to consider a fussy diet as a big against for a potential new love

[glitternanny]

and I mean seriously restricted 2:

Proteins, one carbohydrate and the same lunch everyday.

I am with purple, some foods physically make me feel sick. My dad is very fussy and my mum a bit too, I can't abide fish and I am a vegetarian. Some textures make me gag. Thankfully people seem to like me for who I am not what I eat. In my case I think it is partly inherited. Some smells make me gag as well.

I would be put off by other things, but not fussy eating. Takes all sorts for the world to go around.

It would be very very difficult to fancy a man who only drank one brand of orange squash.

A hobby can be anything you want it to be. It doesn't have to be a non vital activity. Yes, we could all survive quite easily by eating the same breakfast, lunch and dinner every day of the year, it sounds painfully dull though. If people enjoy trying new foods, new recipes and new restaurants of course this can be a hobby.

I would argue that the man described by the OP has anything but a 'healthy, in proportion' attitude towards food.

anonacfr But why does everybody else have to conform to your definition of gorgeous? I bloody love spinach. Yet you reckon that 90% of people hate it. I don't feel the need to force spinach, or tofu, or dulse on other people, and tell them they are 'childish' if they don't want to eat it. My sense of self is not bound up in everyone else in the world liking to eat what I eat.

Russians eating together as an extended family or tribe has been part of pretty much ery culture around the world since time immemorial. The "fetishisation" of food and communal eating is as old as humanity. In some cultures including ones where food is scarce refusing food your hosted offers is breathtakingly rude and just not done. Your theory that viewing food as more than fuel is unique to modern consumer societies is way off.

I would judge any man who drank squash full stop.

anonacfr You haven't read the whole thread, have you. Not everyone has a sense of taste and smell, for a start. And some of us have hypersensitive senses. Many people in this thread have made ridiculously generalistic comments about people who at the root of it like eating different things from them.

Food is fuel. If you don't understand that then you have serious issues. Food isn't comfort, food isn't fun, food isn't love and it isn't self esteem (despite what many people in this thread seem to believe). Obviously nobody wants to eat anything yukky - so why is it that when someone else's yukky doesn't correspond with yours, they are wrong and childish but when it does, they are sensible? I like Spinach. I'm not judging you for your claim that most people hate it. You might well be right. All the more for me then (although my kids don't like it so I don't get it as often as I'd want).

food is a religion for me

See what I mean? :(

stillseeking I'm not sure I know any men who drink orange squash. I do know a man who will only drink one brand of whiskey. And another who prefers to drink Guinness to anything else. What's the difference between them and the orange squash person?

squoosh I agree with you about the man described by the OP. But I've taken issue with some of the more outlandish things said by others on this thread, not with the OP.

I have consistently argued in this thread that people should accept that other people might like eating different things to them. t's not me arguing for everyone to eat the same every meal. It's the logical extension of what other posters are saying. I'm the one arguing for diversity.

This thread is really winding me up now. Yes I am a bit fussy but I am not dull. I don't make people choose a specific restaurant if going out. I will always find something I can have. If I am happy with that then why is it anyone elses business. I don't tell people not to eat certain foods so why should other people tell me to eat food I don't want to eat. Let people live their own lives in their own way.

What a depressing thread.

I've worried as DS grows up that he will face discrimination because of his Aspergers and OCD, which does amongst other thing mean he is very cautious about food.

I wasn't expecting it to be quite so sweepingly jeering.

Luckily he does have a sense of humour and a remarkable tolerance of the nastiness of supposedly normal adults.

Can food not be fun as well as fuel?

Can you accept that it is just your opinion that food is solely fuel, not the opinion of others?

Lancelottie Exactly.

Luckily I don't think the nasty people on this thread are indicative of the world in general. It hasn't been my experience anyway.

YANBU, it'd be a deal breaker for me.

It's fine if people don't want to date a fussy eater but please don't make assumptions about our personalities. I wouldn't want to date anyone who feels they can judge a person as being being boring etc based on what they eat. Those kind of posts says much more about the poster than the fussy eater.

