posts:
mrsjay · 08/09/2013 16:38

OP maybe you need to accept that your child can be naughty like most children and learn to accept that other random people will not put up with a naughty kid kicking them, the majority don't agree with you the majority is saying your child was badly behaved an accidental kick is fine but constant kicking at somebody is not on, she was behaving badly accept that she is 3 not a baby and sometimes her behaviour will not be accepted as some sort of learning curve, people will not put up with it

usualsuspect · 08/09/2013 16:38

She will be expelled from school before she's 4 Grin

duchessandscruffy · 08/09/2013 16:38

I also agree that shouting all the time is pointless as it just ends up falling on deaf ears. But sometimes, kids just need a good old bollocking, especially if they are hurting someone, not just a 'rational chat' to discuss how violence towards another person is not acceptable blah blah blah (bil and sil I am looking at you here.....)

moanalot · 08/09/2013 16:38

It's not going to be any way damaging to a child if a stranger tells it off if its deserved. It's all part of growing up and lessons are often learned this way and not forgotten. She was kicking someone and obviously getting away with it. The man telling her off might just teach her that the behavior was unacceptable. yabu.

YouTheCat · 08/09/2013 16:39

Yeah yeah.

And you are ignoring some very pertinent questions. Hmm

Original poster
ghostspirit · 08/09/2013 16:39

have i at any pint said that my daughter kicking was ok???

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 08/09/2013 16:39

Yes. I also agree with MrsDeVeres interpretation of what the couple in front said. And about the 'needing it' jibe.

Fwiw I am on the thread because I disagree with you and I am bored. I multitask.

Golferman · 08/09/2013 16:40

Damn, I have run out of popcorn...... Grin

mrsjay · 08/09/2013 16:40

i told her that. the adult should also not have shouted at her... seems your only seeing the bits you want to

he told her off she got a telling off for being naughty we all are seeing the whole picture from the info you are giving, grow up accept other people will not tolerate your childs annoying behaviour

Johnny5needsinput · 08/09/2013 16:40

In my ex-SIL case, the cousin actually PHYSICALLY REMOVED her little darling from a dangerous situation. When SIL thinks he should have talked to her little darling and explained and not physically touched the child to remove him from the situation. According to DD cousin was very cross and shouted and came in the house and shouted at SIL and BIL and Granny too. Because they all were not watching the 4 year old.

I think I luffs the cousin.

ilovecolinfirth · 08/09/2013 16:40

To be honest, a stranger telling your daughter off would have had a greater impact therefore she's been taught not to. Embarassing as it was he did you a favour. However by you telling him off back has been counter-productive. She may possibly believe now that you will always back her up.my 3 year old wouldn't kick anyone. 3 is old enough to know better.

insancerre · 08/09/2013 16:40

shouting is not violence
not a one-off situation where a raised voice is needed
the same as grabbing a child to stop them hurting themselves or other people is not physical abuse
sometimes people do need to shout
if you keep it for very special occasions then it can be very effective

gordyslovesheep · 08/09/2013 16:41

GHOSTSPIRIT what where you doing while she was kicking a complete stranger? why did you not notice?

Misspixietrix · 08/09/2013 16:41

MrsJay Its when you explained who was the one with SN's I thought it was the Man. It bloody hurts when DS has kicked me before Clarks Shoes are like Steel Toecaps when plunged into Mummys shins mid-tantrum . Yes. I shouted ~

usualsuspect · 08/09/2013 16:41

Classic MN pile in.

I'm off.

SHarri13 · 08/09/2013 16:41

How did your daughter react to him telling her to stop ghost spirit?

GaryBuseysTeeth · 08/09/2013 16:42

How will you cope with teachers telling her off?
Or, if she ever got into trouble, the plod?

If my dcs were behaving badly, I wouldn't mind if someone shouted at them. At least you've always got 'The Man from Chessington' to threaten her with. Grin

Yabvu btw.

mrsjay · 08/09/2013 16:42

OH ok Miss thants ok Smile

ilovesooty · 08/09/2013 16:42

usualsuspect Sun 08-Sep-13 16:10:51

I think.OP has got the message now.

Doesn't look like it.

HeySoulSister · 08/09/2013 16:42

you didn't notice her kicking?? was she not holding your hand? standing close? her body would be jerking as she kicked her foot out.....how cant you notice that?

duchessandscruffy · 08/09/2013 16:44

You still haven't defined the 'shouting'. If he started screaming in her face, and violently threatening her for kicking then that is not acceptable. If he said 'stop kicking me, don't you dare kick' in a raised voice and a harsh tone (as you stated in your op) then good on him I say!

usualsuspect · 08/09/2013 16:44

Well,I'm sure plenty more will pile in to tell her.

Complete with digs,about 'rough schools and children called Whitney'

MrsDeVere · 08/09/2013 16:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ivykaty44 · 08/09/2013 16:44

I disagree with you and if you don't like it then don't come o a public forum and ask for opinion

BoneyBackJefferson · 08/09/2013 16:45

ghostspirit

"why not just tell me??"

Because he thought that you would continue to be useless??

As for the shouting, I suspect that he raised his voice or used a stern voice but probably did not shout.

I wonder how long you would expect him to continue being kicked before you either noticed or said anything to you?