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AIBU?

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Original poster

man shouted at my 3 year old for kicking

999 replies

ghostspirit · 08/09/2013 14:53

I took my children to chessington. and was in que for the ride. my 3 year old daughter had been kicking the man in front of us. ( i had not seen) He turned and shouted at her 'stop kicking me,don't you dare kick me' his tone and voulume of voice was a bit over the top. I told my daughter you don't kick its naughty. Then i told him she is 3 years old if there is a problem you talk to me not her. The woman who was with him said they have to be firm with their child because of some special needs he has and i said that may be your situation and you may need to talk to your son that way, But that does not mean its ok to talk to my child that way.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 08/09/2013 19:27

Well maybe she wasn't looking for a minute or too, don't you ever take your eyes off your children even for a second.?

YouTheCat · 08/09/2013 19:29

Nope, not in that situation. In a strange place with a lot of other people around it is way too easy for a little one to wander off.

Bearbehind · 08/09/2013 19:30

Yet another thread where some people, like icebeing completely accept the OP's version of the truth.

If she didn't notice her child kicking people in the confined space of a queue, how much confidence do you have in her version of what, a quite rightly annoyed, person actually said and how he said it?

usualsuspect · 08/09/2013 19:30

She was holding her hand.

Runningchick123 · 08/09/2013 19:31

I went away for an hour and then returned to the thread to fnd out that the angelic child was also touching the mans backpack, a small thing, but it makes me wonder what else she was doing that was annoying the man.
Kicking, touching his belongings, was there anything else OP?

YouTheCat · 08/09/2013 19:31

Then how could she not notice the kicking?

treaclesoda · 08/09/2013 19:31

I'm really confused now.

Did he shout abuse at her, or did he just raise his voice and tell her not to do it?

usualsuspect · 08/09/2013 19:33

This is a 3 year old we are talking about.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 08/09/2013 19:34

yes silverapples i have a teenager.... it might seem im not listening but feel like that to about this thread... lots of assumptions have been made. there have been rather nasty comments towards me and my daughter some questions/comments i ignore if they are rude or nasty. so that may be why it seems i don't answer. its also very hard to answer everything when you have people having digs all the time. its also hard to answer because what gets said gets twisted

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 08/09/2013 19:35

That's aibu for you,ghost.Grin

FamiliesShareGerms · 08/09/2013 19:35

Um, most three year olds do understand cause and effect: "we are going home because your behaviour is unacceptable". the same as they can figure out that they can play up without consequences if you let them. That's natural, IMHO.

FWIW, I wouldn't have taken all the kids home just because of this incident, because I try to give warnings and the opportunity to put things right. So I would have asked DD to apologise for kicking, and perhaps if she hadn't I would have said that would mean going home. I don't think whooshing off home at the first misdemeanour is realistic - I would never go anywhere with mine in that case!

But does DD now know that kicking someone else is unacceptable?

(I admire your resilience on this thread, BTW, OP. even if your insistence that you are right and everyone else is wrong if frustrating)

YouTheCat · 08/09/2013 19:35

I don't believe I have been rude.

If I have feel free to report.

The only 3 year olds I know who would kick an adult are ones with poor discipline. And I know a lot of 3 year olds.

FamiliesShareGerms · 08/09/2013 19:36

strikethrough fail

Bearbehind · 08/09/2013 19:37

ghostspirit if you can provide any kind of justification for your daughter randomly kicking strangers whilst standing beside you, holding your hand, in a queue where there is nothing else to do, I'm sure many of us would love to hear it?

Writerwannabe83 · 08/09/2013 19:37

I sould have thought that If you were holding a child's hand then obviously you would know they are kicking someone. The child would naturally weight bear on the adult's arm whilst raising one of their legs and then you'd sense the repeated movements of their weight shifting as they kicked? You'd feel their movements through your owns arms? Wouldn't you?

Original poster
ghostspirit · 08/09/2013 19:38

youthecat so you have never taken your eyes of your child. in a busy place... so you have never taken money out of your pocket whilst out.. this means taking your eyes of your child. you have never bent down to do a shoe lace up. this means taking your eyes of your child. if you have other children you have never had one of them say look at that mum/dad that means taking your eyes of one of your children

OP posts:
duchessandscruffy · 08/09/2013 19:38

You haven't answered the question of how your dd reacted when she got shouted at.

You also haven't clarified what you meant by 'shouting' as in the op you said his tone and volume was ott, which to me does not equate to the abusive behaviour you have alluded to later in the thread.

Turniptwirl · 08/09/2013 19:40

Yabvu not to notice your child kicking a stranger for long enough that he turned round and shouted at her.

YouTheCat · 08/09/2013 19:40

For a few seconds, yes. For long enough for them to annoy a member of the public, no.

usualsuspect · 08/09/2013 19:40

So maybe her DD wasn't actually kung fuck kicking the man then.

Maybe it was an accidental kick.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 08/09/2013 19:40

OP has had a kicking on this thread but she's argued that she's not been U which makes me wonder why she bothered posting. It also took a long time for her to say that she did apologise on behalf of her DD. This whole thread has been so goady - from all sides!

usualsuspect · 08/09/2013 19:41

Kung fu not kung fuck Grin

duchessandscruffy · 08/09/2013 19:41

I think the other things that people have a problem with is that you didn't even apologise or make your dd apologise to the kickee.

SlobAtHome · 08/09/2013 19:41

God is this still in full swing? OP still not getting the point I see. I'm shocked. Wink

treaclesoda · 08/09/2013 19:41

as an aside, a few posters have said the man should have got down to the little girl's level and spoken to her firmly that way. I would have found that far more intimidating and terrifying when I was a child than someone just snapping at me. As a parent, I'd be furious if someone did that on my child. I'd rather a quick shout from a stranger than a quiet in your face talk.

I'm not shouty with my kids, or with anyone else, and I do try to talk to them on their level but I wouldn't want a stranger to do it.