Pictures of sick child in hospital on FB?

[TheWomanWhoMisplacedHerHusband]

Close-up shots of very sick child sleeping/with drip in arms/trying to smile for camera with balloons people have given them with updates like 'thanks for the balloon they cheered her up a bit' taken by parents have come up on my feed (they don't know what's wrong with child yet).
Aibu to be a bit shocked at these?

The rest of the post which accompained the "aplogy" sort of undid the words she may have typed.

I think it's quite telling that the OP is not actually a friend of the people she's complaining about. That means she's not in a position to understand them at all.

Not fixing your fb security settings to the ideal setting does not seem like a very big crime to me. If your DC is in hospital, you have more important things to worry about than the odd stranger being put off by your fb photos.

She apologised but then called them selfish.

But even if op had thought they were selfish, she has understood that now. Even said as much...yet the vitriol continues.

You know, I don't believe half of you are that bothered either way...just gives you the chance to type and join in!

Most of this section is built on silly (shouldn't really ask) questions, I've been guilty myself. The continual going on is exhausting...

Again OP, from my limited experience of having children in hospital, I can say that what is good for the parents is often good for the child. You need something to help you get through it, to stay calm and upbeat for your child to give the child the support the child needs. So they may (consciously or not) feel that if FB helps them, it helps their child.

I get wound up by people moaning about FB in general.

It's not compulsory to use it.

I agree, usualsuspect. Literally in the same breath we get:

*Sorry to those I have upset. Definitely didn't mean to.

To me, it seems almost selfish of the parents...*

I will probably bow out now as I've said what I think - trying to evoke sympathy in unsympathetic people is not a very rewarding exercise.

Nope Feminine, the OP hasn't taken back her "selfish parents" comment.

Ok marfisa then she should I agree.

I misunderstood.

I had been reading her posts in a 'gotten' it now type way.

Maybe she will come back and clarify?

Some people have the world and its wife on FB and in that case, I'd feel a little uncomfortable knowing so many randomers are seeing a child at their most vulnerable. Otherwise, I think YABU although it's not something I would do, I can see why people draw comfort from it.

wow, op, its like every time you say 'sorry', that 'but ...,' plus worse insult is just one step behind

actually, i think your attitude is shared by a lot of other people, and not just about photos. some people see anything to do with tslking about a childs illness as selfish, self centred, attention seeking etc. i think they cant bring themselves to imagine their child being that ill so they have this self defence mechanism

my eldest has been seriously ill. i now only share fb pics and status updates on fb support groups which are private and moderated. it is because i suspect a number of my 'friends' feel the same way you do

i hope your friends child is ok. as a sudden illness, she doesnt yet realise that some 'friends ' cant cope with the reality of a sick child, so she has just shared with those she thoughtbwould support herv

Actually I agree with the OP. So does my local hospital - they now have signs asking parents not to take pictures when children are on the wards.

If the child was extremely ill, a newborn or a long stayer then I understand it moreso to keep loved ones in the loop.

But generally my thought process is that I'd hate for someone to prod a camera in my face when I'm ill, why would my child feel any differently.

I think the decision on this is down to the parents and nobody else, they have the right to make decisions involving that child whether we agree or not.

I do think some people are too open and am amazed at those who are posting constantly with what they are doing, they almost live their lives through FB, it's as though things aren't real or valuable if not posted for all to see. The key really is if the people getting those posts are close enough to want to know and to support. God knows, families with sick children should be able to ask for whatever support they want without criticism.

Lots of people are entirely missing the OPs point, this child didn't have a diagnosis of a serious condition, she had a virus, and IMHO the pictures probably made the situation look worse than it was, posted for the purpose of getting lots of attention. But you don't have to respond, I've started to accept that some people need lots of hand-holding for every minor crisis, and FB facilitates that, which is why it's so popular.
Asking for support when you have a very sick child is an entirely different matter.

I don't like seeing pictures of children at all on fb . I think I am old fashioned . I don't get upset if other people do post their dc. I don't like seeing sick children on fb because it is sad that they are ill.

I know someone who was in a and e after her ds was rushed there in an ambulance posting it on fb. If I was in that situation fb wouldn't be something I would think about .

In the ops original post she claims the child has not yet been diagnosed. It becomes a "virus of some sort" on a later posting.

Smallpox and polio are viruses, as is rabies. Measles is a virus. So are hepatitis, HIV. Are you suggesting these aren't serious conditions Axure, as they are only a virus?

I'm not suggesting the child had any of these, but a virus can be very deadly.

sudden illnesses that need hospital treatment and are undiagnosed can be really scary! antibiotics treat bacteria, not viruses, so 'something viral' can be scary too.

i would def post at a+e, in that 2 hours between arriving and seeing triage!

The OP has been given a real hard time here and most of its been completely OTT! unless I've missed something she hasn't been rude, bitchy etc but has just expressed an opinion. Whether you agree or not she's entitled to it and shouldn't be shot down in the way some of you have! Threads like this make you see exactly how Mumsnet sometimes gets the bad reputation that it does.....

He was rushed into treatment according to fb as the injury was so nasty .

I agree mrs3chins .

I am failing to see how the OP is nasty and bitchy too.
She has an issue with posting photos of a child in a vulnerable position and I think that there are lots of people who don't agree with putting photos of a child on FB.

IMO this us very different from a parent posting to get support from her own network of friends and family.
And again different from someone paying photos to a restricted number of people to keep them up to date.
In this case, the OP received an update from someone she doesn't know well. She might not even have seen the child before! Very different situation.

She's not dying, but if she was, is FB (where they are friends with a lot of people they probably aren't close to) the place to air your child's decline? Or should you be spending every second with said child stroking their face, holding them

You realise it can take months, years even, to die? And children can and do spend a lot of that time in hospital.

I disagree with the posters who are saying if parents want to put photos of their sick child on FB then it's their decision, and entirely up to them. It is not. It is the child who the photo is of, and therefore the child who should decide if their photo is put on the Internet. If they're too young to consent then its seems to me to be such a violation of their privacy to post a photo of them at such a vulnerable time.

Oh FFS the child was unlikely to have rabies or HIV.