Pictures of sick child in hospital on FB?

[TheWomanWhoMisplacedHerHusband]

Close-up shots of very sick child sleeping/with drip in arms/trying to smile for camera with balloons people have given them with updates like 'thanks for the balloon they cheered her up a bit' taken by parents have come up on my feed (they don't know what's wrong with child yet).
Aibu to be a bit shocked at these?

Exactly usual. I think it's very distasteful to judge someone when they are going through hell

Yes really, it's not difficult to hide things on FB.

People can do what the hell they like on their FB pages.

Trix - the last thing i thought about when my child was in hospital was whether peppl were judging me.

I have known friends in RL and online who have done this and been overwhelmed by the love and support sent to them - it's often what helps them to get through these times. Sitting in a hospital with a sick child is isolating - some people prefer that, others desperately need to reach out for support. It's not for anyone to judge any parent in this situation.

Last year, a child I knew died. She knew she was very ill and she went through the hell of painful, frightening treatment in an attempt to save her. She was just a little girl and she enjoyed posing for those photos. Smiling for people she knew were routing for her helped her to cope, too.

Who are you to judge and query whether the parents are right or wrong?

Please God you never have to go through what these families did.

Putting a photo on facebook is hardly plastering it all over the internet either. Lots of people have extremely private facebooks - I have only 20 friends on mine and my privacy settings are extremely high. You can't even send me a friends request or message or search for me, yet alone see anything.

Yes of course one of my friends might choose to share a photo (although I'd hope I'd know them well enough that they wouldn't) but in all honesty you've more chance of a random paedophile taking a photo of your child in the playground or on the bus and sharing it (for example) than having a very private facebook photo shared over the net.

They are not really your friends are they? So hide the feed and at some point in the future delete them.

I've recently been through this. I used Facebook to update people with status updates about what was happening. However, I could not bring myself to take a photo of ds when he was in so much pain. The thought briefly crossed my mind but was quickly dismissed. I definitely would not have shared such a photo on Facebook. Why would I want to show the world a photo of my child looking at his worst? However, this is just my opinion and what others do is up to them.

Why are people giving the OP such a hard time? I also think this is slightly odd behaviour, probably for attention seeking purposes. I wouldn't do it and ive never seen anyone else do it. By all means give people updates, but taking a picture of an ill child in a hospital bed and then showing the world is very weird.

The op is getting a hard time due to the fact she is being so judgemental about something she has no experience of

Yabu.

My ds had bronchiolitis at 5 weeks old. I was so freaked out that my tiny delicate newborn was turning blue and struggling to breath. We were in an isolation room for a week, we were not allowed any visitors in the room and I didn't want to leave ds as I was worried he would stop breathing :(

I posted a Facebook update each day sometimes with photos. It was such a comfort to read all tge messages of support.

The day he got discharged I managed to catch his smile in a photo ( he had been smiling for a few weeks but I never got tge chance to take a photo) his cannula and oxygen tubes were in the photo but I love that photo so much as my baby looks so happy and I know he was over the worst by then.

I hope you never are in the situation where you are isolated with a very sick child, but until you have experienced that don't judge the actions of others.

Sirzy, how do you know she has no experience of it? That's quite a large assumption to make without any evidence to back it up.

Also discussing with friends whether or not its appropriate is not "bitching" either. Dear god, sometimes people on here need to get a grip of themselves.

you only need to read her posts to see that she hasn't been in that horrible position herself.

And it is bithcing to slag off how someone copes in such a horrible time.

Wow your really getting a flaming for this.
I'm not on FB and I really don't like people putting kids on at all. FB now owns that picture if they wanted to use it (for say an advertising campaign) they could. IMO Children's photos should not be on the internet because they cant consent especially to such an intimate pic.

I know I'll get flamed and I nearly didnt post but sometimes op's get such a hard time and no one wants to chip in incase they get the wrath too.

YABU I put pictures of my son on FB post Cranio surgery so his grandparents and aunties could see how he was doing. They love him and wanted to keep up to date and that was the easiest way to do it. Doesn't mean I was ignoring my DS on my phone he was asleep while I posted.

I see what you mean OP, but I'm one of those "no online photos of DS until he's old enough to understand" weirdos. I avoid photos going up online (no facebook) that I wouldn't be comfortable with seeing on the front cover of my local paper, and a child in a hospital bed is not in the category for me.

Other people are less hung-up about privacy and the permanence of the online world so will be comfortable with seeking support that way. That's fine, its their family and they can make those decisions, but I would feel for the children becoming teens and those photos still being publicly available as they negotiate the high school minefield.

Also I don't think it's far to say if you have a sick child nothing you do can be judged. The op isn't going to say anything to them directly, obviously she doesn't want to upset them anymore. However she can help being shocked that the child's intamate moments are being put up for anyone who's a 'friend' to see.
If family want to be updated pics could be sent on email. However up loading it on the Internet isn't private even if you have privacy settings.

But Sirzy the op wasn't "slagging off" how someone copes....she was just questioning their decision to post photos...and she wondered how the child in question might feel about it when they're older.
I thought that was partly why mn existed - so you can wonder about why people do things, and then have other people explain the possible reasons.
Preferably without the need to be horrible in the process.

Also I don't think it's far to say if you have a sick child nothing you do can be judged.

Perhaps not, but to discuss it with friends and post it on the internet is very distasteful. Think "oh I wouldn't do that" by all means but to go further is wrong.

And to judge what people do to cope, which isn't harming anyone is wrong IMO.

I feel ill reading this. Your perspective is judgemental, unkind and frankly abhorrent. A friend of mine lost her child to cancer yesterday after a battle that lasted many months. What she decided to share with her friends on fb during this horrible period is utterly and entirely her own business.

The key word here is 'friends'. You clearly aren't one to the person whose photos you are looking at, but that is not her fault. No one is making you look at her photos. Get off her facebook.

And in the meantime, I hope to god that no mums who have been through what my friend has been through come across posts as clueless as yours.

By the way, I haven't read the whole thread and I don't usually jump on flaming bandwagons, but if criticism is being directed at the OP's post in this case, it is well deserved.

Marfisa - sorry to hear about your friends child :(

Thanks Sirzy, he was only 6.

There were/are lots of photos of him on facebook, taken by friends and family during the long days they spent with him in hospital. It is a touching record of his final months that is all the more precious now he is gone. His mum was under no obligation to share these photos, but she did - it was a way of keeping all the people who loved him in touch with him. I respect her choice entirely because it was HER CHOICE.