I have a child with sensory issues who will only eat a few meals. To think people may judge the rest of his personality based on that is absurd.

My fussy eating is embarrassing I am glad my husband can see behind that and focus on my wonderful personality

Food is fuel. If you don't understand that then you have serious issues. Food isn't comfort, food isn't fun, food isn't love and it isn't self esteem

This is one of the wrongest things I have ever read.

Is sex just for procreation then?

What a joyless world you live in if you think food is just fuel.

I have read all the thread and I acknowledged that fussiness derived from any medical/physical issues is a completely different issue. In fact I wouldn't call it fussiness- it's not a choice at all.

I also appreciate that people like different things (I'll have some of your spinach please ).

HOWEVER when discussing fussiness we are talking about people who don't even try stuff because it looks funny, who have such a restricted diet (check out the OP) that it impedes on EVERY SINGLE MEAL.
I hate calfs liver (used to be very popular in France when I was growing up). When I was about 13 I was invited to a friends' house and her mother served it to us for lunch. I used up a whole pot of mustard but I ate the whole damn thing because I was a guest.
I also loathe peppers (of any colour) and meat fat- I work round that too.

When cooking for friends there's always a way to accomodate everyone (vegetarian, no lentils, no dairy, flour free cake etc)
But when you end up with people who can't be accommodated because they 'don't like it' that is just bad manners IMO.

Regarding 'food as fuel' again I'll refer you to the much more eloquent post of MrTumbles

Cat If you want to regard it as fun then that's up to you. What is unreasonable is to demand that everyone else regards it as fun.

essicarthorse You're the one that's wrong if you think food is self esteem. You must have a terrible life if you think that joy only comes from food. :(

"Food isn't comfort, food isn't fun, food isn't love and it isn't self esteem (despite what many people in this thread seem to believe)."

But it can be all of those things - what's wrong with deriving comfort, fun and love from food? I have lots of happy memories based on sharing food with people.

I had a boyfriend once who had food issues and his anxious face if I suggested anything remotely novel was a massive turn-off. Going round to his place to eat pasta with microwaved sauce made me realise what an important role food plays in human society. (To be fair, he was great in bed and had a sense of humour too... there are some exaggerations on this thread!)

What is unreasonable is to demand that everyone else regards it as fun.

Wanting to go to different restaurants, to have new lunches and dinners and try new recipes, go on holiday and not worrying is not unreasonable.

It is a "big against for a potential new love" because food isn't just fuel, it is part of how human beings (with a very few exceptions) bond and socialise- always has been, always will be.

Avoiding getting into a close relationship with somebody who has very different attitudes to food to you is usually going to make sense - a vegan wouldn't want to date somebody who's absolute favourite meal was a rare steak, somebody who adores sea food but eats no carbs would struggle with a partner who wouldn't touch sea food but ate mainly pasta and bread...

Couples cook for one another, potentially raise families who eat together and are influenced by their parents' attitudes to food.

Cooking separate meals on a daily basis for the rest of your life, or accepting eating a very restricted diet that is neither appropriate to your own health nor to your taste, is not a happy prospect, because food is more than fuel. Eating out is relevant to early dating but down the line is the least of the problems faced by a long term couple who share a kitchen, a shopping budget and a dinner table, I would imagine... I would still see food incompatibility as a deal breaker at some point in the relationship, and a "not right for me, might as well not waste either of our time" signal on the first date.

I did dump somebody for picking all the salami off a pizza once, decades ago... and do get annoyed by house gets with long inconsistent lists of "won't eats" which make it hard to feed them and my family anything remotely palatable for days in a row (catering for single meals is OK) - living with somebody with similar fussy habits would be infuriating and wouldn't work, because we'd be incompatible...

Russians Knowing how difficult it is to feed a child who has a severe allergy to certain foods is not fun. Knowing that mealtimes can still be fun is certainly not an unreasonable expectation for many of us.

You're the one that's wrong if you think food is self esteem. You must have a terrible life if you think that joy only comes from food.

That is bloody patronising. Why are you allowed to insult others choices, yet we couldn't possibly be allowed to insult yours?