Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

man shouted at my 3 year old for kicking

999 replies

ghostspirit · 08/09/2013 14:53

I took my children to chessington. and was in que for the ride. my 3 year old daughter had been kicking the man in front of us. ( i had not seen) He turned and shouted at her 'stop kicking me,don't you dare kick me' his tone and voulume of voice was a bit over the top. I told my daughter you don't kick its naughty. Then i told him she is 3 years old if there is a problem you talk to me not her. The woman who was with him said they have to be firm with their child because of some special needs he has and i said that may be your situation and you may need to talk to your son that way, But that does not mean its ok to talk to my child that way.

OP posts:
mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 09/09/2013 09:47

As has been said repeatedly on this thread, it is NOT the measure of a perfect parent that their three year olds do not kick randoms. I am NOT a perfect parent, and my kids are not perfect, but at 3 they absolutely certainly would not have done that.

Grinch, oh my gosh, there are SO many three year olds out there who deliberately kick. Then most of their parents say "ooh, that's naughty, but I expect it was an accident" and go back to checking Facebook on their phones, whilst people glare at their kids and rub their aching shins. This is why their kids continue to kick. These are generally the kids who whack my kids at school. These are generally the kids who everybody else waits for to be quiet at school. I wish there were more people around who were willing to give these kids a telling off when their parents constantly make excuses for them.

usualsuspect · 09/09/2013 09:47

We have not established if the kick was accidental or not.

I think.we need cctv evidence.

Sirzy · 09/09/2013 09:47

I have a 3 year old, if he hurt someone else on purpose (and kicking is on purpose if you are in a line and not moving) then yes I would have expected them to tell him off, and then i would have moved him away until he realised why that was wrong.

lottieandmia · 09/09/2013 09:51

It's not ok to shout at a 3 year old. But she probably hurt him and he reacted in anger which is understandable really.

Does your dd kick people often? Also why the comment about the child with SEN? Children with special needs should be made more allowances for anyway, not less.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 09/09/2013 09:51

yes we do need cctv

sirzy it was a line so there would have been moving, people dont stand with their feet routed to the floor weather adult or child

OP posts:
littlemisswise · 09/09/2013 09:52

I have an 18 & 16 year old. They have never kicked anyone in a queue or hurt a stranger on purpose. If they had and the stranger had shouted at them, then they would have known there would have been no point bleating to me because they would have got told off by me too!

They are not perfect and nor am I!

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 09/09/2013 09:52

He could have responded better. Perhaps he even should have. I'd like to think I would.

But you cannot assume that people will, and the onus is not really on them to handle the situation in an ideal way.

treaclesoda · 09/09/2013 09:53

ghost I specifically said in my post that I wasn't accusing you of denying it Confused. The point I was making was that he didn't know how you would react.

You have said a few times that people are twisting your words and that its not fair. Its not fair to twist other people's words either.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 09/09/2013 09:53

lottieandmia. do you mean what i said about SEN children in my first post. if so i was just repeating what the woman had said. and no she has never kicked anyone before

OP posts:
littlemisswise · 09/09/2013 09:54

See, I think in queues people should keep their feet still, and that is what I have always told my children, because if you don't there is a bloody good chance you will kick someone!

Original poster
ghostspirit · 09/09/2013 09:55

soda i know i was agreeing with you.

OP posts:
magicturnip · 09/09/2013 09:55

I think adults should talk directly to children and not via adults. I thnk the world is better this way.
I don't think you can be expected to watch exactly what your dc feet are doing at all times.

lottieandmia · 09/09/2013 09:55

The way you said it was like you think it's normal for a child with SEN to be shouted at, but not your dd.

treaclesoda · 09/09/2013 09:55

oh, ok Blush I misunderstood your post. Sorry.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 09/09/2013 09:57

littlemisswise. dont you find that if your quing for a long time 30 mins plus. that the bottom of your feet start to hurt and you need to move about a little? unless you nail a 3 year old to the floor they will move

OP posts:
Fairdene · 09/09/2013 09:58

I used the term vicious assault because a vicious kick is precisely that. The OP needs to get a grip if she thinks it's normal for a three year old to do what she did, bored or not. It absolutely isn't normal and there must be a reason for the child being vicious. OP is using one hell of a big euphemism when she passes this off a 'naughty'. Other stuff is naughty, this is vicious. Carry on like that and the child will be ostracised at schoo and quite right too. No-one should have to put up with being kicked and especially not where there's a mother on hand who should be paying attention.

friday16 · 09/09/2013 09:58

"dont you find that if your quing for a long time 30 mins plus. that the bottom of your feet start to hurt and you need to move about a little? unless you nail a 3 year old to the floor they will move"

So here's an idea: don't queue for thirty minutes with three year olds who would, by your own admission, rather be on the train than on the ride. Go and play in the park instead, and save a hundred quid.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 09/09/2013 09:59

So now not only did she kick him (I thought that was now in doubt? Confused) but kicking is what any child whose feet aren't nailed down will do?

HeyUGuys · 09/09/2013 09:59

Yanbu, he should have spoken to you first not took it upon himself to shout at your child.
What if your child had special needs, my db is autistic an a stranger shouting at him would terrify him.

Only if you hadnt done anything to stop your ds after he had told you would i think it was ok for him to speak to your ds, an even then not to shout.

Would he shout at another grown man for knocking into him, i think not.

littlemisswise · 09/09/2013 10:00

No not really, because in a queue at a theme park you do move quite frequently, you are not standing still in one spot for 30 minutes. If your 3yo is bored and fidgety it is your job to occupy her so she is not swinging her legs about just incase she kicks someone!

PeachesandStrawberry · 09/09/2013 10:00

Oh dear. Some people on here really are perfect parents and have never had to deal with a naughty child.

OP; I can understand if the man was in pain and shouted. Still he should have

spoken to you first.

it seems that some people on here just like to stick the boot in.
The child is 3 FFS.

mrsjay · 09/09/2013 10:01

Oh so now she was in the Queue too long and was moving her feet about, I give up I really do,

Original poster
ghostspirit · 09/09/2013 10:01

friday it was a treat for my children i went to chessington.

fairdene. i cant even find any words for you anymore

OP posts:
mrsjay · 09/09/2013 10:02

h dear. Some people on here really are perfect parents and have never had to deal with a naughty child.

Why do people always drag out when people disagree nobody actually said they were so perfect that their children were never naughty.

Thepowerof3 · 09/09/2013 10:03

Fairdene I can't take anything you say seriously and I bet most others will struggle, criminal responsibility! I'm still laughing