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Original poster

man shouted at my 3 year old for kicking

999 replies

ghostspirit · 08/09/2013 14:53

I took my children to chessington. and was in que for the ride. my 3 year old daughter had been kicking the man in front of us. ( i had not seen) He turned and shouted at her 'stop kicking me,don't you dare kick me' his tone and voulume of voice was a bit over the top. I told my daughter you don't kick its naughty. Then i told him she is 3 years old if there is a problem you talk to me not her. The woman who was with him said they have to be firm with their child because of some special needs he has and i said that may be your situation and you may need to talk to your son that way, But that does not mean its ok to talk to my child that way.

OP posts:
Awomansworth · 08/09/2013 22:10

Hassled Couldn't agree more.

Floggingmolly · 08/09/2013 22:11

You didn't punish any of your children, isn't that kind of the point? Confused

Sirzy · 08/09/2013 22:11

You wouldn't have needed to go home though. Just leave the queue find somewhere quite and explain to her exactly what she had done wrong and that if she did it again then you would go home and that because she had been naughty she could no longer go on that ride.

ilovesooty · 08/09/2013 22:12

So you would not have been able to explain to them that you had had to take that step because of their sister's poor behaviour?

Fairdene · 08/09/2013 22:13

SilverStreak four kids is not a lot of kids for a reasonably competent parent to manage. The OP had no excuse for her inattention that she's yet explained. Her kid was vicious and people going for a day out with their kids should reasonably be able to expect to stand in a queue without having someone else's kid kick their legs. It's not a question of me getting a life, it's a question of the OP getting a grip of her own kids so other innocent strangers aren't hurt. I've had enough three year olds of my own to know that this behaviour isn't normal. It just isn't, sorry. Which is why the OP may do well to question where it comes from.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 08/09/2013 22:15

why would i punish the others they had not done anything wrong :/ and my daughter got a telling of and a few mins later had to sit in her buggy.

its odd how alot of you think that my other children should be punished because of what my daughter done.

OP posts:
OneStepCloser · 08/09/2013 22:15

Christ, this is just getting really silly, OP hide the thread Smile

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/09/2013 22:16

Ghostspirit - if it were me, being kicked, I would pass off one kick as an accident, and would not say anything. It would take several before I was driven to act - hence my assumption that it was more than one kick.

I am not sure what the rest of your post means - are you accusing me of twisting things you have said or being nasty or sarcastic towards you or your child? Perhaps you missed my post where I said I wouldn't have marched my child straight home after the incident.

Fairdene · 08/09/2013 22:17

It's not punishment for the others. You simply apologise to them and say because of what [DD] did we can't stay, sorry.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 08/09/2013 22:19

ilovesooty. no i could not explain it to them well i could use the words. but when it comes down to it i would still be punishing them for something my daughter done.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 08/09/2013 22:20

I think some posters on this thread are enjoying kicking the OP a little too much.

OP did her best in the situation.

I've never read such a load of sanctimonious bollocks in my life.

FamiliesShareGerms · 08/09/2013 22:22

I'm not sure how DD was punished at all for kicking and then touching the man's bag, apart from an ineffectual "that's naughty".

Being put in the buggy after the ride isn't a useful punishment, in fact it's sendingout a very contradictory message: it's ok to kick because you still get to go on the ride; but I'm randomly putting in the buggy you hate afterwards.

OP, your choice not to punish DD in a way that impacts on the others, but that choice has a consequence which is that DD and your other children know that they can get away with pretty much anything when you are all out together.

Fairdene · 08/09/2013 22:22

Was it unusual for you to go out with all four on your own?

SilverStreak7 · 08/09/2013 22:23

Hear Hear usualsuspect.

I noted an Admin had asked people to stop attacking the poster , , can attack the post but not poster . A fair few on here are very much like schoolyard bullies

Original poster
ghostspirit · 08/09/2013 22:25

families my daughter does not like the buggy she does not like having a ride there for she was punished.

did the man get punished for shouting and being aggressive to a 3 year old oh no he would not be.

OP posts:
Permanentlyexhausted · 08/09/2013 22:25

Punishing all the children for one's misbehaviour can be very effective since peer pressure or, in this case, sibling pressure, can produce better results than being told off by a grown-up. Not all the time but it can be useful in certain circumstances.

I have told other people's children off in the past if their behavior is affecting someone else (usually my children). People often react like you have but I think it is a sad indictment of society if people feel they cannot or should not stop bad behavior.

Fairdene · 08/09/2013 22:25

To be fair usualsuspect you can't know that the OP did her best. She may have taken a familiar line of least resistance. Those two things are not the same.

As far as I can see the only mitigating factor is that this was Chessington. That's bound to induce stress.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 08/09/2013 22:26

fairdene. im always on my own with them

OP posts:
Fairdene · 08/09/2013 22:29

That's not great OP. Being always on your own with four kids is stressful. You didn't help yourself by going to Chessington either. What are their ages?

SpecialAgentCuntSnake · 08/09/2013 22:30

To the posters saying 'man should not have shouted' It could have been an involuntary reaction from pain. When I stub my toe I don't think to do anything but lament my pain to the world Grin

I'm just saying he may have shouted (if it wasn't just a stern tone) involuntarily.

SpecialAgentCuntSnake · 08/09/2013 22:31

X-Post. Like I said Ghost, it could very well have been a reflex to pain.

veryhairymary · 08/09/2013 22:33

I think it's very easy to feel overprotective over younger children.

A teacher really bellowed at my younger sister at school and I wanted to belt him; she was so scared. But she was misbehaving.

How dare he upset my sister was my reaction, and to this day I feel the same. I make excuses for her behavior - she was only young etc but she was breaking school rules.

I understand that the man shouting at your child upset you - but he might have had a reason to be annoyed.

You didn't see what actually happened. That doesn't mean anything against your parenting skills, you can't watch children 100% of the time and see everything they get up to - it's not possible.

I'd try and get friends to go along with you next time as it will make it less stressful.

Bearbehind · 08/09/2013 22:35

Why the fuck should the man be punished for shouting at your child because he was kicking her.

You clearly think you are right and your child us above anything but a mild response.

Really, defending things like this will ultimately end badly but you will clearly only learn that the hard way.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 08/09/2013 22:36

i was not stressed at all it was quite a nice day part from the kicking/shouting thing.

OP posts:
FreudiansSlipper · 08/09/2013 22:36

he should have just said in a firm voice please do not kick me, the op i am sure would have apologised

no yelling was needed of course anyone is going to get defensive over their 3 year old child