Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

man shouted at my 3 year old for kicking

999 replies

ghostspirit · 08/09/2013 14:53

I took my children to chessington. and was in que for the ride. my 3 year old daughter had been kicking the man in front of us. ( i had not seen) He turned and shouted at her 'stop kicking me,don't you dare kick me' his tone and voulume of voice was a bit over the top. I told my daughter you don't kick its naughty. Then i told him she is 3 years old if there is a problem you talk to me not her. The woman who was with him said they have to be firm with their child because of some special needs he has and i said that may be your situation and you may need to talk to your son that way, But that does not mean its ok to talk to my child that way.

OP posts:
mrsjay · 08/09/2013 15:56

Did I read your OP correctly the Man in front had SN's ~

there son had SN the mum said to the poster (i think)

fanoftheinvisibleman · 08/09/2013 15:56

YABU.

Totally agree with your comment that you can't watch your kids all the time. Nobody is perfect I agree. But three years old is old enough to learn you'll face a stern telling off for kicking.

You say she is three and only learning. Exactly! So she kicks a stranger and he shouts at her. So she had a chance to learn about the consequences of her actions. You think he should have done it as she is only three, where do you personally draw the line? Six or seven?

You say two wrongs don't make a right but I don't think he did anything wrong.

littlemisswise · 08/09/2013 15:56

I think she probably was too, YoutheCat.

mrsjay · 08/09/2013 15:57

I am unsure how loud the shouting was maybe the man was just so irritated he was short and to the point rather than shouting

gordyslovesheep · 08/09/2013 15:58

None of my 3 children has ever kicked a stranger - they are far from perfect

I think it IS perfectly possible to watch a child in a line - it's not as if you have anything else to do

AnneEyhtMeyer · 08/09/2013 15:59

I think it is very telling that the man's partner felt she had to tell the OP that they even have to discipline their own child (with SN) to stop him misbehaving - she was obviously trying to get the OP to realise that every parent must take responsibility for their child's behaviour. This shows it must have been repeated kicking.

sarahtigh · 08/09/2013 16:01

why didn't you apologise?

SlobAtHome · 08/09/2013 16:01

My boy is very boisterous and can be a real handful and I have struggled with him in public, but he has NEVER hit/kicked an adult stranger. Ever. That is totally bizarre. This is a child that gets away with thing.

You don't explain to a three year old that kicking a stranger is wrong. That deserves an immediate, age appropriate punishment. A good telling off at the very least.

A few people have said they would be mortified at such behaviour.

Think about that.

SHarri13 · 08/09/2013 16:02

It's so hard to say who was U without knowing the exact situation.

I'd have been raging at my child for kicking and mortified and would have made said child apologise but I can see why the OP felt annoyed. I just feel there's a huge amount of bashing and judgement (phone suggestion as an example) going on that isn't called for.

Sirzy · 08/09/2013 16:03

It isn't hard to say who was being unreasonable at all. The op was fr how she reacted.

I also bet that the man didnt really shout that much becuse most people when they are annoyed have a tendency to exaggerate. I bet his side of the story would be very different!

SlobAtHome · 08/09/2013 16:04

You say that SHarri but as another poster said, there isn't much to do in a line BUT watch your kids. Unless you were too busy doing something else... say... playing with a phone?

LegoDragon · 08/09/2013 16:04

YABU. DD1 was a kicker at 2. No, shouting isn't nice or the best thing to do, but it IS understandable. At 3, yes, you are still learning. Maybe she's learnt that when you hurt someone, they will be angry. It seems she has been taught that when you hurt someone, it doesn't matter much because mum tells you it's naughty and that's it.

YouTheCat · 08/09/2013 16:04

Why is that not called for? If it wasn't the case the OP could come back and say she wasn't on her phone.

The fact the question has been ignored says a whole lot though.

freezation · 08/09/2013 16:06

AIBU?
Yes YABU.
No I'm not.
Yes you are.
No I'm not.
Yes you are...
Why bother posting if you aren't prepared to listen to others? You aren't going to change your mind so I don't see the point of this thread.

usualsuspect · 08/09/2013 16:10

I think.OP has got the message now.

littlemisswise · 08/09/2013 16:11

It speaks volumes that the OP has ignored repeated asking of what she was doing. If she was tending to one of her other DC should would have said. The fact she is ignoring the question suggests she was ignoring the DC by doing something else, such as playing on her phone.

Flicktheswitch · 08/09/2013 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maddy68 · 08/09/2013 16:12

I would have shouted at her too! How could you be in a queue and not chastise /notice her kicking someone!

Original poster
ghostspirit · 08/09/2013 16:14

fairdene... shouting is a form of violence and that was from an adult to a child. there has only been one or 2 people on here that have see my point. i have not at any point said my child was right to kick. there have been people on her who have said my child did it on purpose none of us know that not even me. she had never hurt anyone before. a lot of you are making alot of assumptions about me and my child.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 08/09/2013 16:14

You seriously would shout at a 3 year old?

I wouldn't.

Sirzy · 08/09/2013 16:15

there have only been one or 2 people agreeing with you you mean. Surely the fact that the vast majority think YABU says a lot?

usualsuspect · 08/09/2013 16:15

I expect she was just messing about and accidentally kicked him.

friday16 · 08/09/2013 16:16

"Are people not giving you the answers you want?"

Indeed. Nasty child, ineffectual enabling mother, man behaving perfectly reasonable. Most of us don't have to watch our children continuously to stop them from kicking random adults. The bloke probably assumed that the child was a brat whose mother was ineffectual, an assuming which would appear to be bang on the money.

Here's an idea, OP. Go into a pub. Walk up to someone. Kick them. Call us from A&E and let us know how it went. Just because you can't parent doesn't mean other people have to put up with brattish behaviour.

Oh, and good luck when they start school. "Adults can only talk to them through me" my arse.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 08/09/2013 16:16

im not saying he should not speak to her and tell her not to kick him, t was the shouting. i doubt every much he would have shouted at a grown man that way

OP posts:
Jessicarthorse · 08/09/2013 16:17

Just you wait, OP. You let this go and one day she'll be kicking you.

Bet you shout.