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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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man shouted at my 3 year old for kicking

999 replies

ghostspirit · 08/09/2013 14:53

I took my children to chessington. and was in que for the ride. my 3 year old daughter had been kicking the man in front of us. ( i had not seen) He turned and shouted at her 'stop kicking me,don't you dare kick me' his tone and voulume of voice was a bit over the top. I told my daughter you don't kick its naughty. Then i told him she is 3 years old if there is a problem you talk to me not her. The woman who was with him said they have to be firm with their child because of some special needs he has and i said that may be your situation and you may need to talk to your son that way, But that does not mean its ok to talk to my child that way.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 08/09/2013 17:02

maybe i did not see because i looked the other was for a second or 2

Pull the other one.

friday16 · 08/09/2013 17:02

i was in a que

It's like the Guardian cryptic, isn't it?

"Spaniards in a shortened line, what? (3)"

BadLad · 08/09/2013 17:02

I don't think anyone has said that they can be totally confident that their toddler would never kick an adult in a queue.

Just that they would be mortified and apologetic to the adult, and understand that he might want to tell the child off.

That's how I have read the posts, and to tell the truth, I have been relieved to read the prevailing opinion in this thread.

TobyLerone · 08/09/2013 17:02

OP, do you understand the difference between being 'the perfect parent with the perfect child' and 'being someone who is mortified and contrite if their child kicks an adult'?

Nobody but you is mentioning perfect parenting. But a fair few of us have said that it's not necessarily normal 3 year old behaviour to kick adults when they're bored.

FrigginRexManningDay · 08/09/2013 17:03

You can't duchess cause me ma will clatter you.

Runningchick123 · 08/09/2013 17:03

Having thought about this a bit more because I'm obviously bored shitless and have nothing better to do I think in the OPs situation I would have been pleased that the kicked man had told my dd off and probably would have added "see that what happens when you go around kicking people" and then I would have apologised profusely to the man and admitted to my lapse in concentration which allowed the situation to arise and then I Would have taken my daughter out of the queue and let her understand that she wasn't going on that ride now and if she continued to behave badly there would be no more rides for the whole day for her.
I certainly wouldn't have taken the 'oh precious darling daughter please don't kick people but ignore that nasty shouty man and let's continue to enjoy ourselves as though you have done no wrong'

Johnny5needsinput · 08/09/2013 17:03

What if a teacher uses a tone and volume of voice that is a bit "off"?

gordyslovesheep · 08/09/2013 17:03

to be fair I can't spell it either - hence my over use of 'stood in a line' Grin

ghostspirit · 08/09/2013 17:03

most of you are full of crap you really are... not let a child on another ride.. and would be heading home i think that just nasty so cause one child was naughty you would make the other children suffer and waste the 100 odd pounds it cost for the day... very nasty indeed

OP posts:
duchessandscruffy · 08/09/2013 17:03

You still don't seem at all bothered that your 3 year old was kicking a stranger.

LackingEnergy · 08/09/2013 17:05

I really don't get it Confused

you don't want others to comment on your childs behaviour
you don't want them to take on a parental role when you quite clearly don't
you don't want them to talk to your child
you know that your childs behaviour was out of order yet you didn't really do anything about it

So...

You instill good manners, boundaries, consequences drop the wishy washy rubbish think of ways to entertain them at times when you know they will be bored (and entertain themselves by kicking people?), like in a queue for example :)

This situation should never have happened. I regularly take a 2, 5 and 8 year olds out and not one of them would behave like that. If they did not only would they be bollocked by a stranger they would be bollocked by me and the older dc by their mum when we got back. I would then apologise and make sure the dc did too before upping my parenting.

TobyLerone · 08/09/2013 17:05

"Spaniards in a shortened line, what? (3)"

:o

Oceansurf · 08/09/2013 17:07

How on earth is shouting violence??

Goodness me. Time. Place etc.

Your child was being a little brat. Awful behaviour. Awful that you are more concerned that a man who was kicked by her shouted at her, rather than being concerned she was kicking!

I'd be mortified if my child did this. Mortified.

p.s if she keeps this up, I can guarantee you a couple of teachers will shout at her at school. How will you handle that?

YouTheCat · 08/09/2013 17:08

Okay.

So you were on your phone then. The very fact that you have avoided this question quite a few times confirms this.

Maybe you should put your phone away and concentrate on interacting with your children?

treaclesoda · 08/09/2013 17:08

how would it be 'nasty' to waste money by cutting the day short? I don't follow the logic.

Its quite nasty to kick a stranger though...

duchessandscruffy · 08/09/2013 17:08

No what is 'nasty' is that a man who was stood in a queue minding his own business got kicked for no reason and didn't even get an apology.

insancerre · 08/09/2013 17:08

friday16
Thanks and Cake for post of the day

FrigginRexManningDay · 08/09/2013 17:09

I am constipated OP,so yes full of crap.

WhereYouLeftIt · 08/09/2013 17:09

AIBU?

  YABVU x200

But, but, but ....

  FFS!
Runningchick123 · 08/09/2013 17:09

There is nothing nasty about warning a child that if they continue to misbehave then the will be no more rides for them. There has to be consequences to bad behaviour. Was there another adult with you n the day out - if there was then there is no reason for the other children to miss out. It would be an even more effective punishment for the one who hasn't heeded the warning and corrected her behaviour to watch the others enjoying themselves whilst she stands with mum.
It really is no wonder that your dd thinks its ok to go around kicking random strangers if you think that effective discipline that comes with a pre-warning is mean and nasty

Sirzy · 08/09/2013 17:10

More effective than a "don't do that again" type response.

a child kicking a stranger is very naughty. They need to be shown that.

CatAmongThePigeons · 08/09/2013 17:12

Why post in AIBU if you don't want to hear that you're un-fucking- reasonable.

But in the spirit of your thread, your child was nastier!

Oceansurf · 08/09/2013 17:12

Friday16 Brilliant ha. Just spat my coffee!

CatAmongThePigeons · 08/09/2013 17:14

WW-the OP- D if a child had repeatedly kicked her child? I bet there would be shrieking and snarls aimed at said child.

ghostspirit · 08/09/2013 17:14

no there was not another adult just me. if the continue to misbehave of course there would be a form of punishment. that would be that she has to be strapped in her buggy and not allowed to walk. but it would not mean no more rides because that would not be fair on the other children.

my daughter is 3 i never said its ok for her to kick i told her that as well so she should nto think its ok either. i have not said it is

OP posts:
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