Pictures of sick child in hospital on FB?

[TheWomanWhoMisplacedHerHusband]

Close-up shots of very sick child sleeping/with drip in arms/trying to smile for camera with balloons people have given them with updates like 'thanks for the balloon they cheered her up a bit' taken by parents have come up on my feed (they don't know what's wrong with child yet).
Aibu to be a bit shocked at these?

My new baby was very sick in PICU for weeks. I deliberately didn't put any photos of her looking ill on FB, because it was frankly horrific and I didn't want to upset people. However, for my own sake and the fact I was proud of her I REALLY wanted to! I do tend to over think everything and wish I could've just put the damn photos on and to hell with everyone else.

Being in that situation is awful, you feel so out of touch, FB was a lifeline to me and the comments I got in response to my updates made a massive difference to me.

A lot of my family and friends didn't grasp the gravity of the situation I was in, I got few visitors and my gorgeous girl got no cards or presents. I feel a picture would've spoken a thousand words and I might have had a few more people make the effort to visit. Being stuck in a hospital far from home with a dying child is horrendous. Those few who visited in person were the only ones who really 'got' it, because they SAW her.

How dare you, OP, judge this woman for being on FB and not 'stroking her child's face' 24/7. Her Facebook page, her child, her way of coping, her choice. Stop trying to make out you're concerned for the child's privacy! You just want to be snarky. Are you this snarky about the 'first day at school' and 'new baby' pics etc because don't they invade the child's privacy too in the same way??

I'm sickened by your post.

Look, I wouldn't do it, I do FB at the most minimal level possible, but I'm slightly surprised you find it so hard to understand why they are doing it.

This is their contact medium with a lot of people, and I imagine the responses they get are helping them through. Plus, there will be a lot of longeurs and waiting around, watching the child sleeping etc when the anxiety starts to build and drive you potty (I speak from some limited experience), so a focus like doing Facebook might be really helpful.

Sorry to those I have upset. Definitely didn't mean to.

To me, it seems almost selfish of the parents to post these pictures of a sick sleeping child just so they can get comments of support. I'm a strong advocate of child privacy so it did upset me seeing these pictures, however after this thread I can see why it was done.

I think some of you are being a little personal saying you are sickened by my post when I was only thinking of the child in question. But I'll put that down to bad memories being brought up.

Eldritch I think I've stated a few times that I understand why they've done it.

Dear god op have you had tact bypass surgery or something??

When I put selfish, I meant that its to make the parents feel good, it doesn't help the child having their ill face posted on Fb.

Wow. Just wow. Yes OP how incredibly selfish of parents to get support from their (and their child's) loved ones at a difficult and emotionally draining time.

OP, I think that the very articulate comment from furfoxsake explains why your comment that "its to make the parents feel good, it doesn't help the child" is inaccurate.

In the case of my friend who just lost her child, putting photos of him on fb helped to create a huge outpouring of support for both her AND her DS. Furthermore, it helped to educate people about children and cancer and the resources available to help them. Lots of us made and are making donations to an organisation that brought joy to her DS during (what we didn't know would be) his final months.

It's also a false opposition to distinguish helping the parents from "helping the child". The demands on the parents of a severely ill child are enormous, and helping the parents IS helping the child.

Parents love their DC, and like it or not, DC who are gravely ill remain their DC. People post photos of their DC on fb all the time. Why should parents NOT post photos of their ill children just because it offends sensibilities like yours? Should the parents wait until the children are "well enough" not to make you feel squeamish?

My friend's DS was ill, but he was still his beautiful self. He didn't need to be hidden away from a larger community of family and friends.

I am willing to believe that you mean well, OP, but you still don't get it. Your tears of loss are not falling on the computer keys as you type. Please don't dictate to other parents when it comes to coping with suffering.

Why judge them op ? You don't even know what's wrong with this child do you ? I can't believe you would slate them on here. It's up to them. Hide the posts or defriend them if you're that bothered. As for attention seeking. Again up to them. Who knows what's going on ? Not y.ou that's for damn sure. So stop judging and maybe offer some support.

Just stop posting OP. you have upset people and are continuing to do so with your ill judged posts. There will be people with sick children in hospital now reading this.

So now you think the parents aren't thinking of their children?

Op I think you need to step away from your computer. You really are just digging a huge hole for yourself. You are coming across as bitchy, nasty, rude, tactless and unsympathetic. It also seems as if you won't back down until others agree with you. Really it's not a nice way t behave when talking about sick kids. Lots of posters on here have been in the situation of the person on Facebook that you are discussing. I won't call them your friends as the way you are talking about them isn't very friend like.

OP, I don't think YABU.

I can understand why people would want to use FB in hospital; I can also understand posting photos of a recovering child.

But posting pictures of a child with an unknown ailment, as soon as they get to hospital, as you've described? Before they know the implications or prognosis? Nope, I don't get that either. As has been said, every time a friend comments on that picture, it will pop up in their friends' lists, many of whom will not know that child.

Now I wouldn't want photos of myself beamed around the internet seen by virtual strangers if I was at my most vulnerable; I therefore wouldn't do it to a child either.

I am sorry in advance if this reply upsets anybody - I appreciate we all have our own coping mechanisms - but I really do see where the OP is coming from.

It would only show in their friends list if they had lax security,

Loads of people do have lax security though Sirzy. On that mini feed on the right hand side, there are constant updates of people liking or commenting on somebdy's photo I don't know. If I'm really bored I have a look sometimes.

I can't see any posts where the OP is horrible, or rude? Can someone highlight them for me, please?

Thats a whole different matter though!

I hear you sometimes OP, sometimes it does make me uncomfortable, purely for the fact its not nice to see innocent little children in that state.

But I would never dare say anything, the same with those stillborn baby pictures, you can't understand that level of grief, and people deal with it in different ways. You can always hide the feed.

I have done so on the past, some of them I find a little exploitative tbh.

I'm quite concerned about the bullying, "pack" mentality on here. The OP says something, others don't agree with her. That's fair enough but she's been called an "utter weirdo", been told to get off her computer and stop posting now, called "sickening" and for what? Saying that she doesn't agree with people posting photos of sick children on Facebook.

The utter hypocrisy from some of you is staggering.

I don't think op has been rude either.

I think she made an error posting here however. It should have stayed in her head/ or real life friends.

Seems now that she has understood, and is trying to take the constructive comments on board.

Yes, it appeared she was being judgemental, but I don't think there is one person alive who isn't about something :)

It's the calling people selfish for putting pictures of their sick kids in hospital on FB that's a step too far IMO.

I agree Trixy. The whole attitude towards the parents has been very unfair IMO and shows a massive lack of compassion.

What trixy said.

If she doesn't like seeing the pictures she can hide them.

If I see something on FB I don't like I hide it.

Surely OP knew that this thread would upset some mnetters.

She's apologised for offending people, that should be an end to it.

I will admit its not something I'd do either, but each to their own.